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I think you guys were just in the wrong groups. They are not all like that. I went to some groups that were not for me - and then didn't go back. Instead I found a different group that suited me better. There are other options.
I think you guys were just in the wrong groups. They are not all like that. I went to some groups that were not for me - and then didn't go back. Instead I found a different group that suited me better. There are other options.
And there are groups for different "controversial" parenting styles, too. Find one you fit in with.
I think you guys were just in the wrong groups. They are not all like that. I went to some groups that were not for me - and then didn't go back. Instead I found a different group that suited me better. There are other options.
I agree! My babysitting co-op took in the whole suburban city where I live. There were people living in big houses, little houses, townhouses, etc. AFAIK, few people discriminated against others on where they lived. We were all parents of young children, for the most part young-ish ourselves, and most of us weren't living in McMansions.
I think you guys were just in the wrong groups. They are not all like that. I went to some groups that were not for me - and then didn't go back. Instead I found a different group that suited me better. There are other options.
Right. I just joined a homeschooling group but not because I want to homeschool. They have every type of family from private schooling, to unschooling, to Christian based. That to me says everything I need to know about them: flexible.
I think you guys were just in the wrong groups. They are not all like that. I went to some groups that were not for me - and then didn't go back. Instead I found a different group that suited me better. There are other options.
I agree. The groups I joined were mostly just a way to make it easier for parents to find one another. I'm not a "group" person either, but I also wanted an easy, quick way to meet a lot of other people who were also home with new babies and who were dealing with the same issues, had similar schedules, were similarly sleep-deprived, and who were also wanted some adult conversation (even if it did often revolve around babies, at least in those early months!) I never ran into these cliquey, mean groups. Not to say they aren't out there (obviously some of you have had bad experiences!), but if you DO run into one, just keep looking! Most groups -- or at least the ones that I have encountered, which have been in several cities in different parts of the country -- are just an easy and efficient way to make it easy for new parents (mostly mothers, but not always) to meet a bunch of other new parents. You'll like some people, won't like others, but if the group overall leaves you with a bad taste, just try out some other options.
If you already have a wide circle of friends or family in the area, particularly those with young babies you might not need to bother with a group, but they can be a great resource for those of us who don't have that built-in support. Suddenly being home alone all day with a young baby can be very isolating. Being able to spend a couple of hours with other new parents and their babies can be very comforting. Those new parents are also the ones most likely to have similar schedules.
yup, finding the right group is like going on the dating round again. You may find some groups that just don't fit your needs. You might find a group that doesn't fit your personality. You might just find a bad egg. YOu might start wondering if you'll ever find what you're looking for!
But as with anything via relationships, (and yes, a parenting group *is* a relationship in a sense) you gotta test drive some until you find the right match. And when you find it, it was worth that frustration in the beginning
When our first child was about 9 mos old, I joined "Mothers & More" in the area which we were living at the time. It was a great way to meet new mom's and just have that socialization that you can sometimes lack as a stay at home parent. We were new to that area at the time and it was really more of a way to meet other people, not so much for the babies at the time because they were obviously too young to know....
I did try a MOPS group at one point, but that particular one was heavily based on religion and it just wasn't my thing... no offense to anyone, just wasn't what I was looking for at the time.
I am getting ready for the arrival of our first child in September and in some of the baby books they seem to recommend joining parent groups in your community. I am somewhat hesitant of this because in my local community, the parents seem a bit competitive and somewhat judgmental. Granted it is upscale suburbia outside of DC so I guess it matches the demographic. I am all for kids playing together but does anyone have any tips? I will be going back to work after my five month maternity leave so if I do join a group, should I focus on one for working professionals and not stay at home moms?
I am so new to this that I really don't know what to look for, what could be a bad sign with a group and which parents to avoid. I have already had some issues with parents in my neighborhood being a bit to pushy with their advice with my pregnancy so I am not confident that it will be any different once the baby is here.
"Mommy meetings" (as my son called them) are fine for what they are. They're a chance to connect with women who are at the same point in life that you are, and who probably have kids who are similar ages. I've met two of my dear friends through them; otoh I've also run into some of the most amazing displays of bad teen drama from 40yo women that you'd ever have the misfortune to run across (well, outside of PTA board meetings, anyway).
If you do join one, and intend to return to work, join something that isn't all SAHMs. Not because life will be one big explanation of your choices (though it may), but because groups geared toward SAHMs meet mostly during weekday hours, when presumably you're not available. IME, Mothers & More (which refers to "sequencing", the idea that women will eventually return to the workforce) is more working-mom-friendly than MOMS or MOPS, but you may have a different experience. http://www.mothersandmore.org/ (Disclaimer: I don't currently belong, but when we made three interstate moves in just a few years, it was a godsend.)
My only other suggestion is that if you join one, stay away from taking a board position, and stick to Mom's Night Outs and playgroups, and you'll avoid most of the weirdness.
Meetup is a great way to find parenting groups. The ones I've joined have all had a nice mix of mothers (and some fathers). Never heard of Mothers and More, but it also sounds like it's worth a look. Meetup groups are usually pretty casual and very local, although I suppose there can be a huge range.
Well when my son was 1.5 I was in Tx ( I am a california girl but my ex was military so we were stationed there)
And I joined a play group on base since I did not know anyone and wanted to meet other mothers as well have socialization for my son since I did not intend to put him in Preschool...
As a pre-k teacher myself I could not see anything negative there...There was many teachable moments, such as the concept of sharing, language learning to play well with others and the bonus, getting to know moms and trade tips and just enjoy being around adults...I say go for it and try it out!
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And there are groups for different "controversial" parenting styles, too. Find one you fit in with.
