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I'd agree that it's a reflection of ambivalent parents who refuse to manage their kids' behavior. Apparently the problem has grown enough that businesses have elected to keep kids out altogether. It's more of a commentary on poor parenting. If parents can't teach kids simple manners, other people shouldn't have to deal with the fallout, IMO. It's unfortunate in that there are a lot of kids that are perfectly capable of behaving when eating out with adults.
I am getting really, really tired of people over and over talking about parents "these days" as if we are all idiots. I grew up in the 70's in a nice suburban town, and I have a number of memories of mean, out of control kids causing problems. Weren't the boys who held my brother down and shoved cigarettes down his screaming throat so charming and well behaved? I also remember my best friend's father talking about the difficult children he encountered growing up in the 40's.
There has been, are, and will always be kids who are good and kids who are out of control. Today I see many well behaved children in many settings. At my kids' school I love it when the kids stop and hold doors for me and greet me. At restaurants, I am actually having a hard time thinking of a time I've seen a child running up and down the aisles, and we eat out a few times a month at places that are kid-friendly.
With my kids, sometimes they are loud at grocery stores when they are happy. A couple of weeks ago at the store two of my kids were giggling hysterically about something. If that bothers other adults, then so be it. A grocery store is not a fancy restaurant, and we certainly could use more happiness in our society from kids who wear their hearts on their sleeves and still have a certain joy and excitement about life.
Sandals and Breezes resorts have been doing this for YEARS!!! Sandals has always been the couples only and Breezes for families. i have a child and i don't mind it at all. there are places i wouldn't take my son even if he were welcome. it's actually nice to know where he would be welcome and where he wouldn't--easier for me. ALSO, it would be nice for my DH and i to go out and know that if we left our son home, there would be a place we could go and there would be no children.
I don't think there is any more or less bad parenting now. I think kids were more likely to get backhanded for bad behavior "back in the day" which I don't think is a terribly good or effective discipline technique. But I would bet it shut them up in a restaurant.
I am not nuts about child bans. My kids are well behaved. They have never been allowed to be disruptive to other patrons. We have paid and walked out without receiving our meals. The kids learn pretty quickly that if they want to eat out, they behave.
That said I have friends that I am very reluctant to go out with, to eat or most anywhere else. It is just plain an uncomfortable experience when their kids are being disruptive to others. We went to a museum, a family friendly venue, and my friend would not stop her 4 year old from tapping on the glass (which was repeatedly mentioned on placards all over the place), pushing past the barrier indicators and generally being a *******. When my kids ask me me why she lets them do that, I have to answer honestly, I have no earthly idea. Truth be told I think she lives in fear of his tears.
So I guess while I do think banning kids is not great, I can see why some people want it.
I agree with the ban. Whether a child is well behaved or not, there should be some places where adults can go and enjoy an adult setting. Any parent with common sense would not take their small child out to a fancy restaurant, but there are some with no sense, and think their children are entitled to do whatever they want, go wherever they want, and behave however they want. These are the people that inspired these types of bans.
As far as bans from stores, planes, etc. I think that is going a bit far. Kids live in this world too. Would parents be expected to schedule their shopping around times that children are allowed in the store, or find a babysitter? Or can only fly on certain airlines at certain times, therefore not making it there for Grandma's birthday because little Billy can't fly at the time they need to? It makes more sense to put a sign up that says "Unruly children not allowed" and enforce it. When a kid starts acting up, make them and their clueless parents leave. And I'm not talking about a parent who is handling the situation, because kids do act up sometimes. I'm talking about the parents who ignore it, or helplessly count to 10 as slow as possible while their child demolishes everything in sight.
I've shut off drunks and had drunks tossed out when I was a bartender. That was part of the job. For places where the person is coming in drunk, and there's no bartender, you'd need to be pretty careful how you handle it because drunkenness and violence are close comrades. Best bet in the case of someone roaring drunk is to call the police and let them handle it (which I've also done).
I wasn't talking about someone who's "roaring drunk" although my post did sort of sound that way. I was referring more to the "frat boy" types who, after a drink or two, seem to think that loudly making disparaging comments about women/minorities/professional athletes/politicians/etc, seasoned with plenty of salty language, is good form at a public dinner table.
Bottom line, given the choice between repeated loud N-bombs and F-bombs or "I don't like peas!" I'm thinking I'd prefer the latter.
Parents?? The parentally inclined? Persons who have brought offspring into this world and are raising them? Persons who play a parental role to a minor child under the legal age?
Thats parent type people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I think it's pretty pathetic that CFers are "doing happy dances" over this. Stop whining and learn to live in society already.
Did I whine? No I didnt. I simply like the idea,posted the article and did my happy dance.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,680 posts, read 41,533,415 times
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On this issue parents have no one to blame but themselves. If parents would stop being so scared to nip tantrums in the bud (and I'm not necessarily saying spanking) that would probably resolve the tantrum without being too irritating to other people. Parent does it make sense to let your kid "cry themself out" in a public library while I'm trying to study? Why should I have to confine myself to my own apt because I can't go to libraries, restaurants or coffee shops because parents will let their kid act up all they want?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,680 posts, read 41,533,415 times
Reputation: 41302
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave
I think it's a symptom of some people's hatred of children in general, whether they behave or not. Most of these people share a certain political ideals (usually liberal). These feel the planet is over populated and needs a population reduction so anyone who has kids are a part of the problem.
While I'm not wild about children (just want to be as far away from them as possible but don't HATE them), I am in fact a conversative. I know other conversatives who aren't wild about screaming kids either. I think people of all political backgrounds want some places where they do not have to worry about screaming kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I think it's pretty pathetic that CFers are "doing happy dances" over this. Stop whining and learn to live in society already.
KIDS need to learn how to "live in society" and learn that acting a fool is not a good thing.
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