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My dd is almost 11 so I figured I better explain to her about getting her period and all. I bought the books from American Girl to have as a back up! So I tell her last night in kind of a matter of fact way (my mother had never told me anything but just handed me a book!) so anyway my daughter was totally not interested! Didn't ask any questions and really didn't want to hear about it! I left the books in her room for when she is ready and reminded me to come ask me if she has any questions later. I was really surprised by her reaction and couldn't believe she wasn't more curious! I guess I was 12 when my mom gave me my book plus we had a movie in school. Anyone elses' daughter have this reaction?
No doubt she has already been fully (if not erroneously) informed by her peers, since you have left this information rather late.
I started talking to my kids about sex and reproduction at age 8. I wanted to get in there before they became pre-teens who are more likely to be embarrassed by such conversations and want to shut down.
I agree with Zentropa - your daughter was probably totally embarrassed, hence her apparent lack of interest, and besides she probably knows all about it by now. No doubt there are girls in her class at school who have already started their periods. 8 or 9 would have been a better age to start having talks.
The main thing is that she now has the book, which may help to correct any incorrect information she has collected along the way. In your shoes, I probably wouldn't broach the subject again for a while - let her come to you if she has any questions.
I agree with zentropa, she's acting like this because she already heard via the grapevine. Your job now is to figure out what she has been told, and answer any questions.
No doubt she has already been fully (if not erroneously) informed by her peers, since you have left this information rather late.
I started talking to my kids about sex and reproduction at age 8. I wanted to get in there before they became pre-teens who are more likely to be embarrassed by such conversations and want to shut down.
I think you have done all you can at this stage.
Age 8 seems a bit early to me. 10-11 seems to be a good age for these things. That is about the age where these things start happening to them. It will make more sense to them at that age. At 8, the kids are just that. Still kids. I will probably wait until 10-11 myself, unless dd is a super early developer like me.
Age 8 seems a bit early to me. 10-11 seems to be a good age for these things. That is about the age where these things start happening to them. It will make more sense to them at that age. At 8, the kids are just that. Still kids. I will probably wait until 10-11 myself, unless dd is a super early developer like me.
DD is 8, and we had the talk this year. The reasons why we did it now are two-fold, DS is 10, and we needed to do it with him, and I know he would share the information with his sister, but also many girls in DD's class were developing, and they had been given the talk. I wanted DD to get the correct information from me and not via the grapevine.
I swear I must have grown up in a bubble. I never got a talk. I wasn't handed a book. There wasn't even information floating around on a grapevine. I did have a health class in 8th grade that for one class the boys and girls were separated and we watched a video, but that was it.
How the heck am I going to handle this when it is my turn? I was never on the receiving end of one of those talks. Oh well. I have a couple of years to figure it out.
We started talking about all of these things way early, in an age appropriate fashion. My daughter is doggedly curious and not embarrassed to talk about things so as soon as she started asking questions I started giving her answers. The day I explained the mechanics of sex she was appalled by the thought, but we have had many discussions since then. She's still appalled, but not quite so freaked out about it.
She's 12 now and here's an example of a conversation we had just the other day.
DD: Mom, what's masturbation?
Me: Can't we wait on this one? I'm not sure you're really ready to hear about it.
DD: No. Tell me.
Me: Really honey. We can talk about it when you're a bit older.
DD: Mooooom. What is it? Tell me.
Me: OK, but you're gonna say, "Whaaaaat?"
DD: Tell me anyway.
Me: Masturbation is when people touch themselves in a sexual way because it feels good.
DD: (silence)
Me: Well?
DD: I'm trying not to say what you said I'd say.
Me: Told you.
Then later in the car she brought it up again, seeking more information and I pretty much repeated what I'd said earlier. I can tell she's digesting the info and will come back with more questions later.
I just believe that knowledge is power and when she's old enough to wonder about things she's ready for some straight-forward information.
I just believe that knowledge is power and when she's old enough to wonder about things she's ready for some straight-forward information.
I believe in this as well. I actually don't hold much back from dd. I completely agree that if they are old enough to wonder, they are old enough for the truth.
I believe in this as well. I actually don't hold much back from dd. I completely agree that if they are old enough to wonder, they are old enough for the truth.
We actually started the discussion way earlier than 8. There are great age-appropriate books out there. "It's Not The Stork" is a great starter book for the 4 and over crowd, and gives just the right answers to the question. Another one we used was "It's So Amazing", and I think that's for 7 and up. Having ongoing discussions means that when they are ready for the big talk, you have already covered a lot, and they are not inhibited to talk to you about it.
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