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Old 07-05-2011, 09:36 AM
 
144 posts, read 253,750 times
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Wife and I are older first time parents (wife just turned 40 and I am 41) due in September.


We are on the fence about whether to have a second child due to our age and the increased possibility of birth defects for older pregnant women.


Of course because of our age, if we do decide to have another, we would want to conceive the second one immediately.


So my question is: how soon after the first child birth should you wait before trying again? I would think mom’s body would need time to recover, even if she could get pregnant immediately after.
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Old 07-05-2011, 09:45 AM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 2,435,776 times
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I think you should ask your doctor about this. They will know your particulars better than anyone. Some women have babies 10 months apart. Some cannot have a second baby. All women are built differently. The doctor would know better than anyone, but even the doc probably won't know until after the first baby is born and he can see how it affected her the first time around. I think this will all be answered easier after the first baby is born.
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Old 07-05-2011, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
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I think most doctors encourage women to wait a year, but I would talk to your doctor. Since your wife is older, he/she might recommend trying sooner.
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Old 07-05-2011, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Northern California
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Congrats on the upcoming baby

I can't give any personal experience but I do agree with the advice to ask your doctor. It's probably on a case-by-case basis.
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Old 07-05-2011, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,982 posts, read 12,249,467 times
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You don't mention whether or not your wife will undergo prenatal testing, but if so, it doesn't really make much difference. I think most people will tell you 2 or 2 1/2 years between works out well for a variety of reasons, but it's really up to you. Whether she is 41 or 42 does not make much difference.
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Old 07-05-2011, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,664 posts, read 7,965,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sbd78 View Post
I think most doctors encourage women to wait a year, but I would talk to your doctor. Since your wife is older, he/she might recommend trying sooner.

It depends on how things go. If everything is OK during the pregnancy and on the big day, then a doctor might allow her to get pregnant before a year. But if she has a c-section, then she'll have to wait.
Plus, I'd advise you to see how things go once your little one is here!
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Old 07-05-2011, 10:39 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,636 posts, read 23,224,516 times
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Assuming that you want a second child, your wife will conceive most easily if the conception occurs closest to the birth. This is not about the "correct spacing of children" at her age, it's about weather she will be able to get pregnant a second time.

I am not calling your wife old, or judging you at all, for being more mature parents. I was 33 when I had my first child 17 years ago. My husband was 38. It took me one year to conceive my first child.
I nursed him for nine months and immediately, resumed our attempt to have a second child.

I began infertility treatments and was subsequently diagnosed with secondary infertility and POF - premature ovarian failure.

We continued to build our family through adoption. We never wanted an only child for a multitude of reasons.

Sadly,while I think older, better educated, and financially secure people make the best parents, but female fertility peaks at 25, I was in grad school then.
This is all so ironic as the Casey Anthony trial plays out in the media. Her murdered daughter the product of an unplanned teenage pregnancy! Somethings are just not fair in life.
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:33 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,981 posts, read 102,540,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raggy491 View Post
Wife and I are older first time parents (wife just turned 40 and I am 41) due in September.


We are on the fence about whether to have a second child due to our age and the increased possibility of birth defects for older pregnant women.


Of course because of our age, if we do decide to have another, we would want to conceive the second one immediately.


So my question is: how soon after the first child birth should you wait before trying again? I would think momís body would need time to recover, even if she could get pregnant immediately after.
IIRC, it is generally recommended that there be at least twelve months between the end of one pregnancy and the beginning of the next. That puts the kids at about 21 months apart. I agree with those that say it won't make much difference if your wife is 41, 42, or even 43 when she has that second child.
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Old 07-05-2011, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
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I was not "myself" for about 9 months after. I wasn't back in shape in 9 months, but felt physically recovered. If your wife is planning to breastfeed she might not be able to conceive until after the baby is weaned.
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Old 07-05-2011, 01:59 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,981 posts, read 102,540,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
I was not "myself" for about 9 months after. I wasn't back in shape in 9 months, but felt physically recovered. If your wife is planning to breastfeed she might not be able to conceive until after the baby is weaned.
You are correct to put "might" in quotes. I was just telling my older daughter yesterday:

I got pregnant breastfeeding her.
My mother got pregnant breastfeeding me.
Her mother (my grandmother) got pregnant breastfeeding her!

The irony of this situation is that in each case the mother had a daughter first, and got pregnant breast feeding her.
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