My son failed math, so I grounded him for the entire summer. Need parenting help! (method, punish)

[Charles]

Originally Posted by WWH

My 15-year-old son just finished his freshman year in high school on Friday. I had known since March that he was struggling in math, so I took away his TV, computer, and video game priveleges until the end of the school year, so he would have more time to study. All year he kept whining about how math was "too hard" and making all sorts of excuses for doing poorly, like that High School was too hard for him and that he was having trouble because it was his first year of high school! I warned him to study, and I told him he'd be grounded all summer if he didn't get good grades on his final report card. He has often gotten bad grades in math, and it is a subject that he was always slacked off in and I am sick of it.

The last straw was on Friday, which was the last day of school in our district. He showed me his final report card, and I was appalled to see that he got an F in math! I told him that he was Grounded For The Entire Summer.

The terms of his grounding are:
No TV
No Computer
No Video Games
No Phone (I also took away his cell phone)
No Friends
No Desserts
No Bedroom Door (I removed it- privacy is a privilege in our household)
Plenty of Extra Chores
No Books except those I or my wife approve. I will be buying him a math text book and he will be spending 8 hours a day studying, all summer long.
He's not allowed outside of the house, except to accompany me or my wife on errands, as he's also not allowed home alone.
Whenever the rest of the family has dessert, he has to watch us eat it. Also, each evening, I make his sisters (ages 17 and 14) and his brother (age 12) tell him about all the summer fun they had that day, so he'll know what he's missing out on.
We are also going on vacation to Hawaii in July and he will not be allowed to come.

What do you think? Is this an appropriate punishment, or am I going overboard? My wife thinks I'm overreacting. She says that I'm being too hard on him and the punishment is borderline cruel. I understand it is a bit harsh, but I feel that it's time to finally put a stop to my son's slacking in math, and teach him a valuable lesson about the importance of good study habits. What do you think? Is this a good punishment, or am I going overboard? Please Help.

Thank you in advance.

Hey buddy,

Solve this:

48÷2(9+3) = ?

Let's see if you know math.

[Jabronie]

Originally Posted by Charles

Hey buddy,

Solve this:

48÷2(9+3) = ?

Let's see if you know math.

lol that's a good one to test, basic principles at work.

Spoiler

48÷2(9+3)
48/2(12)
48/24
2
Right?

I failed all 4 years of HS math and made them up in summer school :P

[sweetchas]

Agrees with everyone on the tutor comment.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by Charles

Solve this:

48÷2(9+3) = ?

Let's see if you know math.

Since all you have to do is put it into google and the answer comes up, you have to tell him to SHOW HIS WORK!

[lauramc27]

This IMO is way overboard. Since you knew math was difficult for him why did you not get proactive and get him a tutor. For some, no amount of studying, even 8 hours, will make them understand. Get him signed up for Summer math or a tutor.

Having his siblings tell him about all of the fun they are having and having him watch you all eat dessert is just cruel and will not teach him anything. Making him stay home on the family vacation will again, not teach him anything.

As his parent, finding a way to help him in his struggles is what you should be doing.

[sweetchas]

Originally Posted by Charles

Hey buddy,

Solve this:

48÷2(9+3) = ?

Let's see if you know math.

PleaseExcuseMyDearAuntSally

Parentheses
Exponents
Multiply
Divide
Add
Subtract



Lol

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by Jabronie

lol that's a good one to test, basic principles at work.

Spoiler

48÷2(9+3)
48/2(12)
48/24
2
Right?

I failed all 4 years of HS math and made them up in summer school :P

Good try, but wrong.

Hint:

Spoiler

The answers to the two problems are multipled together after they are calculated separately.

[trochlearIV]

extremely overboard

[cokatie]

Originally Posted by WWH

Thank you, justin Time. Unfortunately, I can't make him take a summer school math class, as they cut summer school in our district to save money. Believe me, he would be in summer school if it were an option! However, my wife and I are considering hiring a tutor for him. I am concerned about the cost but it will be worth every penny if it gets him to pass math, so I suppose that's what we will do.

I often withhold desserts as a punishment, since my son has a sweet tooth and likes dessert very much. I make him sit and watch the rest of the family eat dessert whenever we have dessert to add to his punishment and remind him of what he is missing out on. I don't think it's cruel at all, just an appropriate punishment for a very serious lack of effort in school. I take school and grades very seriously, and there are consequences for doing poorly in school in our household.

No, my friend, you are being too tough and you're still not going to achieve your goal. Quick story for you: Freshman year high school for me, Algebra class ... I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I just could NOT for the life of me grasp the concept. I still remember the teacher's name and her long red hair. I dreaded walking into that classroom. I was failing. Funny enough there was a teacher's strike that year and all lay teachers walked out. On the first morning of the strike, I went to my Algebra class and who was waiting for us but Sister Edward Thomas. I'm talking an OLD SCHOOL nun. By the end of the second class, it was like a light bulb had gone on for me. I got it! I understood how it worked. It was an absolute BREEZE to me. By the way, when the teachers settled their strike, I went down to the Guidance Department and had myself transferred into the nun's class on a full-time basis!

Your son is not failing on purpose. He hates it as much as you do. More actually, because he feels stupid. Get him a tutor. It'll be money well spent. And if it makes you feel better, have your son do chores which will have a dollar value so that he can "pay down" the cost of the tutor. And listen - get a tutor who comes with recommendations and make sure your son is happy with the tutor and making progress.

Best of luck to you and your son.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Jabronie

lol that's a good one to test, basic principles at work.

Spoiler

48÷2(9+3)
48/2(12)
48/24
2
Right?

I failed all 4 years of HS math and made them up in summer school :P

You are grounded for the entire summer.