Restaurant Child Ban Update (student, high school, teach, mom)

[lkb0714]

Originally Posted by Colddiamond102

Nice try at calling me self centered. Lovely subtlety too.

However, I am a very blunt, direct person. I am this way with friends, family, and strangers. There's no teeter-tottering around with me, and blood or marriage ties doesnt make you a candidate for special treatment.I believe in respecting someone else's wishes, most especially on a day like that one...it doesnt matter if its mine or anothers event.

Bringing children as that person did was disrespectful and caused problems for the person holding the event. Id have asked them to leave on those grounds, and on the grounds that I shouldnt be royally PO'd all day on my wedding day every time I looked at said in law.

She didnt like it?? She could take it up with me later and either get over it or be mad for a lifetime. But for that day, she would not be welcome with her children, and Id make it widely known until she left.

That's fine for you but to suggest that is the best way to handle such a situation for everyone is silly. This was her husband's sister and it is hardly surprising she didn't want to make a scene. My cousin takes none of the blame in this situation and her sil all of it.

[num1baby]

I just want to ask again why we have to ban children instead of restaurants/stores/laundromats just kicking out the disruptive customers? And by customers, I don't just mean children. I mean people of any age who are making a scene or being generally disruptive? Why go as far as a ban when all they have to do is start kicking people out? After a couple of times, people will get the message that they have to be considerate of others.

If we are going to ban children because there is just a possibility that they MIGHT misbehave and cause discomfort in those around them, we should ban cell phones, talking above a certain level, and general rudeness because we know those will cause discomfort.

Let's use some common sense. Banning children will not solve the problem. We all need to stand up to entitled people and let them know that we won't sit by and accept this behavior any more no matter if it it your child, husband, wife, parents, or grandparents. Age limits won't stop rudeness.

[manderly6]

Originally Posted by num1baby

I just want to ask again why we have to ban children instead of restaurants/stores/laundromats just kicking out the disruptive customers? And by customers, I don't just mean children. I mean people of any age who are making a scene or being generally disruptive? Why go as far as a ban when all they have to do is start kicking people out? After a couple of times, people will get the message that they have to be considerate of others.

If we are going to ban children because there is just a possibility that they MIGHT misbehave and cause discomfort in those around them, we should ban cell phones, talking above a certain level, and general rudeness because we know those will cause discomfort.

Let's use some common sense. Banning children will not solve the problem. We all need to stand up to entitled people and let them know that we won't sit by and accept this behavior any more no matter if it it your child, husband, wife, parents, or grandparents. Age limits won't stop rudeness.

The simple answer is that this is what some consumers want and there is money to be made. If it turns out this isn't true it would quickly die out.

[Colddiamond102]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

That's fine for you but to suggest that is the best way to handle such a situation for everyone is silly. This was her husband's sister and it is hardly surprising she didn't want to make a scene. My cousin takes none of the blame in this situation and her sil all of it.

Never said or suggested it was right for everyone. I said *I* would have kicked her out....and never once did I put any blame on your cousin.

Read again..this scenario makes me indignant on your cousin's behalf. It does baffle me why people tip-toe around issues like that one ( My own experience is to nip this kind of thing in the bud from the get-go, less trouble in the long run), but again, that is simply me.

ANYHOO, back on topic, I believe they dont simply kick out the misbehaving ones because those kinds of scenarios leave room for lawsuits for harassment or discrimination, etc.

Its easier and safer to ban them altogether.

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by Colddiamond102

ANYHOO, back on topic, I believe they dont simply kick out the misbehaving ones because those kinds of scenarios leave room for lawsuits for harassment or discrimination, etc.

Its easier and safer to ban them altogether.

Very much this!
Otherwise who gets to decide how unruly is too unruly? We've already seen that some adults are completely fine with levels of disruption that drive other adults to distraction. Who's right?

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by AnonChick

Basically, that was the deciding factor. It was certainly not the only one, I knew when I was a kid myself, that I probably wasn't cut out to be a mommy. Exposure to other peoples' kids, and the parents who couldn't control them, made me confident that there wasn't enough money in the world to pay me to inflict my kids on anyone else, or allow anyone else to inflict their kids on me. And so, I didn't have any of my own. I got to pick and choose whose children I cared for instead. Everyone was a lot better off that way.

