Adult talking to kids you dont know etiquette (babies, toddlers, parents)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Me and wife didnt grow up here in the US. So our views on this maybe different.
Anyway, me, wife and our toddler were eating at a restaurant with playground. Our table was right next to the playground. This kid about 5 years old would talk to us about anything then would go back play then again go to our table and talk to us.
I would just say ok and wife would talk a little to her. Her older sister called her and told her she shouldnt be speaking to strangers.
As adults what is the etiquette when kids you dont know approach you and talk to you. Should we just ignore him/her? Should have we told her, she shouldnt be speaking to us coz we are strangers?
Sounds like you handled the situation ok and her big sister did also. I mean kids should not speak with strangers but at the same time you don't want to over do things and frighten kids too much.
I think it's ok to have a very brief conversation. For example a child comes up and says "hi" or "look what I have," and shows you a flower they picked up, I think it's ok to say hi back or that's a pretty flower. But you should not engage in lengthy conversations or encourage or permit the child to sit with you. And if a child wants to do so, I would then remind her/him to not speak with people they do not know.
I am originally from Ireland, so my view may be different too- btw, where are you from and what would be acceptable there?
For me it would depend on the setting- you were essentially in what is a playground setting, and in such a place, kids often come up to me and show me a flower or whateever, and we have a brief chat, with their mom within eyesight too. That is fine. If it was a formal restaurant or a mall or similar then I would probably say no more than hello- in a mall especially, as I wouldn't want to "entice" the child to keep talking and walking with me.
I hate the whole "don't talk to strangers!" thing that parents teach their small children. :\ First of all, it's confusing: mommy talks to strangers all the time, and if the checkout cashier at the grocery store says, "hi cutie! Do you want a sticker?" then the child is expected to say "yes, please," right? And most of the time, the checkout cashier is a stranger! When my kids were little enough to not be able to judge when it was or was not a good idea to talk to someone, I just kept a good eye on them. My son, who is fairly shy, does not, even at 10, go out of his way to talk to people he does not know. My daughter, on the other hand, even at 3 years old, was that kid at the playground running up to all of the moms/dads/grandmas showing off her pretty flower. So I really had to be on top of her, LOL. But still, I've never told them, "don't talk to strangers." I have told them that if they were lost, they should go to a mom with kids and ask for help. And that if someone makes them feel uncomfortable, they should get away from them. But to expect a child (or anyone) to go through their daily life not talking to anyone that they don't know is just silly.
Anyway, to answer your question, I think you did fine. If a child comes up to me in a playground/playspace and talks, I talk back. I also say hello to cute babies/toddlers in shopping carts or strollers. I'm a real public menace, you know. :P
I have been known to suggest to a child that they go show mommy their pretty flower, or ask them if they are out with mommy or with daddy today, so that I can get an idea of where the parent is. As long as a parent is around and realizes their child is having a brief conversation with me it's fine.
I also hate this "don't talk to strangers" hysteria. I believe it is far more important to teach children to use their judgement and discretion, and to develop social skills by talking to anyone in a safe, controlled environment than to teach them never to talk to people they don't know.
Honestly the playground at a kids restaurant is about as safe as it gets, especially when the parents are sitting right there too.
If children I don't know talks to me I talk to them.
Last edited by Zimbochick; 08-13-2011 at 11:54 AM..
95% of the time, kids come up to me to ask me questions about my cane. Usually I just answer them and then go about my way. The other day a kid asked me if my cane is a metal detector, and I told him I use it to walk instead of my eyes. Then he asked me if my eyes are broken. It was incredibly cute. The father was so embarrassed but personally I like when kids ask questions out of genuine curiosity. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, I wish parents wouldn't assume so quickly that I'm offended--just because they're so uncomfortable with my blindness doesn't mean I am.
I do realize that I am a young woman and don't pose as much of a threat to parents as say, an older man. But I don't think there's any harm in exchanging a few words. I think even an older man can say "hello", especially if a parent/guardian is within earshot.
I hate the whole "don't talk to strangers!" thing that parents teach their small children. :\ First of all, it's confusing: mommy talks to strangers all the time, and if the checkout cashier at the grocery store says, "hi cutie! Do you want a sticker?" then the child is expected to say "yes, please," right? And most of the time, the checkout cashier is a stranger! When my kids were little enough to not be able to judge when it was or was not a good idea to talk to someone, I just kept a good eye on them. My son, who is fairly shy, does not, even at 10, go out of his way to talk to people he does not know. My daughter, on the other hand, even at 3 years old, was that kid at the playground running up to all of the moms/dads/grandmas showing off her pretty flower. So I really had to be on top of her, LOL. But still, I've never told them, "don't talk to strangers." I have told them that if they were lost, they should go to a mom with kids and ask for help. And that if someone makes them feel uncomfortable, they should get away from them. But to expect a child (or anyone) to go through their daily life not talking to anyone that they don't know is just silly.
Anyway, to answer your question, I think you did fine. If a child comes up to me in a playground/playspace and talks, I talk back. I also say hello to cute babies/toddlers in shopping carts or strollers. I'm a real public menace, you know. :P
I agree. What are parents afraid of? Their child being molested? Statistics show that happens most often by adults the child already knows. Not talking to strangers is not going to make the world a safer place.
When kids talk to me, I talk back. It's called being polite. We all lead by example.
This
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
