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Old 10-08-2011, 04:13 PM
 
8,241 posts, read 9,887,753 times
Reputation: 3539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
My honor student is going to call BS on that article.
Um, mine, too. All 3.

 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:16 PM
 
8,241 posts, read 9,887,753 times
Reputation: 3539
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Well, maybe your daughter did. (See "Boy Crazy" thread.) One of the number one reasons teenaged girls seek inappropriate attention from boys is because they're lacking attention at home. Not that I want to retort to your methods of debate, but it's food for thought.
Wow, that's not nice. I don't agree with 100% of any poster on CD, and especially on this thread, but going around looking up old posts is kind of stalker and mean girl. Who cares what she - or anyone - says? I certainly don't take it personally that someone thinks I care more about money than time with my kids. If they really knew me, they'd realize how silly that was. I surely wouldn't go snooping through old posts to find something that lets me "win'.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
2,019 posts, read 1,402,232 times
Reputation: 2365
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
Wow, that's not nice. I don't agree with 100% of any poster on CD, and especially on this thread, but going around looking up old posts is kind of stalker and mean girl. Who cares what she - or anyone - says? I certainly don't take it personally that someone thinks I care more about money than time with my kids. If they really knew me, they'd realize how silly that was. I surely wouldn't go snooping through old posts to find something that lets me "win'.
it was mean. Ivory, I'm sorry, it was uncalled for and I do need to watch myself sometimes- I had been reading an old post of mine that had been brought to my attention and stumbled on that thread. My apologies.

With that being said, my point still stands... the way your kids are going to turn out isn't solely based on whether you work or SAH. Just because one stays at home or actually WANTS to spend time with their kids does NOT mean they're a hover, over involved parent. That type of 'all or nothing' attitude is rather offensive... and I say this all as a working parent.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:34 PM
 
8,241 posts, read 9,887,753 times
Reputation: 3539
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
it was mean. Ivory, I'm sorry, it was uncalled for and I do need to watch myself sometimes- I had been reading an old post of mine that had been brought to my attention and stumbled on that thread. My apologies.

.
That was nice of you to apologize.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:37 PM
 
9,950 posts, read 13,602,552 times
Reputation: 5948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Prove it's beneficial. Where's the benefit of extra time with kids? How has this time improved outcomes? If it was needed, it should be very easy to show improved outcomes because of this extra time.

Seriously, as a teacher, I see kids, every day, who lack the self confidence to even turn a paper in to me for grading without someone's approval. I've started asking my students "Would you like me to pregrade this?" when they try to get me to pre-read and comment on their reports. THEY need to learn to do things on their own. I see them as, almost, crippled by the need for someone elses approval. And Lord help them if they get a low grade. Self esteem crashes. Our kids are so stressed out. They've been competing in this sport and that sport and for grades with their parents pushing them pretty much from the cradle! They need breathing room. I wish kids were like my dd. She'll come to me and tell me she got a bad grade and she'll tell me her plan for pulling her grade up. It's a problem to be fixed but she doesn't stress out over it because she knows I'm not looking over her shoulder. She doesn't need me to pregrade things for her or even help her as she's been doing them on her own for years. My students, obviously, have not been. I see all of this time as resulting in kids needing approval to function. IMO, there is something to be said for kicking the kids out of the house and letting them figure out on their own that jumping off of the monkey bars lands you in the hospital on their own.... Let them skin their knees and figure out how to get up on their own. Don't coach them to get good grades. Don't fix it for them when they have a problem. Let them fix it.
Haven't read all the thread, but what does this have to do with whether or not a parent works? What in the world does employment status have to do with what kind of parenting style a parent adheres to? I've certainly spent enough time around enough parents to realize that whether a mother works or not (and why does it ALWAYS have to be just the mothers that we talk about?) has no bearing on whether or not she's the kind of parent that you seem to be complaining about, or whether or not she has kids who need constant direction and parental/teacher approval?
 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:40 PM
 
1,321 posts, read 822,801 times
Reputation: 2344
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
Wow, that's not nice. I don't agree with 100% of any poster on CD, and especially on this thread, but going around looking up old posts is kind of stalker and mean girl. Who cares what she - or anyone - says? I certainly don't take it personally that someone thinks I care more about money than time with my kids. If they really knew me, they'd realize how silly that was. I surely wouldn't go snooping through old posts to find something that lets me "win'.
I think it was well-deserved in this case. When someone assumes they have the right to judge and tell other people how to raise their kids or that they're doing it wrong, with the stance that their own preferred method of parenting is the superior one, it should only be fair to expect that that person's own kids should not be having glaring problems. It's not about whether we agree with her - you're allowed to have an opinion on how to raise your own kids - your own being the operative word here. It's when you start questioning other people's ways and bringing in faux-scientific "proof" that I personally start getting ticked off.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 04:45 PM
 
573 posts, read 593,361 times
Reputation: 412
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
I think it was well-deserved in this case. When someone assumes they have the right to judge and tell other people how to raise their kids or that they're doing it wrong, with the stance that their own preferred method of parenting is the superior one, it should only be fair to expect that that person's own kids should not be having glaring problems. It's not about whether we agree with her - you're allowed to have an opinion on how to raise your own kids - your own being the operative word here. It's when you start questioning other people's ways and bringing in faux-scientific "proof" that I personally start getting ticked off.
^^^ I'm with you. I don't care whether people work, or don't work, the only thing that matters to me how my kids turn out, but I will be damned if I allow someone to tell me that what I does is insignificant or isn't a good example for my children.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 05:14 PM
 
8,688 posts, read 4,600,483 times
Reputation: 8416
I'm sorry but are you really posting an ungraded college term paper as evidence of anything? In a standard English class not even a child development one?

It doesn't even use actual research to make the majority of its "points.

I do not understand what this link is supposed to be evidence for.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 05:32 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
9,206 posts, read 3,967,898 times
Reputation: 7889
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I'm sorry but are you really posting an ungraded college term paper as evidence of anything? In a standard English class not even a child development one?

It doesn't even use actual research to make the majority of its "points.

I do not understand what this link is supposed to be evidence for.
Well, I would SAY that it was supposed to be evidence that children of Working Mom's do not do as well in school.

As we know, this is clearly incorrect.

Shall I scan my son's scholar/athlete award?

SAHM's are not the ONLY ones that get cheezed off when they are told what bad parents they are.
 
Old 10-08-2011, 05:56 PM
 
8,241 posts, read 9,887,753 times
Reputation: 3539
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
I think it was well-deserved in this case. When someone assumes they have the right to judge and tell other people how to raise their kids or that they're doing it wrong, with the stance that their own preferred method of parenting is the superior one, it should only be fair to expect that that person's own kids should not be having glaring problems. It's not about whether we agree with her - you're allowed to have an opinion on how to raise your own kids - your own being the operative word here. It's when you start questioning other people's ways and bringing in faux-scientific "proof" that I personally start getting ticked off.
No, it wasn't, and I have great admiration for Strawflower for apologizing. I think there is never an excuse for attacking someone through their kids, no matter what they say.
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