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Old 07-15-2011, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,459 posts, read 4,075,942 times
Reputation: 3393

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bayarea-girl View Post

There are many things that our children will get exposed to that we feel we aren't ready to get into. Instead of two men kissing on TV my child saw it in person. She talked about it for a year. My hesitation with talking to her further was that she had a friend who's mother was a lesbian. The little girl constantly said she loved my child and that they would be girlfriends. Well to be honest that upset me. I want her to explore who she likes when the time is right.
I recall that my eldest, in kindergarten, had five different boys she was "engaged to" at the same time. She has not grown up to be a polygamist. Nor do most little girls who, as preschoolers, declare their intention to marry Daddy follow through on that plan.

A preschool teacher once contacted me, very concerned, because dd told people she was a boy and her name was Kevin. I wrote her a note back reminding her that the previous month she had told everyone she was a brown kangaroo, and we should be thrilled she was at least moving toward human.

I think sometimes people overreact to the declarations of children and assume they've made a Permanent Life Choice at four-- and I'm not sure why, since most of the time, fifteen years later we're bewailing their inability to even stick with a college major.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,818,732 times
Reputation: 2356
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aconite View Post

A preschool teacher once contacted me, very concerned, because dd told people she was a boy and her name was Kevin. I wrote her a note back reminding her that the previous month she had told everyone she was a brown kangaroo, and we should be thrilled she was at least moving toward human.
Haha - brilliant!
 
Old 07-15-2011, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
12,329 posts, read 12,098,430 times
Reputation: 14013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aconite View Post
I recall that my eldest, in kindergarten, had five different boys she was "engaged to" at the same time. She has not grown up to be a polygamist. Nor do most little girls who, as preschoolers, declare their intention to marry Daddy follow through on that plan.

A preschool teacher once contacted me, very concerned, because dd told people she was a boy and her name was Kevin. I wrote her a note back reminding her that the previous month she had told everyone she was a brown kangaroo, and we should be thrilled she was at least moving toward human.

I think sometimes people overreact to the declarations of children and assume they've made a Permanent Life Choice at four-- and I'm not sure why, since most of the time, fifteen years later we're bewailing their inability to even stick with a college major.
I Love it !!!! kids, sometimes people just read to deeply into what they say......
 
Old 07-15-2011, 10:27 AM
 
Location: IL
12,173 posts, read 6,116,809 times
Reputation: 11801
Quote:
Originally Posted by bayarea-girl View Post
My hesitation with talking to her further was that she had a friend who's mother was a lesbian. The little girl constantly said she loved my child and that they would be girlfriends. Well to be honest that upset me. I want her to explore who she likes when the time is right.
When my son was about 5, and realized men could marry men, he told me that he and his best male friend would get married. I said that yes that was possible, but people can't say for sure who they will fall in love with until they are older, and that a good friendship is a wonderful thing regardless. At nearly 11 they are still best friends minus the marriage talk.
 
Old 07-15-2011, 10:51 AM
 
2,987 posts, read 4,835,812 times
Reputation: 1388
When my girls talk about crushes I also don't play into it and at times I do try to explain the value of relationships in general. Some things are better discussed at a later time. There is no wrong or right answer here. As a parent what works for you my not work for me. Why should that be judged? It is all about what you are comfortable with.

To be honest when my daughter asked if she could marry her friend, asked if she was a lesbian, well I didn't feel comfortable and when her friend kept kissing her I felt more uncomfortable. After talking to the mother and telling her my concerns, she understood and the girls still played together until the mother moved. Do I want my kids to be gay, no, gay people don't even want their kids to be gay. I'll alway accept my kids for who they are but I don't want to push things on them either. I'm glad they understand what gay means. But there are many things that come up and will come up that is difficult for us to explain to our kids, its part of the gig. But admitting you have a difficulty and why you feel the way you do will helps take the pressure off and at some point makes it easy to discuss subject matters.

As long as things gets discussed I don't see a problem with a parent taking their time.
 
Old 07-15-2011, 10:53 AM
 
3,153 posts, read 1,972,570 times
Reputation: 4054
I tell them its an adult thing and that its not for little kids.
 
Old 07-15-2011, 10:55 AM
 
3,153 posts, read 1,972,570 times
Reputation: 4054
im not sure that all gay people dont want their kids to be gay. that would mean that the parent thought there was something wrong with being gay. Thats another thread though.
 
Old 07-15-2011, 11:01 AM
 
2,987 posts, read 4,835,812 times
Reputation: 1388
No, I didn't say that gay people or anyone who says that they don't won't their kids to be gay finds something to be wrong with their kid. I think people are being too sensitive here. Gay people will say that they don't want their kids to be gay because of all the hurdles they will have to overcome. It is ok not to want your kids to be certain things. At the end of the day of course they do make their own choices.
 
Old 07-15-2011, 11:03 AM
 
22,241 posts, read 13,053,140 times
Reputation: 23828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aconite View Post
A preschool teacher once contacted me, very concerned, because dd told people she was a boy and her name was Kevin. I wrote her a note back reminding her that the previous month she had told everyone she was a brown kangaroo, and we should be thrilled she was at least moving toward human.


(I'd have love to have heard the teacher sputter when she read your note.)
 
Old 07-15-2011, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,223 posts, read 785,754 times
Reputation: 874
Quote:
Originally Posted by pythonis View Post
im not sure that all gay people dont want their kids to be gay. that would mean that the parent thought there was something wrong with being gay. Thats another thread though.
Is it acceptable for a parent to feel that being gay is a choice and not a wise choice?

Is it acceptable for a parent to teach their children that being gay is a choice and not a wise choice?

It's an honest question I hope people think about rather than just jump in with angry or hostile responses.

Do we have a right to our beliefs even if they are different than another persons. Do we have a right to teach our children our beliefs?
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