Second Baby Showers (daughter, hubby, older, hair)

[CTGirlNoMore]

I pretty sure back in the time when people handmade items for multiple babies, the gift giver wasn't also asked to give money to throw a party or help support the new parent.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore

I pretty sure back in the time when people handmade items for multiple babies, the gift giver wasn't also asked to give money to throw a party or help support the new parent.

Nah, they just had potluck lunches and dinners. They made food for the new mom and family. Came over and cleaned her house while she took care of the new baby.

[CTGirlNoMore]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Nah, they just had potluck lunches and dinners. They made food for the new mom and family. Came over and cleaned her house while she took care of the new baby.

That's quite different than asking for money.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore

That's quite different than asking for money.

I don't think it is.

[eastwesteastagain]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Nah, they just had potluck lunches and dinners. They made food for the new mom and family. Came over and cleaned her house while she took care of the new baby.

That is still a job for family and friends, not colleagues.

[carolinacool]

I've said I don't mind second showers, but I find the way that it works at CT's office quite off-putting. Instead of putting up a flier that says basically "It's Baby #2 for Jane! Please join us for cake and punch in the conference room at 2 p.m. Wednesday," people have been told what to buy and how much to spend. Oh, and expected to kick in for the food and decorations. That is beyond tacky. And you can't even really ignore it because your lack of participation is tracked.

The shower hostesses need an etiquette lesson.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain

That is still a job for family and friends, not colleagues.

Then don't do it. Easy! LOL

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Then don't do it. Easy! LOL

Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. In a work environment, gift giving and $ collecting is tricky business. One is frequently unsure of the implications/repurcussions. For that reason things like that are generally better left alone.

[eastwesteastagain]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Then don't do it. Easy! LOL

Which is great, except that CTgirl is saying that the culture in her office is that people's contributions are kept track of - IMO, you go to work to work and should not have to deal with the fall-out of choosing not to give for every silly occasion someone decides needs a party. It's work, not junior high. I would feel differently if it was optional, but in the real world, there are office politics involved in things like this, which is where it becomes inappropriate. Giving to give because you want to is wonderful. Giving because you are made to feel as though you have to just because you come to work every day is coercion.

[FinsterRufus]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. In a work environment, gift giving and $ collecting is tricky business. One is frequently unsure of the implications/repurcussions. For that reason things like that are generally better left alone.

Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain

Which is great, except that CTgirl is saying that the culture in her office is that people's contributions are kept track of - IMO, you go to work to work and should not have to deal with the fall-out of choosing not to give for every silly occasion someone decides needs a party. It's work, not junior high. I would feel differently if it was optional, but in the real world, there are office politics involved in things like this, which is where it becomes inappropriate. Giving to give because you want to is wonderful. Giving because you are made to feel as though you have to just because you come to work every day is coercion.

I totally agree with this. People's budgets are stretched tight, and they shouldn't be subjected to pressure from other people to spend money they don't have.

In fact, I think I'm going to see eastwesteastagain's coercion, and raise you one extortion.