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Who cares what your parents and others think of the name? It's not their kid! You will never make everyone happy, but if you plan on spending your life with your fiancee you might want to consider his happiness. You made the agreement, now apologize and hold up your end of the bargain. There is a lot of meaning behind the chosen name, it's not like he just opened a book and pointed to the first name he saw.
Me and my fiance cannot agree on our baby's name. I am 32 weeks pregnant right now, and the "name" thing has been a point of contention for the last couple of months since I found out I was having a boy. In the beginning of the pregnancy we had a rule that if it was a girl I name the girl, and if it was a boy he names the boy. I REALLY thought I was having a girl, but nope it's a boy. The problem is that the name he wants to name my son is his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfathers name. His grandfather passed away three years ago and he was very close to his grandfather. But the name Clarence Lee is such an ugly name to me. EVERYONE that I've talked to cringes when I say that is going to be the baby's name. And my dad even told me tonight to NOT name the baby Clarence. I just got done talking to my fiance, and we got into a huge argument and are angry with each other.
He told me he is NOT budging on the name. At all. He's made a lot of sacrifices through this pregnancy which I'm willing to admit, so he says he's not making another one especially since we had both agreed that he would get to name the baby. But I just can't stand that name. I feel like it isn't fair that he gets to decide the name, knowing I don't like it. And it's gotten to the point now where he is getting offended that I don't like his grandfathers name, and where we just argue when this topic comes up. I don't really know what to do. I feel a lot of pressure from other people to not name the baby this name, because everyone says it's ugly. And I feel pressure from him to name the baby this name even though he knows I dislike it. I'm really embarrassed that this may be the baby's name. I'm also angry with him for not coming to a compromise.
Any advice?
Stand by the agreement you made. IMO, you are being childish. You thought it was a girl so you thought you'd get to name the baby so you agreed that you'd name a girl and he'd name a boy but it turned out to be a boy and now you want to reneg...NOPE. You agreed. He names the baby. He's, obviously, proud of his name. Let him pass it on. Come up with a nickname for the baby you like.
My husband was adamant that we'd name a boy after his father. I do not like his father's name. I think it's old fashioned so we agreed that, if we had a boy, he'd go by his initials. I had two girls. I had agreed that dh could name the first so she's named after an old girlfriend of dh's ???? but the spelling was chosen by me (same name different spelling. Dh tried to argue until I pointed out that the spelling fits her last name (celtic)). We couldn't agree on a name for dd#2 so we just kept going through names until we came to one neither of us hated. She's named after an incredibly intelligent woman I went to school with at the time. Interestingly, I, later, worked with another astounding engineer with the same name...
Me and my fiance cannot agree on our baby's name. I am 32 weeks pregnant right now, and the "name" thing has been a point of contention for the last couple of months since I found out I was having a boy. In the beginning of the pregnancy we had a rule that if it was a girl I name the girl, and if it was a boy he names the boy. I REALLY thought I was having a girl, but nope it's a boy. The problem is that the name he wants to name my son is his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfathers name. His grandfather passed away three years ago and he was very close to his grandfather. But the name Clarence Lee is such an ugly name to me. EVERYONE that I've talked to cringes when I say that is going to be the baby's name. And my dad even told me tonight to NOT name the baby Clarence. I just got done talking to my fiance, and we got into a huge argument and are angry with each other.
He told me he is NOT budging on the name. At all. He's made a lot of sacrifices through this pregnancy which I'm willing to admit, so he says he's not making another one especially since we had both agreed that he would get to name the baby. But I just can't stand that name. I feel like it isn't fair that he gets to decide the name, knowing I don't like it. And it's gotten to the point now where he is getting offended that I don't like his grandfathers name, and where we just argue when this topic comes up. I don't really know what to do. I feel a lot of pressure from other people to not name the baby this name, because everyone says it's ugly. And I feel pressure from him to name the baby this name even though he knows I dislike it. I'm really embarrassed that this may be the baby's name. I'm also angry with him for not coming to a compromise.
