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Old 06-16-2011, 10:44 AM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,574,109 times
Reputation: 8284

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I'm literally the ONLY person on both sides of my family who is over the age of 25 and doesnt have any children, and quite frankly, i'm very happy about it.

I'm currently 32yrs old and in a commited relationship with a woman who is 8yrs my elder who currently has a 19yr old son and is also not interested in having another child. When my family asks me why I dont want any children, my response is "in my opinion, the cons outweigh the pro's". From a financial standpoint, having a child puts a heavy strain on your finances. Although we both make a pretty good living, I prefer to keep my money and spend it on things that we both enjoy doing. We vacation 3-4 times a year. Eat out a few times a week. If a time comes when we're at home and just want to spontaniously get into the car and take a ride somewhere, we have the privilage of doing so. etc... I very much enjoy the freedom of not being obligated to care for a child. The funny thing is, the family members who are most vocal about my decision to not have children are the ones who are ALWAYS complaining about thier kids and saying how hard it is to raise a child. They criticize me for my decision, yet it also seems as if they envy me at the same time. They constantly say things like "you're going to be a lonely old man with no kids to come visit you".

All in all, i'm content with not having children at the moment, and dont see myself wanting to have any ever.
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:46 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,577 posts, read 47,641,955 times
Reputation: 48219
okay
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,254 posts, read 64,347,350 times
Reputation: 73932
Kids are tough, expensive, and not for everyone.
Then again, so are my dogs...*sigh*

Op, I applaud you for knowing yourself and not getting coerced into something that's not for you.

As a guy, you have TONS of time to change your mind if you really want to.
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Over There
402 posts, read 1,406,194 times
Reputation: 779
Cool Have what you want and want what you have.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deevel79 View Post
. . . I'm currently 32yrs old and in a commited relationship with a woman who is 8yrs my elder who currently has a 19yr old son . . . All in all, i'm content with not having children at the moment, and dont see myself wanting to have any ever.
Is it really so bad that they think that you are weird? If you don't want kids, then don't have kids.
If you want to be a great uncle and step-father, that works too.
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:55 AM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,574,109 times
Reputation: 8284
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Kids are tough, expensive, and not for everyone.
Then again, so are my dogs...*sigh*

Op, I applaud you for knowing yourself and not getting coerced into something that's not for you.

As a guy, you have TONS of time to change your mind if you really want to.
I'm actually looking into a dog. I'd much rather care for a dog than a child. I can leave a bowl of food and water out for the dog at home while at work all day and not get arrested for it. LOL.
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:00 AM
 
2,718 posts, read 5,357,549 times
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By answering questions with "the pros outweigh the cons" invites further inquiry and perhaps debate. Why not just say "it's a personal decision that I'm not going to discuss"? If they continue to tell you that you'll be a lonely old man then just say "thanks for your concern but the decision is mine to make and I won't be discussing this any further."
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:16 AM
 
Location: La Jolla, CA
7,284 posts, read 16,679,746 times
Reputation: 11675
Quote:
Originally Posted by deevel79 View Post
I'm literally the ONLY person on both sides of my family who is over the age of 25 and doesnt have any children, and quite frankly, i'm very happy about it.

I'm currently 32yrs old and in a commited relationship with a woman who is 8yrs my elder who currently has a 19yr old son and is also not interested in having another child. When my family asks me why I dont want any children, my response is "in my opinion, the cons outweigh the pro's". From a financial standpoint, having a child puts a heavy strain on your finances. Although we both make a pretty good living, I prefer to keep my money and spend it on things that we both enjoy doing. We vacation 3-4 times a year. Eat out a few times a week. If a time comes when we're at home and just want to spontaniously get into the car and take a ride somewhere, we have the privilage of doing so. etc... I very much enjoy the freedom of not being obligated to care for a child. The funny thing is, the family members who are most vocal about my decision to not have children are the ones who are ALWAYS complaining about thier kids and saying how hard it is to raise a child. They criticize me for my decision, yet it also seems as if they envy me at the same time. They constantly say things like "you're going to be a lonely old man with no kids to come visit you".

All in all, i'm content with not having children at the moment, and dont see myself wanting to have any ever.
Just tell them you have no interest in children. IMO, giving existing parents a "cost to benefit" analysis of having children, is going to immediately challenge them to come up with reasons why you are missing some magical factor that would somehow make it more desirable for you.

I have had this discussion numerous times. I DON'T WANT CHILDREN. Just not my thing. I don't object to others wanting them, just like they have no business objecting to your desire NOT to have them.
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:17 AM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,574,109 times
Reputation: 8284
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
By answering questions with "the pros outweigh the cons" invites further inquiry and perhaps debate. Why not just say "it's a personal decision that I'm not going to discuss"? If they continue to tell you that you'll be a lonely old man then just say "thanks for your concern but the decision is mine to make and I won't be discussing this any further."
I think I kind've get a kick out of debating with them though. Mostly for the fact that the family members (all women) who are most vocal about my decision are the ones who seem most miserable and always complaining about things pertaining to thier children. So when I hear this, I say "that is why I dont want any children".
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:19 AM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,574,109 times
Reputation: 8284
Quote:
Originally Posted by 43north87west View Post
Just tell them you have no interest in children. IMO, giving existing parents a "cost to benefit" analysis of having children, is going to immediately challenge them to come up with reasons why you are missing some magical factor that would somehow make it more desirable for you.

I have had this discussion numerous times. I DON'T WANT CHILDREN. Just not my thing. I don't object to others wanting them, just like they have no business objecting to your desire NOT to have them.
At work when women ask and I tell them I dont have any children nor do I want any, they seem to get offended. I never understood that!
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:44 AM
 
14,780 posts, read 43,678,860 times
Reputation: 14622
Not another one of these...

Look, are you comfortable and happy with your decision? If so, then why let it bother you. You and your partner are on the same page, so who is anyone to tell you any different. However, you do need to realize that choosing not to have children places you in an extreme minority of the population. Not that it matters one bit, it's still your choice, but it is "odd" in the sense that it isn't that common.

I can't help but feel that with you and other people who come here discussing their child free choice that there is some latent aspect of insecurity about the choice. Like you feel that it is the right choice for you and can spout off a hundred reasons why from being too selfish to financial issues, etc. Yet, it still seems like there is a part of you that doubts your choice.

You could ask me why did I have children and I could give you my personal reasons and go about my day without a second thought. Yet, someone questioning you as to why you don't want children leaves you searching for a way to justify the choice you made to yourself.

I'm not going to give you anymore affirmation other than saying, if you're happy with your choice, than it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If people ask you why, stick to a simple answer and leave out the rigid pro and con analysis which will only challenge people to disprove your thesis.
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