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Old 07-07-2011, 11:31 PM
 
57 posts, read 31,041 times
Reputation: 36

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My Dad always had a short temper but when us kids (now adults) were still living with him and Mom, he seemed to exercise more patience. I wonder if he's turned into a grumpy old man. Whenever Dad calls my cell phone, he expects me to answer instantly. I've told him that I can't take calls at work (his calls are never about urgent matters), that he can text me or leave a voice mail. He's frustrated I can't be reached on my work phone - that's just company policy. I recently moved into a new apartment and had the local utility company install both home phone and internet service. He tells me it's a waste to have a home phone I never use (he leaves voice mails now and then-once he left one that I didn't see for 4 days since indeed, I hardly use it-that upset him greatly. Since then I asked him to call my cell phone since I use it more - he still left a voice mail at my home phone AND cell phone ... then complains when I still don't call back right away.

I asked him recently why he left a voice mail on my home phone if I asked him to leave it on my cell phone-no answer. The logical solution according to him is to cancel the home phone line. My thoughts are - what if my cell phone battery dies (it recently almost did lasting just 15 minutes of talk time and less than 24 hrs stand by before the next charge). But it's my money and my phones, so why does he care so much? It's just irritating.

Then a few days ago, he called me on my cell (I answered it) and he asked if I wanted to join him, mom and his guests to see fireworks. I declined due to work. I then heard my Mom in the background asking, ask Ursofa how it's going with life/work, etc. He did ask me, but it was rushed, it didn't seem like he cared...I spoke for maybe 30 seconds and suddenly he cut me off claiming he was preparing dinner (he called me) and hung up.
Then yesterday I received shocking news from work that the company was closing down in a few months rendering us unemployed by the end of the year. I've worked there over 5 years now. I texted the news to Dad who seems to love his iPhone and staying in touch. No reply. Absolutely nothing. Talk about cold hearted. Does he care? Is he happy I'm getting laid off? Is he so busy with entertaining his guests that he doesn't have time for his own children? What do you folks make of all of this? Is it time to create some distance between my Dad and me or should I roll with the punches?
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Old 07-08-2011, 06:20 AM
 
1,131 posts, read 2,186,994 times
Reputation: 3288
Talk about cold hearted. Does he care? Is he happy I'm getting laid off? Is he so busy with entertaining his guests that he doesn't have time for his own children? What do you folks make of all of this? Is it time to create some distance between my Dad and me or should I roll with the punches?


let me take a wild guess here- you majored in drama?

he's probably just trying to figure out why you would be so unphased by such news that you would text it rather than call and discuss it- (as am I ) some things you can text- some require a call- learn the difference
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Old 07-08-2011, 06:56 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 33,804,267 times
Reputation: 42278
If you don't answer your cell, and he can't call you at work, and you "never use" your home phone (indicating you don't speak to him on it)--when DO you talk to your parents? Maybe he is the one trying to create some space since you don't seem to care to speak to them until you need something.
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Old 07-08-2011, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,131,588 times
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Can you have a chat with him (preferably in person) and just ask what's going on between you two? It's probably easier than trying to guess.
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Old 07-08-2011, 07:47 AM
Status: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
30,262 posts, read 36,634,398 times
Reputation: 37497
Leave him alone and go bother someone else with your issues.

It would be interesting to hear your dad's side of this.
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Old 07-08-2011, 07:52 AM
 
2,853 posts, read 6,021,736 times
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No offense, and this is just my interpretation from reading your post, but if sounds like your father has made a lot of effort to be in touch (more than a lot of fathers) while you lead a busy life and are often unable to always respond. This might frustrate him. He may not comprehend how busy you are. If he is like people I know, he is pressing call Ursofa on his phone, and perhaps not realizing whether it is the cell/home number. If there were a series of efforts made on his part that went unanswered, perhaps his feelings were hurt. It sounds like you only get in touch if you need something. Again, no offense, just what I got out of your post.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:13 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 33,804,267 times
Reputation: 42278
Also, a lot of people of generations older than yours do not like to text. If you insist that your dad can only speak to you through text, I can understand why he's frustrated.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:20 AM
Status: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
30,262 posts, read 36,634,398 times
Reputation: 37497
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Also, a lot of people of generations older than yours do not like to text. If you insist that your dad can only speak to you through text, I can understand why he's frustrated.


I can't stand to text and only have a cell phone because it's become more convenient to have one. I try to leave it at home but get caught sometimes.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:22 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 33,804,267 times
Reputation: 42278
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
I can't stand to text and only have a cell phone because it's become more convenient to have one. I try to leave it at home but get caught sometimes.
My dad hates it too. He hates the little buttons and that he has to get out his glasses.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:39 AM
 
124 posts, read 197,022 times
Reputation: 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ursofa_king View Post
...Then a few days ago, he called me on my cell (I answered it) and he asked if I wanted to join him, mom and his guests to see fireworks. I declined due to work. I then heard my Mom in the background asking, ask Ursofa how it's going with life/work, etc. He did ask me, but it was rushed, it didn't seem like he cared...I spoke for maybe 30 seconds and suddenly he cut me off claiming he was preparing dinner (he called me) and hung up.
Then yesterday I received shocking news from work that the company was closing down in a few months rendering us unemployed by the end of the year. I've worked there over 5 years now. I texted the news to Dad who seems to love his iPhone and staying in touch. No reply. Absolutely nothing. Talk about cold hearted. Does he care? Is he happy I'm getting laid off? Is he so busy with entertaining his guests that he doesn't have time for his own children? What do you folks make of all of this? Is it time to create some distance between my Dad and me or should I roll with the punches?
Seriously?! You can't seem to make time for him, but the minute you have something going on you want a quick response. I agree with whoever said that news of this magnitude deserves a phone call (if a personal visit isn't possible), not a text message. You seem to have set the tone for this relationship, now you're having trouble since you're on the receiving end. Deal with it.
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