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My daughters 8th birthday is coming up and we plan on having a Disco Party at home. She has made a list of 12 girls she would like to invite out of both 3rd grade classes. I don’t have a problem with her doing this and wanting to be with the girls she likes the most on her day. I plan on mailing the invites but inevitably kids tend to talk at school and I am sure others will find out they were not invited. I personally understand that not all classmates can be invited to every party and my DD has been on that end too with out it hurting her feelings. How do you handle the situation when a child or worse their parent ask you why they did not get invited? There is especially one pushy girl and her mother who do this. I included that child last year and my daughter cried when I did.
I don't think you should feel obligated to invite every girl in the class. If a parent asks about it, all you have to say is "we couldn't invite all 30 girls, and my daughter made the guest list." I understand the hurt feelings. I've been there, but unless this girl is a close friend (which she apparently isn't) it would be rude of her mom to mention it.
When did the concept of inviting everyone in the class to avoid hurting feelings start? Thank goodness that wasn't going on when DS was little..... to me, birthday parties are meant to be spent with people with whom you are close/good friends with.
If someone is that incredibly rude to ask why they weren't invited (or their child wasn't invited) then say what rkb suggested - "we had a limited guest list" and leave it at that. I wouldn't sweat too much over people like that.
I want to add, too, that 8 seems to be the age that a lot of kids stop inviting the whole class and concentrate on their better friends. It is also the age that some of the preschool friends drop off the list and the kids of mom's friends, in my experience. If you are one of the first to limit the guest list, I would bet more are coming.
No need to invite everyone. That said, don't pass the invitations out at school. Make other arrangements for invitation distribution.
Agreed.
Since school is out, the news won't spread so quickly anyway. One of my DDs has a July birthday and she always had a smaller party than her older sister whose birthday is in March. It's so much easier when there hasn't been an endless round of parties and lots of talk about birthdays in the classroom. Some kids will be out of town, so you may want to invite a few more than you think you can accomodate.
I always invited everyone. It teaches children to be better than those who excluded them.
As for crying after inviting the unpopular girl, a lesson in tollerance might be appropriate.
Kids need to learn that life isn't all about them, even on their birthdays.
I'm going to disagree with this one.
My kids have had plenty of opportunity to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and plenty of learning experiences. A birthday party is, IMO, intended to be when you celebrate a special occasion with your nearest and dearest. We invited the whole class in kindergarten, and started limiting parties thereafter to the children they voluntarily socialize with. If little Hermia is not normally someone Lucrezia would invite over, I'm not inviting her over for what is essentially a Really Big Playdate, With a Clown and Ice Cream.
Parenthetically, I did, once, insist eldest dd invite a girl she didn't want to invite to a sleepover. By morning I knew why she was dragging her feet. The girl was, despite the fact that her mother was a lovely human being, a thoroughly obnoxious and mean-spirited one. That was my learning experience-- to trust dd's instincts.
I'm going to disagree with this one.
My kids have had plenty of opportunity to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and plenty of learning experiences. A birthday party is, IMO, intended to be when you celebrate a special occasion with your nearest and dearest. We invited the whole class in kindergarten, and started limiting parties thereafter to the children they voluntarily socialize with. If little Hermia is not normally someone Lucrezia would invite over, I'm not inviting her over for what is essentially a Really Big Playdate, With a Clown and Ice Cream.
Parenthetically, I did, once, insist eldest dd invite a girl she didn't want to invite to a sleepover. By morning I knew why she was dragging her feet. The girl was, despite the fact that her mother was a lovely human being, a thoroughly obnoxious and mean-spirited one. That was my learning experience-- to trust dd's instincts.
Totally agree with this.
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