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Old 08-11-2011, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,140 posts, read 1,849,599 times
Reputation: 1109
Quote:
Originally Posted by icibiu View Post
If my cousins called me and asked me to watch their kids while they ran a quick errand or because they wanted a date night or a ladies night I would not charge them. Heck even if they asked me to watch them for an entire weekend so they could get away I not charge them, because I love them and family helps out family.

BUT if one of them were to approach me and ask me to watch 2 of their kids for 14 hours once a week on a recurring schedule I would not feel like I am doing something wrong or unloving by accepting the money they would offer me. And they would offer me money before me having to ask because they have manners and consideration.

A couple of hours/days here or there when someone is free is a favor, expecting someone to set aside an entire 14 hours on a weekly recurring schedule is a job. Why should I expect a family member to do a job for me for free?

If my family member owned a grocery store I wouldn't expect to walk in there once a week and do my entire grocery shopping for free, that would be taking advantage. But if they gave me some free food once in a while that would just be kindness.

Just because it's a service and not a good doesn't mean it's worthless. And if you can afford to pay for childcare why begrudge someone you love the money for a service they are providing you??
Again, it is a difference of family dynamics. you were raised differently than I was. Some years ago my sister approached me and asked my to watch her kids for 5 hours a day 5 days a week.I would of never dreamed of charging her to do so, because she is my sister and her kids are my niece and nephew. I couldn't fathom charging any money to watch them. I was raised in a family that teaches each other you don't make money from family.
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Old 08-11-2011, 07:13 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,444,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
Again, it is a difference of family dynamics. you were raised differently than I was. Some years ago my sister approached me and asked my to watch her kids for 5 hours a day 5 days a week.I would of never dreamed of charging her to do so, because she is my sister and her kids are my niece and nephew. I couldn't fathom charging any money to watch them. I was raised in a family that teaches each other you don't make money from family.
In this case, I suspect it's less about the family dynamics being different and more about this woman already being overtaxed. IF she didn't already have the burden of providing care for the grandmother every day, perhaps she would be more open to it. Then perhaps it would be a "favor" done for family. But mom is already overtaxed caring for the grandmother--she's already doing that "favor" for the rest of the family, and now the daughter is asking her to do 14-hour days taking care of her kids... this poor woman probably has no time for herself and taking care of two little kids for 14 hours is going to be a long day, especially for someone her age.
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Old 08-11-2011, 07:38 AM
 
5,745 posts, read 4,402,719 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
I couldn't fathom charging any money to watch them. I was raised in a family that teaches each other you don't make money from family.
but it's ok to take advantage of them? that's what it is.
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Chicago
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Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
but it's ok to take advantage of them? that's what it is.
And how is my watching my niece and nephew for free taking advantage of them?
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Chicago
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No wonder there is such a breakdown in the family structure in modern society, money is more important to people then their family is.
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:55 AM
 
1,164 posts, read 2,150,042 times
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Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
No wonder there is such a breakdown in the family structure in modern society, money is more important to people then their family is.

There's two ways of looking at that, I for one am all for paying family to watch children when it becomes a daycare type situation. Does this make money more important to me than family?? NO. Actually it makes family more important to me. I'm willing to part with some of my hard earned dollars to help out a family member in return for the help they are offering me.

Now if I refused to part with a measly $80 for 14 hours worth of care just beacause it was a family member who'd be recieving it, wouldn't that make the money more important to me? NOPE THESE $80 are MINE ALL MINE AND YOU CAN"T HAVE THEM, YOU'RE FAMILY AND I REFUSE TO SHARE MY MONEY WITH FAMILY!!

14 hours a week once a week, let's all hope OP isn't taking a trip out to the day spa during that time. It's more than likely she's working, so she's out making money. Why not share the spoils of her work with the person who is making it possible for her to leave the house in the first place?? Apparently money is more important to her that's why. She's wants to leave the house make some and not be bothered with paying for childcare.
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:58 AM
 
8,015 posts, read 3,400,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
No wonder there is such a breakdown in the family structure in modern society, money is more important to people then their family is.
That goes both ways. One can argue that it is unfamily like to ask to be paid. One can also argue that it is unfamily like to expect g'ma to sit for 14 hour days, that that is taking advantage.
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Old 08-11-2011, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,140 posts, read 1,849,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
That goes both ways. One can argue that it is unfamily like to ask to be paid. One can also argue that it is unfamily like to expect g'ma to sit for 14 hour days, that that is taking advantage.
Yes it would be unwilling to expect them to sit for any amount of time, but if they are willing to do it, then it isn't taking advantage, because they are willing to do it.
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Old 08-11-2011, 09:07 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
14,648 posts, read 16,109,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doggirl13 View Post
So my mother who is always complaining that I don't share my children enough with her was asked to watch my children 5,2. Part-time one day a week 14 hours on each day wants me to pay her $80 each day. Mind you I take my ailing grandma for her once a month for 3-5 days so she and my father can go on a mini vacation together.
Is it okay for this to bother me?
Well, that's less than minimum wage. I'd say it's more than fair. Your mother raised you. That was all she is obligated to do. If you want her to watch your kids, she has every right to ask for payment for her services. And you should be MORE THAN WILLING to pay that (or even more, since that isn't very much money at all). You should offer her $100 a day which comes out to just over $10 per hour.

Her time is valuable too.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 08-11-2011, 11:05 AM
 
5,745 posts, read 4,402,719 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
And how is my watching my niece and nephew for free taking advantage of them?
Don't act ignorant. People take advantage of their relatives by not paying for regular childcare.
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