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Old 07-11-2011, 07:47 PM
 
1,477 posts, read 955,269 times
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The other night, my daughter and I were visiting my sister. My sister had her TV on I don't know what, some prime time show. It wasn't HBO or anything, but a regular cable station show. I was talking to my sister, not paying it any attention, when my daughter suddenly asked, "Why are those two men kissing like that?" I looked and sure enough, it was two men, passionately embracing and kissing. I gestured for my sister to change the channel. She clicked it to Nick Jr. or something, and my daughter quickly became absorbed in that and forgot her question. Lucky for me, because it really caught me off guard.

What do you tell your kids about homosexuality, in this day and age when it's pretty much everywhere? I'm pretty sure the question will come up again, and I would like to know what to say. I hope I'm not offending anybody, but honestly I am not completely comfortable with homosexuality. I understand that people feel that's just the way they are and they can't help it, and I have absolutely no problem with someone who is gay, but I feel like anything that ANYONE does in the bedroom should remain there. There are a number of sexual things that people may do that I wouldn't, and that's kind of how I look at it. I wouldn't feel comfortable explaining any kind of sex act to a four year old, and I would be just as uncomfortable about the topic of homosexuality with her.

When I was a kid, I remember seeing Boy George, knowing he was different, and not giving much thought to his sexuality. I don't remember anybody explaining it to me, or my mom having to go into any great detail, and I don't ever remember feeling funny about anybody who was gay, but I also didn't have it in front of my face like kids do today. Parents, what are some age appropriate ways of having this discussion with a four year old?

 
Old 07-11-2011, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,192 posts, read 1,227,109 times
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I don't think you have to get into sexual detail, especially with a 4 year old. When my daughter asked I just told her that sometimes boys love boys, girls love girls etc... My husband has an Uncle who is gay, so I knew the questions would come and that was the best way I could explain it to her at that age.
 
Old 07-11-2011, 07:55 PM
 
Location: IL
12,158 posts, read 6,092,615 times
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I'm not sure why you feel you would need to explain sex acts to a 4 year-old. My children grew up surrounded by people of varying orientations and identities. I told them that most men love women, and most women love men, but some women love other women, and some men love other men. Some kids have one mom and one dad, some kids have only one mom, some kids have only one dad, some kids have 2 moms, some kids have 2 dads. I don't think you need to tell a 4 year-old any more than that.
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:02 PM
 
9,719 posts, read 7,070,333 times
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laura and zimbo gave the best answer and there really is no need to discuss it more. that answer should do even for an older child
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:09 PM
 
Location: here
17,015 posts, read 14,511,787 times
Reputation: 13921
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
The other night, my daughter and I were visiting my sister. My sister had her TV on I don't know what, some prime time show. It wasn't HBO or anything, but a regular cable station show. I was talking to my sister, not paying it any attention, when my daughter suddenly asked, "Why are those two men kissing like that?" I looked and sure enough, it was two men, passionately embracing and kissing. I gestured for my sister to change the channel. She clicked it to Nick Jr. or something, and my daughter quickly became absorbed in that and forgot her question. Lucky for me, because it really caught me off guard.

What do you tell your kids about homosexuality, in this day and age when it's pretty much everywhere? I'm pretty sure the question will come up again, and I would like to know what to say. I hope I'm not offending anybody, but honestly I am not completely comfortable with homosexuality. I understand that people feel that's just the way they are and they can't help it, and I have absolutely no problem with someone who is gay, but I feel like anything that ANYONE does in the bedroom should remain there. There are a number of sexual things that people may do that I wouldn't, and that's kind of how I look at it. I wouldn't feel comfortable explaining any kind of sex act to a four year old, and I would be just as uncomfortable about the topic of homosexuality with her.

When I was a kid, I remember seeing Boy George, knowing he was different, and not giving much thought to his sexuality. I don't remember anybody explaining it to me, or my mom having to go into any great detail, and I don't ever remember feeling funny about anybody who was gay, but I also didn't have it in front of my face like kids do today. Parents, what are some age appropriate ways of having this discussion with a four year old?
good lord, why would you do that??? If you wouldn't explain heterosexual relations to a 4 year old, why would you explain homosexual relations to her? You are forgetting the one key point that many people seem to - gay people love each other, not just have sex with each other.

