My son failed math, so I grounded him for the entire summer. Need parenting help! (teenage, baby)

[Niftybergin]

Originally Posted by jkcoop

I gotta believe that this is some board kid trolling on here because no reasonable parent would punish in this way for failing math - the failure came because the parent wasn't stepping in sooner and getting the child the help that was needed.

Obviously the key word in your statement is "reasonable." The OP's described punishment is not reasonable; ergo, it's hard to believe the parent is reasonable. But not all of us had/have reasonable parents. And not all parents care enough about their kids (or their jobs as parents) to take an active role in parenting. (Beyond being authoritarians, that is.)

You are going to have the kid hating you... you better watch it.

My guess is that there's a history of over-reactive, extreme punishments, etc. and that the kid is already well on the way to hatred.

[fallingwater]

Sometimes this forum scares me. I really hope this is a troll because the thought of some poor kid living with this guy makes me shutter.

[Charles]

Just because someone isn't very bright doesn't mean he can't go on to bigger and better things.

Spoiler

Public domain photo

[wrcousert]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I'm sorry, that's just bizarre. If someone doesn't understand math, withholding dessert won't all of a sudden make them understand.

Agreed. This could be punishing a child for having a disability - a learning disability. Not good parenting if you ask me.

[wrcousert]

Originally Posted by fallingwater

Sometimes this forum scares me. I really hope this is a troll because the thought of some poor kid living with this guy makes me shutter.

I'd hate to think what might happen if this kid had dyslexia.

[Ceece]

New poster + crazy attitude = troll.

I don't know how pathetic someones life has to be to troll the internet but apprently it's common.

[lifelongMOgal]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I think if you "knew he was struggling" why didn't you help him? Grounding doesn't actually "help" him learn math. Maybe a tutor?

This!

The tutor should have been hired as soon as it became apparent that your son was struggling. Now he is just further behind the learning curve and you are making him feel terrible about it. How is that conducive to learning?

Get your son the help he needs with math over the summer so that he is not even further behind next Fall. Contact your son's school for a referral or contact the local college or community college and see if you can hire a graduate student for a couple of days each week through the summer. There may be some online programs or math software he can use to help himself study as well.

[gimme it]

This is obviously a joke. On the off chance it's real, you need serious help, but I know it's just a joke.

[JordanJP]

dude... you're kind of a jerk. just get him a tutor or send him to summer classes somewhere. call his friends' parents and see which of them did well in math, and then have that friend help him out.


If my mom had tried that with me in high school I would try to to better, but I would ignore the punishments and go on about my teenager-ly business.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by WWH

My 15-year-old son just finished his freshman year in high school on Friday. I had known since March that he was struggling in math, so I took away his TV, computer, and video game priveleges until the end of the school year, so he would have more time to study. All year he kept whining about how math was "too hard" and making all sorts of excuses for doing poorly, like that High School was too hard for him and that he was having trouble because it was his first year of high school! I warned him to study, and I told him he'd be grounded all summer if he didn't get good grades on his final report card. He has often gotten bad grades in math, and it is a subject that he was always slacked off in and I am sick of it.

The last straw was on Friday, which was the last day of school in our district. He showed me his final report card, and I was appalled to see that he got an F in math! I told him that he was Grounded For The Entire Summer.

The terms of his grounding are:
No TV
No Computer
No Video Games
No Phone (I also took away his cell phone)
No Friends
No Desserts
No Bedroom Door (I removed it- privacy is a privilege in our household)
Plenty of Extra Chores
No Books except those I or my wife approve. I will be buying him a math text book and he will be spending 8 hours a day studying, all summer long.
He's not allowed outside of the house, except to accompany me or my wife on errands, as he's also not allowed home alone.
Whenever the rest of the family has dessert, he has to watch us eat it. Also, each evening, I make his sisters (ages 17 and 14) and his brother (age 12) tell him about all the summer fun they had that day, so he'll know what he's missing out on.
We are also going on vacation to Hawaii in July and he will not be allowed to come.

What do you think? Is this an appropriate punishment, or am I going overboard? My wife thinks I'm overreacting. She says that I'm being too hard on him and the punishment is borderline cruel. I understand it is a bit harsh, but I feel that it's time to finally put a stop to my son's slacking in math, and teach him a valuable lesson about the importance of good study habits. What do you think? Is this a good punishment, or am I going overboard? Please Help.

Thank you in advance.

This is severe. Even people doing time in jail get an hour outside the cell a day for recreation and there is no rule against socializing with other inmates.