Any advice?
My advice is to stick to your agreement. It's not fair for you to back out just because you're suddenly not having a girl.
You made a deal that he got to pick the name if it's a boy. Get some integrity!
Since you made this deal believing you were having a girl, you sound very sneaky, underhanded and childish with your trying to back out of the deal now.
How can you dare to tell him that you don't like his name! It's the name of the man you love, have a child with and will HOPEFULLY marry!
As silly as it sounds I really thought I was having a girl, so I didn't really think this sort of situation would come up.
It doesn't sound silly, it sounds selfish---like you were tricking him into not having a say in the name. Your trick backfired.
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Originally Posted by JustJulia
My brother-in-law has a redonkulously old-fashioned family name, and everybody calls him Trey, which means three. (He's the third one with that name.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
or Trip! I think I like Trey better though.
I knew a Trip! Totally cool name for a teenager! Unfortunately, the OP's son won't be a III, he will be a IV.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
You could call him CL or how about Lance? I like Lance.
It's a great name.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Another suggestion: maybe your son's father will budge on the middle name, which you can call your son. If it starts with a J, like Clarence Jacob, that will give him the initials C.J., which are nice for a boy.
This won't work because then he won't be a IV if the name isn't exact.
Clarence Sr.
Clarence Jr.
Clarence II
Clarence III - your son would be the one entitled to the Tres, Trey, or Trip nickname. Does that sound a little more trendy to you?
Her son will be IV. You only use II in place of Jr if the baby isn't a direct line to the name.
For example, if Bob Jr has a boy, he names is son III. If Bob Jr doesn't have a boy, Bob Jr's brother names his boy Bob II.
Me and my fiance cannot agree on our baby's name. I am 32 weeks pregnant right now, and the "name" thing has been a point of contention for the last couple of months since I found out I was having a boy. In the beginning of the pregnancy we had a rule that if it was a girl I name the girl, and if it was a boy he names the boy. I REALLY thought I was having a girl, but nope it's a boy. The problem is that the name he wants to name my son is his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfathers name. His grandfather passed away three years ago and he was very close to his grandfather. But the name Clarence Lee is such an ugly name to me. EVERYONE that I've talked to cringes when I say that is going to be the baby's name. And my dad even told me tonight to NOT name the baby Clarence. I just got done talking to my fiance, and we got into a huge argument and are angry with each other.
He told me he is NOT budging on the name. At all. He's made a lot of sacrifices through this pregnancy which I'm willing to admit, so he says he's not making another one especially since we had both agreed that he would get to name the baby. But I just can't stand that name. I feel like it isn't fair that he gets to decide the name, knowing I don't like it. And it's gotten to the point now where he is getting offended that I don't like his grandfathers name, and where we just argue when this topic comes up. I don't really know what to do. I feel a lot of pressure from other people to not name the baby this name, because everyone says it's ugly. And I feel pressure from him to name the baby this name even though he knows I dislike it. I'm really embarrassed that this may be the baby's name. I'm also angry with him for not coming to a compromise.
Any advice?
Sorry, but a deal is a deal. The kid's a boy, and he gets to name it.
Besides, it isn't like he is naming the kid Lietchenstenickoffobob or something utterly ridiculous. He wants to honor a person who was really close and special to him.
And anyway, I have a great-uncle Clarence. The name isn't THAT bad; it's old-fashion.
Be grateful his granddad's name wasn't Melvin, and move on to more important things like whether or not you'll be co-sleeping, breastfeeding, unschooling, and free-range parenting. If you're still stuck on his name, how will you ever decide on the right SYSTEM!
"Clarence" would not be high up there on my list of names either, at least not initially.
But when I think about it a bit....
I don't think I've ever met a Clarence that I didn't really like. They've all been super nice, decent, (mostly) attractive types.
Plus, having a less common name is kind of nice. Clarence is the sort of name that people tend remember.
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