Can you talk to your teen? (playing, 18 year old, learn, music)

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by bbekity

It doesn't make sense after your statement saying "you can get him shoes without taking him shoe shopping" and "you take him to a store and get shoes in his size"? Being hypecritical or just not clear?

I did NOT say you take him to the store. I say you go to the store. It was neither hypocritical nor unclear.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

I *think* Momma_bear meant giving him a choice in what shoe he gets vs. just buying him a generic pair of kicks. I may be wrong, but that is what I got from her statement.

Exactly.

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

I did NOT say you take him to the store. I say you go to the store. It was neither hypocritical nor unclear.

It's actually a pretty rare occasion where I'll go shoe shopping for my kids without them there. Just because you know what size they wear, it doesn't mean that every (size 12) is going to fit your child. I find it a much better idea to take my child with me, so that he can try on the shoes. It saves returning the shoes later!

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by beachmel

It's actually a pretty rare occasion where I'll go shoe shopping for my kids without them there. Just because you know what size they wear, it doesn't mean that every (size 12) is going to fit your child. I find it a much better idea to take my child with me, so that he can try on the shoes. It saves returning the shoes later!

I generally agree. But if a child is being disrespectful and he needs shoes it might just be a case where he gets what I pick out for him.

[bbekity]

Would you want your husbad to buy shoes for you without you there? Is shopping with your kids something you don't enjoy and that's why you buy shoes with out him? By the way...I must have missed how old your children are because sometimes it sounds at times like some parent's here are decribing grammar or middle school age children, not a young adult in College. I wouldn't let anyone buy clothes or shoes for me without my being there. Ever a teen? I bet you never fought with you mom about the clothes you wanted as opposed to what your mom would pick out for you without you there?

[bbekity]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

I generally agree. But if a child is being disrespectful and he needs shoes it might just be a case where he gets what I pick out for him.

And your adult child doesn't mind being treated like a child by his mother? Do you have a boy in college that you treat this way? You're making me feel better about my situation ever minute

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by bbekity

We did at one time.... with a pool, jacuzzi, half an acre, four bedrooms and a tv in every room.

Back to the original problem of Silent Sam....

Bbekity it sounds like you moved and downsized? Did his attitude change and did he start acting out after his living conditions changed. (Trying to figure out why he's acting like he is to find the solution.)

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by bbekity

Would you want your husbad to buy shoes for you without you there? Is shopping with your kids something you don't enjoy and that's why you buy shoes with out him? By the way...I must have missed how old your children are because sometimes it sounds at times like some parent's here are decribing grammar or middle school age children, not a young adult in College. I wouldn't let anyone buy clothes or shoes for me without my being there. Ever a teen? I bet you never fought with you mom about the clothes you wanted as opposed to what your mom would pick out for you without you there?

My own son will be 18 soon. As long as he behaves himself I take him shoe shopping, set a budget for him and buy him the shoes he likes. If he is disrespectful I will still buy him shoes but he forfeits the right to pick them out. I know what size he wears.

My own parents gave me a budget and my mother went shopping with me. However, had I ever dared to tell her to "just stop" when she was talking to me my ability to function independently would have be very different. And I knew it.

[Dragonfly8]

Originally Posted by bbekity

Would you want your husbad to buy shoes for you without you there? Is shopping with your kids something you don't enjoy and that's why you buy shoes with out him? By the way...I must have missed how old your children are because sometimes it sounds at times like some parent's here are decribing grammar or middle school age children, not a young adult in College. I wouldn't let anyone buy clothes or shoes for me without my being there. Ever a teen? I bet you never fought with you mom about the clothes you wanted as opposed to what your mom would pick out for you without you there?

My kids are 5, 7, 14, 15, 18 and 20.

My children know I will support them until they no longer need it. However, they also know my support would end in an instant if any one of them cursed me, took my car without permission, failed to graduate from high school, got caught dealing drugs, abandoned my car at a school and the police came to my house in the middle of the night to tell me, or were involved in criminal activity.

You've shared quite a bit about your son and I really hope he's doing better.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by bbekity

And your adult child doesn't mind being treated like a child by his mother? Do you have a boy in college that you treat this way? You're making me feel better about my situation ever minute

An adult doesn't need his mother to buy his shoes or to take him shoe shopping.