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This is a no judgement zone, so if you are going to judge, please leave.
For as long as I could remember, I was always the practical one, sacrificing my happiness to do what everyone has expected me to do, which is to go to college, etc. But lately, I'm not very happy with college and the college experience for plenty of ....
And before you ask, yes, I've been to therapy, yes, I've tried meds, but they only cover the symptoms and don't get into the root of the problem....
I'm just so sick of trying to do what society expects me to do, which is to go to college, get married, THEN have kids. Should I stay miserable and continue down the path that everyone expects me to do, or do what I want that I'm almost certain will make me happy?
It's not about you, or at least it shouldn't be. Every other word is "me" or "I" and when you have children, it ceases to be about just you. Parenting is about putting your children first, not fulfilling some emotional need that you have. Instead of thinking that the baby will bring you happiness, consider what are you going to bring into this baby's life, an emotionally stable parent? No, obviously not, or you wouldn't be thinking a baby is going to make you happy. ( not that it wouldn't, but it's not going to solve your issues)
In addition, having two parents IS the ideal situation for a child, they learn how to have relationships based on your example, they learn how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man, hopefully they learn about forming loving, lasting relationships...
But you don't even have the patience, or the capability to form a long term loving relationship, how are you going to teach all that to your child?
OP, go through your day or week and EVERY single second, starting before you even wake up in the morning, think to yourself "What would the baby be doing now?" if the baby would be with a sitter or in day care, ask yourself how much it costs for even 1 hour. Add about 7 loads of laundry/week to what you do now, and allow for about 30 minutes every 3-4 hours for feeding, and imagine doing it all exhausted and with the baby crying.
This is a no judgement zone, so if you are going to judge, please leave.
For as long as I could remember, I was always the practical one, sacrificing my happiness to do what everyone has expected me to do, which is to go to college, etc. But lately, I'm not very happy with college and the college experience for plenty of reasons.
Recently, I was accepted into Nursing school, and while I still plan on going to Nursing school, my heart is just no longer into education. Even after all the bad things I have gone through, the thought of becoming a mother and having a baby lights me up. It is the only thought that makes me happy and keeps me going.
And before you ask, yes, I've been to therapy, yes, I've tried meds, but they only cover the symptoms and don't get into the root of the problem.
No, I'm not having a baby for the wrong reasons, and no, I am NOT romanticizing the idea of having a baby. I know they take work, but I'm lucky enough to have the money, love and patience to support a baby, and my school schedule, once the baby is born, will only consist of classes two days a week and plenty of time to work a job to support myself and my baby.
I'm just so sick of trying to do what society expects me to do, which is to go to college, get married, THEN have kids. Should I stay miserable and continue down the path that everyone expects me to do, or do what I want that I'm almost certain will make me happy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
So let me see if I get this right:
In 2009, you were in high school, and worked at McDonald's.
Then, you graduated high school, and have attended two years of local college on a part time basis, and work part time as a front desk office assistant.
You suffer depression severe enough that your doctor put you on meds, and that you, yourself, acknowledge that it's a problem, and that the meds only mask the symptoms but you still suffer the problem.
You're a black woman who believes black men aren't socio-economically equal to you.
You live with your mother.
And you want a baby? Really? And you don't want to be judged? For real?
How about, no.
How about, get over yourself, take your meds, forget about the notion that happiness comes in a dirty diaper. Finish school -or- find a full time job. Move out of your mom's house, experience life as a full-fledged independent adult for a few years. THEN have a baby.
Maybe OP should volunteer to feed her need to take care of others?
I think it's a bad idea to have a baby at this juncture in your life OP.
You are assuming your baby will be in perfect health. Have you ever considered how you would deal with a baby who is sick and in need of constant time and attention, more so than normal. How would you pay for hospital bills, medications, ect. Not to mention you are metally fagile already, imagine how it would break your heart to have an ill baby and not be able to help her/him.
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Why did you start a new thread on the same subject?
