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Old 06-21-2011, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,004 posts, read 539,065 times
Reputation: 1227

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Just a quick thought.....

I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.

First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.

On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.

I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:29 PM
 
1,460 posts, read 1,703,013 times
Reputation: 1400
You have the option of leaving at anytime...dont like the setting, leave. You live under there roof and they provide for your ungrateful ars..live by their rules...or leave.

Not really that complicated, their entitlement leaves the second you do, live it up.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:30 PM
 
5,682 posts, read 8,702,360 times
Reputation: 7840
When I lived in my Parents house:

Their rules.


When I moved out:

My rules.


End statement.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,004 posts, read 539,065 times
Reputation: 1227
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnPaul View Post
You have the option of leaving at anytime...dont like the setting, leave. You live under there roof and they provide for your ungrateful ars..live by their rules...or leave.

Not really that complicated, their entitlement leaves the second you do, live it up.
Seems you did not read the entire post, yet just took your parental view based on the thread title. I implore you to read through it again.

And for the record, preteens absolutely cannot leave at anytime. Get a clue.

FYI, I'm 27; practice patent law and all paid for by MY money and handwork. I haven't lived under my parents roof since turning 17.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 34,412,568 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Seems you did not read the entire post, yet just took your parental view based on the thread title. I implore you to read through it again.

And for the record, preteens absolutely cannot leave at anytime. Get a clue.

FYI, I'm 27; practice patent law and all paid for by MY money and handwork. I haven't lived under my parents roof since turning 17.
That's great. When you're at home, do what you want to do, however you want to do it. When you're in your parents' home, respect their home.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 34,412,568 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Just a quick thought.....

I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.

First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.

On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.

I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

You sound like a real p@ndejo.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 1,819,486 times
Reputation: 1747
My parents gave me life and the ability to succeed in life. That alone obliges me to give them honor and respect.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,986 posts, read 53,828,965 times
Reputation: 72185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Vanderburgh View Post
My parents gave me life and the ability to succeed in life. That alone obliges me to give them honor and respect.
This.

Besides...good luck getting respect from people who saw you poop your pants...and cleaned it up.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:46 PM
 
6,143 posts, read 6,547,490 times
Reputation: 6566
When I was young and got upset, I would hold my breath until I passed out. I figure I still owe my parents a little respect.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:46 PM
 
946 posts, read 2,571,086 times
Reputation: 1077
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
... but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.
That's a rather cynical view, but it's your opinion and you have your ideas to back it up, so I respect it. I see it rather differently. Some parents do go to extremes in parenting, but, I think that as their children and them being our elders, we do owe them a certain level of respect right off the bat. Also, I would never charge my own parents for any type of favor I am doing them, professional or not,...that seems rather extreme to me .
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