I have a 5 and a 7 year old and have said something along the lines of "most families have a mommy and a daddy. some have 2 mommies or 2 daddies, or just a mommy or just a daddy, but most are like ours."
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:13 PM
 
2,490 posts, read 2,094,439 times
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You really shouldn't tell them anything. It's not appropriate.

I never knew about homosexuality until I was in the 4th grade. A friend of mine was telling me and another friend about rainbow flags and what they meant. But we were pretty disgusted by it. lol
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:13 PM
 
1,477 posts, read 955,269 times
Reputation: 3994
I think you are all right. But maybe I neglected to explain something about my four year old, which I thought was typical of most kids her age. Nothing is ever a "simple explanation." Every answer is followed by a "why?" or "how?" That answer would be great, absolutely perfect, if she would leave it at that, but I know my kid, and she wouldn't. I've already had to have some talks with her that I thought I wouldn't have to deal with for several years to come, because of the level of her inquisitiveness.

By the way, I would never explain any sex acts to her, that was just an example of how uncomfortable I am with this. In a way, I feel like my own uncomfortableness is what is making the whole thing difficult. Maybe seeing more of it or being around different people let her know it's not that big a deal.
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:14 PM
 
10,141 posts, read 11,536,385 times
Reputation: 9234
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
The other night, my daughter and I were visiting my sister. My sister had her TV on I don't know what, some prime time show. It wasn't HBO or anything, but a regular cable station show. I was talking to my sister, not paying it any attention, when my daughter suddenly asked, "Why are those two men kissing like that?" I looked and sure enough, it was two men, passionately embracing and kissing. I gestured for my sister to change the channel. She clicked it to Nick Jr. or something, and my daughter quickly became absorbed in that and forgot her question. Lucky for me, because it really caught me off guard.

What do you tell your kids about homosexuality, in this day and age when it's pretty much everywhere? I'm pretty sure the question will come up again, and I would like to know what to say. I hope I'm not offending anybody, but honestly I am not completely comfortable with homosexuality. I understand that people feel that's just the way they are and they can't help it, and I have absolutely no problem with someone who is gay, but I feel like anything that ANYONE does in the bedroom should remain there. There are a number of sexual things that people may do that I wouldn't, and that's kind of how I look at it. I wouldn't feel comfortable explaining any kind of sex act to a four year old, and I would be just as uncomfortable about the topic of homosexuality with her.

When I was a kid, I remember seeing Boy George, knowing he was different, and not giving much thought to his sexuality. I don't remember anybody explaining it to me, or my mom having to go into any great detail, and I don't ever remember feeling funny about anybody who was gay, but I also didn't have it in front of my face like kids do today. Parents, what are some age appropriate ways of having this discussion with a four year old?
When you discuss homosexuality with a young child you really do not have to get into the sex aspect of it. You can simply discuss the idea that sometimes two people who love each other might both be girls or both be boys. You can really leave it at that at such a young age. You wouldn't discuss the sex acts of heterosexual people, so there is no need to discuss the sex acts of homosexuals either.
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:16 PM
 
Location: here
17,015 posts, read 14,511,787 times
Reputation: 13921
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
You really shouldn't tell them anything. It's not appropriate.

I never knew about homosexuality until I was in the 4th grade. A friend of mine was telling me and another friend about rainbow flags and what they meant. But we were pretty disgusted by it. lol
right. that's better. let their friends tell them at school. because that's always accurate info. and what's not appropriate about it? They exist. the kids are going to see them. You can't ignore it.
 
Old 07-11-2011, 08:17 PM
 
2,490 posts, read 2,094,439 times
Reputation: 2719
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
right. that's better. let their friends tell them at school. because that's always accurate info. and what's not appropriate about it? They exist. the kids are going to see them. You can't ignore it.
Well, that's how I found out. Not sure how she (my friend) found out though.
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