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Unread 07-05-2011, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,481,899 times
Reputation: 2348
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
I think you're jumping to conclusions again. What does renting have to do with anything? Plenty of highly educated, wealthy people find that it makes more sense -- including financially -- to rent, not own. And being a good parent does not require home ownership. Sorry, bit of a tangent, but that really irked me. (that's coming from someone who rents, has a graduate degree, is well-traveled, and has no plans on buying anytime soon. I enjoy the freedom it offers, among other benefits.)

Of course it's okay for someone in their 20s not to have immediate plans to have kids. It's also fine if you NEVER want to have kids, or if you choose to have them next year. Whatever works for YOU. And I think the average age of first-time mothers is hovering somewhere around 26 (or maybe 25?) these days, so you're VERY normal.

I still don't understand why their comments are bothering you so much. Why does it matter what they think? You're not going to change their minds, so why not just concentrate on not letting it bug you? Where are you meeting all these people, anyway? Supplement with some new friends and you should start to feel normal in no time.
Herein lies the problem, OP - we're back to the condescending tone and "my choices are better than your choices" attitude being communicated through your posts again. I wonder how much of that is just internet forum venting and how much you communicate to the people who are pressuring you to start a family. Perhaps they are just defending themselves against your not so concealed judgment? As several posters pointed out, your dreams are great - but no more or less valid than anyone else's.

The snappy comebacks only work if you really can deliver them without judgment - otherwise they're going to seem petty and mean-spirited.

 
Unread 07-05-2011, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Texas
958 posts, read 984,070 times
Reputation: 1263
Just my 2 cents...

I'm a 38 year old mother of 4.
I am a college student (full time) pursuing a psychology degree.
I am married.
I have 3 dogs.
I have no debt.
I have my own business as well.
My husband has a great career.
I have everything I need, and much more than I could want.

I could give a hoot what other people are doing, and how and when they choose to do them. I lost a very important person in my life this past November. It was SO not her time to go, and thankfully the last thing I said to her before she died (which coincidentally was moments before she passed away) was I love you, and take care. I carry that with me every single day, knowing that life is unpredictable and short, and all those damn judgements, snarky comments, and entitled feelings don't mean SH**. Get over it. If Bobbie Sue wants to have a baby or 3, work at Rite Aid while husband pulls doubles at Pizza Hut, who the hell are you to say it's any less signifcant than your dream? I doubt they're losing sleep over you.

I'll tell you what I tell my kids when they are fighting: Worry about yourself.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Andersonville, Chicago
6,931 posts, read 6,230,899 times
Reputation: 4464
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyMominRI View Post
No contractions, but I was around 2 CM at my doctors apt 2 days before. First sign of active labor was my water breaking. A little more than 4 hours later my daughter was born. With my second child my water broke at around 1 AM. I went to the hospital and he was born at 3.30. It was a natural delivery because my labor was too quick for an epidural.
With my last child, it was imperative that I deliver in a hospital for certain reasons. I went to the hospital and they tried to induce. It did nothing at all. I told the doctor that he should break my water and the baby would come. He did and decided to go get dinner. I tried to warn him he shouldn't go far. I delivered just over an hour later. My doctor didn't make it in time,lol. They had to get someone else
Sorry this is way OT

Gosh, Im jealous!
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 07:51 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,450,455 times
Reputation: 667
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckynumber4 View Post
Oh jeez I honestly think you're searching for a reason to be offended. Wouldya calm down, breathe and READ CAREFULLY please?
I've concluded that it's a personal issue and have tried my best to ignore her lol.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Andersonville, Chicago
6,931 posts, read 6,230,899 times
Reputation: 4464
I waited ( or waisted ) 8 years to have a kid after I got married. My son was born when
I was 29. ( 5 years ago ) .Last year I finally decided to go back to school to become a PTA ( Physical Therapy Assistant). Im on my second year now.
As of right now I am hopefully pregnant with my 2:nd child and I am still in school!!
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 08:06 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 810,624 times
Reputation: 1882
Quote:
Originally Posted by BingCherry View Post
I've concluded that it's a personal issue and have tried my best to ignore her lol.
I just don't think you realize how rude and condescending you come off.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 08:07 AM
 
769 posts, read 710,201 times
Reputation: 2073
[quote=BingCherry;19875873]

And yes---it IS sad when someone could have done something with their life but they put themselves in a position where they were stuck with all the babies they had.

Wow, what a view to have. So you think it is a waste to be only a mom. I do not have a career. I am married and gasp, yes I have 2 kids. I most certainly do not feel that I could have done something with my life but didn't because I had all these babies. Having kids IS what I wanted to do with my life. I do not feel stuck. I do not want a career. I wanted to be a mom, so that is what I did. I don't think that people who choose a career wasted their lives by not wanting kids either. Just do what is best for you and not worry or care so much about what other people think.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 08:18 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,450,455 times
Reputation: 667
Not sure who just gave me nice rep, but thank you! It doesn't show your username--but thanks for the reps people.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: here
15,946 posts, read 11,940,926 times
Reputation: 12122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
You don't know anything about any of us. Two people you put down for using the term "mom" have turned out to be moms to animals. Now it's true that most, but not all, people who post on this forum have kids. I have two. I had them at ages 34 and 38, not young. I had a degree and 13 years of a career, and a house before I had my kids. So no, not all of us are jealous of you.

Regarding you being a f***up like us, you really need an attitude adjustment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Just wanted to say good morning to my fellow f*** ups!
come on guys. I don't think she was talking about US. She was talking about people she knows personally who, in person, ask her why she's not married yet.
 
Unread 07-05-2011, 08:31 AM
Status: "Maple tree is leafing out!" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
65,617 posts, read 51,934,512 times
Reputation: 17979
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
You don't know anything about any of us. Two people you put down for using the term "mom" have turned out to be moms to animals. Now it's true that most, but not all, people who post on this forum have kids. I have two. I had them at ages 34 and 38, not young. I had a degree and 13 years of a career, and a house before I had my kids. So no, not all of us are jealous of you.

Regarding you being a f***up like us, you really need an attitude adjustment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckynumber4 View Post
Oh jeez I honestly think you're searching for a reason to be offended. Wouldya calm down, breathe and READ CAREFULLY please?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BingCherry View Post
I've concluded that it's a personal issue and have tried my best to ignore her lol.

1. Searching for a reason when she called a lot of us f***ups? I'm sorry, I don't take that kind of talk from anyone, including my kids.

2. Re: the response, I think the OP is projecting.

3. FWIW, I got a rep for my initial post in that conversation.
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