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I see a major shift in parenting. Parents didn't used to hover over their kids. They used to let them be kids. Now parents sweat every detail. The only thing I can come up with is we have way too much free time on our hands these days. Got a better suggestion?
Not true for me. My mom hovered. It was annoying. I don't hover. Granted my kids aren't allowed to roam the town, but they are given freedom.
Not true for me. My mom hovered. It was annoying. I don't hover. Granted my kids aren't allowed to roam the town, but they are given freedom.
The usual "not me" post.
You do realize that your one instance doesn't disprove the rule, right?
When I was a kid, it was the rare parent who volunteered at the school or called the teachers to check on grades or fix them. Now we seem to have a mompetition going on. Kids are hovered over and not left to play on their own as MOST kids were in my day. When my dd was in elementary school, on a day projects were due, you could count on a line of moms coming in to deliver the project THEY just finished for their special snowflake. Did I have friends with hover moms when I was a kid? Yes. There were two girls across the street who had a hover mom, however, they were the unusual ones. Now being a hover parent seems to be the norm. It's almost a badge of honor to say "I SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY KID THAN YOU!". In the WOH/SAH debate this is often the fall back position for the SAHM's. Yet, we're all spending more time on our kids than our foremothers.
Our kids don't need this. It appears, to me, that parents have too much time on their hands. Today, a full time working mom spends more time with her chlidren than a 1970's stay at home mom did (and she spent more than a 1950's stay at home mom did) and a stay at home mom today spends even more time with hers. You have to stop and ask yourself why. Obviously, our kids didn't need this increase in parental time. Parents in the 1950's raised one of the greatest generations this country has seen WITHOUT hovering and without that extra time. Sadly, I think we're hurting our kids not helping them by devoting more time to them.
Depending on the age of your child, I just don't think it works that way much anymore.
NOW, they are attending soccer practices 3 towns over with a 45 minute drive each way.
They are on travel teams (insert sport name here) and entire families spend week-end after week-end out of town attending said sport event.
Moms are spending lots of time chauffering to/from these time-consuming and far away practices.
It's just different now - everythings been 'kicked up' a notch for all of us Moms, working or not.
So, yeah, parenting consumes our whole life now and kids have less free time; they are very structured ~ especially if they are into organized sports or any team-type activity
Over scheduling is part of this. My point is that maybe it's time to kick it down a notch. To go back to letting our kids play outside until the street lights come on.
Unfortunately, I do see not playing this game as having negative consequences for kids. Dd#2 has been unable to find a sport to play in high school. Because all of the other kids have been cheering, playing soccer, doing gymnastics, playing footbal, playing baseball, playing volley ball, etc, etc, etc...since they were 2, she can't make the teams. Still, I don't regret not spending her childhood going from one activity to another. I just wish high schools had more entry level sports for the kids who didn't pick one at 3. Dd#1 has been able to play high school sports because she attends the school I teach at which is small and has plenty of opportunities for kids who didn't start playing at 3. Dd#2 will have to pick a sport and take lessons for a year. Fortunately, she's highly gifted so, if nothing else, she'll have early graduation and her GPA to fall back on. It would be nice if she also had organized sports on her college applications but I'm not seeing that happening this year. Unfortunately, the only sport open to her is the one she doesn't want because it's "not cool" (which is why it's open to her. It's swimming.)
LOL, somebodynew, you're clearly barking up the wrong tree here .
Apparently no amount of non-hovering parenting or 'meaningful work' can instill a sense of humour into someone born without one...
Are snide side comments your only contribution here?
No, this has nothing to do with a lack of a sense of humor. I don't find what we're doing to our kids one bit funny. I think we're stealing their childhoods for some mompetition and I think that is wrong.
Our kids don't need this. It appears, to me, that parents have too much time on their hands. Today, a full time working mom spends more time with her chlidren than a 1970's stay at home mom did (and she spent more than a 1950's stay at home mom did) and a stay at home mom today spends even more time with hers. You have to stop and ask yourself why. Obviously, our kids didn't need this increase in parental time. Parents in the 1950's raised one of the greatest generations this country has seen WITHOUT hovering and without that extra time. Sadly, I think we're hurting our kids not helping them by devoting more time to them.
the usual posting dribble with absolutely no proof.
