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I found out I was preggo again when my 1st was 4 mos. Funny how BC works for years, then, nope, not that time. Mine are 12 1/2 mos apart in age. It was hard at 1st, but I love it.
I did only have 1 shower, but I do like to celebrate every baby my friends have, we usually get diapers & wipes or bake dinners after the baby is born for the 2nd & on.
Oh, & we didn't really do it at work. I do things because I want to. If I'm forced, I no longer want to, I have to. Wish there was an easy answer. =(
there is an easy answer - don't have a second baby shower. If you want to celebrate a friend's baby, take her a meal and visit the baby, but don't throw a party that requires a gift, and invite a bunch of people.
I think some people have a case of the Debbie Downers. My goodness I've never seen so many complaints about something as innocuous as celebrations and gifts!!!
Thanks rkb...and yet somehow, those of us who've lived that nightmare manage to survive. It's so weird though, even when I'm not paying attention to dates, this strange melancholy will come over me, something that I can't quite put my finger on, you know?...all of a sudden, it hits me...it's almost her birthday. It's bizarre, but a weird, dreamy-like cloud starts surrounding me once August hits and I'm fine after her birthday has passed (17th)....just weird, like it has a mind of its own.
There have been years when I didn't even realize why the melancholy was there until just a couple of days before her birthday. Weird.... how the mind works.
I'm so sorry, Beachmel. I cannot imagine the devastation.
I do agree with waiting on the showers, too. We've suffered 4 miscarriages, so with each child (we've been blessed with 4), I waited until well into the 2nd trimester to tell anyone. And I mean anyone. It is so saddening and difficult to explain away a miscarriage. Anyone that's ever been through that can tell....I never ever understood people (I think they were lying) that were like, "oh I had a miscarriage this morning"...I'm like, WTF? Are you serious?
My husband's cousin is pregnant with her first, and she's now just about 8 wks along and is ALREADY planning her shower.
Me? I'm more cautious and just praying I get past the first trimester...
Every baby shower I've ever been to has been around the 8 month mark. My sister in law insisted on having her shower while her baby was in the NICU. I thought that was exceedingly tacky, as the baby was 3 hours away in the NICU while she's yukking it up at a baby shower.
I had only one baby shower...if people wanted to offer gifts, that was most appreciated, but I absolutely insisted on no showers after the first baby...
there is an easy answer - don't have a second baby shower. If you want to celebrate a friend's baby, take her a meal and visit the baby, but don't throw a party that requires a gift, and invite a bunch of people.
I supposed a 'one size fits all', no, no, no, perhaps. What's ironic is, I do agree w/ you. Mostly. Parties don't require gifts. I've been to many, even one tonight, &, all I did was ask for a coke. lol This is a different case, but, most I know, 2nd & any other showers are NOT planned or known of by the Mom. Most, not all.
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