And yet you stand in judgement, and tell those of us who DO have kids, how best to control and raise them? Kids are no where near, even remotely, alike. There IS no cut and dried method of handling or raising them. Every child requires their own brand of correction as one size does NOT fit all! Of course, your comment on "use the seatbelt in the shopping cart, (duh)" attitude was pretty much a dead giveaway.

Some kids, you simply have to wait until they're older, to have successful "public outings"

[Colddiamond102]

Originally Posted by beachmel

And yet you stand in judgement, and tell those of us who DO have kids, how best to control and raise them? Kids are no where near, even remotely, alike. There IS no cut and dried method of handling or raising them. Every child requires their own brand of correction as one size does NOT fit all! Of course, your comment on "use the seatbelt in the shopping cart, (duh)" attitude was pretty much a dead giveaway.

Some kids, you simply have to wait until they're older, to have successful "public outings"

Leave her alone. From my understanding and reading, Anon is a well respected poster on the Parenting boards as well as others. Ive seen her give sage and well taken advice several times myself.

JUST because someone hasnt popped out a kid themselves doesnt mean they dont have experience handling them.

As to the seatbelt in the shopping cart, you'd be surprised how many people that wouldnt be a 'duh' thing, but more of a 'Oh yeah! That IS there' moment.

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by Colddiamond102

Leave her alone. From my understanding and reading, Anon is a well respected poster on the Parenting boards as well as others. Ive seen her give sage and well taken advice several times myself.

JUST because someone hasnt popped out a kid themselves doesnt mean they dont have experience handling them.

As to the seatbelt in the shopping cart, you'd be surprised how many people that wouldnt be a 'duh' thing, but more of a 'Oh yeah! That IS there' moment.

Anon does NOT need you to defend her, although I'm quite sure she appreciates it. I agree that she has many good things to say, but everyone has bad days. Although you don't necessarily have to popped a child out of your body to know a few things about "human nature and logic", there ARE some things that you DON'T know until you're 24/7/365 caregiver, I don't care HOW much common sense and book learning you've got on the subject.

Parenting takes a lot of work and a whole lot of outside influences can factor into whether you're going to be a good parent, an adequate parent or simply a breeder. What a whole lot of people fail to realize too though is that there are simply children out there who simply have behavioral issues. It is no fault of their parents, they just require more patience and more work. These children may NEVER fall into the wonderful little world of conformity that makes everyone else's lives around them a piece of cake. Some will always create a whirlwind of drama, wherever they go. Drugging these children into complacency isn't always the answer. Sometimes there IS no answer. All a parent can do is to do their best to minimize the damage they do.

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by EdJS

They aren't. The original article referenced was way overblown. The author found one restaurant in the whole country that decided to ban children and somehow decided it was the start of a trend.

Which is just ludicrous. Good for that ONE restaurant. They more than likely generally don't cater to a lot of children on a regular basis anyway. In these tough economic times, how someone would allow themselves to get worked up into a froth over public establishments not serving families with children, is beyond me. There seem to be conspiracy theorists jumping on every bandwagon lately. Perhaps they're unemployed and have too much time on their hands.

Good grief, some people and their kids can be a royal PITB, but there have ALWAYS been people like that. Most business owners and employees know this. It's those people who make you appreciate the GOOD customers. There are damn few businesses which can AFFORD to turn their backs on paying customers, just because they have small children. As always, someone's always got to be screaming over the stupidest things.

[Dorthy]

Originally Posted by Colddiamond102

Leave her alone. From my understanding and reading, Anon is a well respected poster on the Parenting boards as well as others. Ive seen her give sage and well taken advice several times myself.

Your opinion.

JUST because someone hasnt popped out a kid themselves doesnt mean they dont have experience handling them.

Not saying non-parents can't comment or post on the parenting board but parents do have a better perspective on... well....parenting.

As to the seatbelt in the shopping cart, you'd be surprised how many people that wouldnt be a 'duh' thing, but more of a 'Oh yeah! That IS there' moment.

I remind my child to sit down in the cart. Sometimes I have to remind her multiple times because she gets excited about something and forgets. If every parent seat belted their kids in the cart, I guarantee you'd hear a whole lot more screaming in the grocery store.