Thanks to decades of detailed data, we know that the leading cause of severe injury and death in children is accidents or unintentional injury. We are a lot more aware of safety precautions, supervision being one. There is a middle ground of course, but I prefer to think we have evolved from the mentality of accepting the accompanying risk that comes with competely unsupervised children.
To each their own.
If children are placed into a safe environement and taught basic safety rules, they don't need hovering. Supervision doesn't mean interaction time. More often than not, when I picked my kids up from day care, the dcp's (when they were in a center) were talking to each other while the kids played. Ditto for our dcp when our kids were in a home daycare. She just was talking to family members, other parents or one child while the others played. She had a big yard that was set up for kids. Her house was set up for them too.
Obviously, I'm talking school aged kids when I'm saying let them play outside until the street lights come on and yes, sometimes that results in kids getting hurt. My dd spent three days in the hospital because she jumped off of the top of the monkey bars. That accident, however, would have happened with me there or not. By the time she jumped, it would have been too late to say "don't do that". (she clipped her elbow on the way down and broke her arm clean through).
It would be interesting to see if there are less emergency room visits now than when I was a kid. (I had two, one for an injury while unsupervised that would have happened anyway (I learned about conservation of momentum that day.) if I had been supervised and one while I was in gym class). I have a feeling we wouldn't see less injuries and, possibly, could see more as kids who are hovered over aren't going to be learning how to make good decisions when it comes to keeping themselves safe.
the usual posting dribble with absolutely no proof.
You're free to debate this. If you think it's dribble, post your reasons. I never said I have proof here. I've been very clear this is speculation. If you don't agree, debate the topic. Explain why you think I'm wrong.
When I was a kid and my parents felt the need to repeat lectures to my sibling and I, they would sometimes, only half in jest, refer to their standard lectures by number. For example, lecture #3 chastised us to keep our rooms clean, and #4 was about fighting. Saved time.
You're free to debate this. If you think it's dribble, post your reasons. I never said I have proof here. I've been very clear this is speculation. If you don't agree, debate the topic. Explain why you think I'm wrong.
Provide proof that a working mother in 2011 spends more time with her children than a stay at home mom did in the 1970s. I would really like to see factual evidence of this, not your anecdotal my mommy didn't spend time with me, so therefore no stay at home mom's spend time with their kids crap that you usually spew.
Because I don't see how a woman working 40+ hours a week could possibly spend more time than a mom who stays home with her kids...
If children are placed into a safe environement and taught basic safety rules, they don't need hovering. Supervision doesn't mean interaction time. More often than not, when I picked my kids up from day care, the dcp's (when they were in a center) were talking to each other while the kids played. Ditto for our dcp when our kids were in a home daycare. She just was talking to family members, other parents or one child while the others played. She had a big yard that was set up for kids. Her house was set up for them too.
Obviously, I'm talking school aged kids when I'm saying let them play outside until the street lights come on and yes, sometimes that results in kids getting hurt. My dd spent three days in the hospital because she jumped off of the top of the monkey bars. That accident, however, would have happened with me there or not. By the time she jumped, it would have been too late to say "don't do that". (she clipped her elbow on the way down and broke her arm clean through).
It would be interesting to see if there are less emergency room visits now than when I was a kid. (I had two, one for an injury while unsupervised that would have happened anyway (I learned about conservation of momentum that day.) if I had been supervised and one while I was in gym class). I have a feeling we wouldn't see less injuries and, possibly, could see more as kids who are hovered over aren't going to be learning how to make good decisions when it comes to keeping themselves safe.
Deaths from car accidents, fell nearly 48% between 1970 and now.
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The usual "not me" post. 
Obviously, our kids didn't need this increase in parental time. Parents in the 1950's raised one of the greatest generations this country has seen WITHOUT hovering and without that extra time. Sadly, I think we're hurting our kids not helping them by devoting more time to them.
