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It's pretty bad when posters have to resort to lying about what I said to try and make a point.
I am, simply, saying that the only thing that matters about this choice, is how it impacts your family financially. Our kids turn out the same. Why is that such a bad thing to say??? It means this, truely, is a choice. We don't need to feel compelled to do one or the other for fear we will harm our children. In my book, that's a good thing.
I would agree for the most part with the qualification that financial obligations impact families MORE than than being a SAHM vs WM (as opposed to only), obviously for some families other factors come into play (i.e. special needs etc).
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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You just did it again. Men AND women both produce estrogen and testosterone. Many women produces MORE androgenic hormones then men. You really shouldn't "dabble" if you are just going to make ignorant statements like "men produce testosterone and women produce estrogen". Ugh.
Really, lkb, you can do better than that. Take a moment to relax, breathe deeply, sip some tea or wine, whatever does it for you.
The flaw in what you just said is quite obvious, I'm sure you can find it given a moment's thought. Here's a hint: what did I actually say? And what did you assume that I said, but didn't?
^This. I don't give a crap about what 50 years of statistical data.
Another point: That 50 years of statistical data started in the late-1950s-early-1960s. 1950-1960 is when women's lib started and less women became homemakers. Now, the trend is reversing, meaning more women are opting to stay at home over working. I wonder what the data will read for the next generation of women. Because I highly doubt we will go back into the dark ages of women being less educated and therefore the property of men. In my mind, this study is historically interesting, but presently irrelevant to what may happen to children born in the 1990s-2010s.
For someone waving their degree around its beyond bizarre that you would discount a meta-analysis of this size.
And for the record, as most people with a masters would realize, 50 years worth of studies is just the time frame when this research started. The majority of those studies actually happened in the last 20 years.
Interestingly, it appears that the number of working mothers has actually INCREASED according to a small study called the US Census.
For someone waving their degree around its beyond bizarre that you would discount a meta-analysis of this size.
And for the record, as most people with a masters would realize, 50 years worth of studies is just the time frame when this research started. The majority of those studies actually happened in the last 20 years.
Interestingly, it appears that the number of working mothers has actually INCREASED according to a small study called the US Census.
I do this because in my 35 years on this Earth, I have learned that oftentimes a degree is not worth paper it's written on, and for the most part neither are studies. You can't measure that children coming from a family of two working parents is "better" or "worse." You can't measure happiness in a study. Success, education, and income are NOT measures of one parenting method being successful and the other parenting method unsuccessful. So you can and all you want, it still doesn't change my position that parenting is a quantifiable data point.
The thing about studies is that they measure very specific things. There are many reasons why a woman would choose to stay home with her kids and there are many reasons why a woman would choose to work and provide for her family. The findings from those studies bear no weight in my decision to stay at home as my reasons for staying home have nothing to do with the the things that were measured in those particular studies. I'm sure this is true for many if not most stay at home and working mothers.
I was relating back to having asked my grandmother what the greatest modern convenience was. She said "indoor plumbing". I said that my choice would be that women, today, are no longer considered their husband's property as they were years ago. There was a time a man could do what he wanted with his wife and no one would stand in his way. I'm glad we don't live in those times. I find it very convenient to be a person in my own right instead of my husband's property as I would have been only 100 years ago.
I related earlier that in 1959, the police would not help my mother or I when my father beat her to a bloody pulp and held me at gunpoint. It was "Drunken disorder on his own property". However, my mother and I were treated like the property. Fortunately, my father slugged one of the officers and they arrested him for that so mom and I were sent to the hospital for medical treatment. Had dad not slugged a cop, my mom and I might have died that night. My father, apparently, had more rights than we did.
The use of the term "modern convenience" is where my confusion came in to play. I consider things like indoor plumbing, vacuum cleaners, washers dryers, dishwashers and a second car to be modern conveniences while I consider the right to own property rather then be property to be a civil right.
No, it's a proven fact that not enough income causes stress in households. This isn't something I decided. I know it would happen because it happens to others who try to live on too little income.
The problem here is you're making the assumption that what is true for you must be true for everyone else. You assume that one income = "not enough"/"too little". Not always the case. You are also assuming that 2nd income = "more". Which also, is not always the case. Depending on variables such as availability and cost of daycare, cost of working (transportation, taxes, working clothing/tools/whatever else) and the actual size of the additional paycheck....some families may not come out ahead - even financially.
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If working itself raises your stress level, then you either need a new job or to take a time management course. There is nothing about having a job, itself, that should raise the stress level in your home. Not being able to provide for your kids, however, has been shown to increase both stress and child abuse. We're seeing over double the child abuse cases due to the bad economy.
Here again, is where we differ. It's not about ME and what works or doesn't work for ME. I never said anything about a specific job raising my stress level (although that raises another point - different jobs do indeed carry different levels of stress). What I did say was that families may have different stressors (or lifestyle choices) - some of which may not be helped (and may even be made worse) with the addition of another working parent. Since you have such trouble wrapping your mind around what kind of circumstances those might be, I'll list just a few:
spouse who's job requires lots of travel, odd or extreme hours or even deployment;
special needs of household member (could be education needs or health needs or something else)
elderly parent who requires care;
homeschooling;
several preschool aged children where daycare alone might outweigh any financial benefit
larger family or families with kids involved with many activities (or both!)
These are just a very few. Any of these might be cause for educated parents to decide that the benefits of having one parent at home, outweigh the benefits (if any) of an additional income. I'm sure there are more, but again, I would not presume to think that the choices other families make are "less" or "unnecessary" or whatever. It simply is not my concern.
And back to my earlier question about why exactly it is important to make the determination of what is necessary for another family?
Last edited by maciesmom; 09-26-2011 at 08:06 AM..
Is it the norm for women to just want to pop out babies and stay at home?
If they can afford it. by all means, do it. Women belong in the home and that's where they do the most good anyway in my opinion. I don't want my wife working her fingers to the bone until 65. I want her to be at the house. raising kids and being a good wife.
Women shouldn't even want to work like Men do . it's very taxing on the mentality and the body.
If they can afford it. by all means, do it. Women belong in the home and that's where they do the most good anyway in my opinion. I don't want my wife working her fingers to the bone until 65. I want her to be at the house. raising kids and being a good wife.
Women shouldn't even want to work like Men do . it's very taxing on the mentality and the body.
If they can afford it. by all means, do it. Women belong in the home and that's where they do the most good anyway in my opinion. I don't want my wife working her fingers to the bone until 65. I want her to be at the house. raising kids and being a good wife.
Women shouldn't even want to work like Men do . it's very taxing on the mentality and the body.
As an outstanding professional software engineer, can I just say BARF to this sexist crap?
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It's pretty bad when posters have to resort to lying about what I said to try and make a point.
and 
all you want, it still doesn't change my position that parenting is a quantifiable data point.
Is it the norm for women to just want to pop out babies and stay at home?
