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Old 09-17-2011, 02:32 PM
 
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Hello,

So this is my dilemma. I have been staying at home with my daughter who's going to turn 2 in a few days and Im ready to go back to work. I'm debating between in home daycares and daycare centers at this point and thinking maybe having her in an in home daycare at first would be better since she is used to staying home. Anyways, so I found this provider online and she has a Montessori program at her home. She only got her license in June and so far has not cared for anyone so my child would be the first one in the program. She said she used to work in a daycare before and has references from people who have used her before. I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed very knowledgeable about the program and what she was gonna do with my daughter if we chose to go with her and her prices are very affordable as well. I know everyone has to start somewhere and someone's child has to be the first child, but would you put your child in that situation? Im guessing she will have a lot of attention since she will be the first and only child for now but I really don't know. Oh and I checked her license on the state's website and it is valid and at the last inspection in June, there were no violations, which in part could be due to the fact that there were no children in her care, but also everything else seemed to be in order, the inspector noted that the house was very clean and well equipped.Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you
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Old 09-17-2011, 02:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DCmum View Post
Hello,

So this is my dilemma. I have been staying at home with my daughter who's going to turn 2 in a few days and Im ready to go back to work. I'm debating between in home daycares and daycare centers at this point and thinking maybe having her in an in home daycare at first would be better since she is used to staying home. Anyways, so I found this provider online and she has a Montessori program at her home. She only got her license in June and so far has not cared for anyone so my child would be the first one in the program. She said she used to work in a daycare before and has references from people who have used her before. I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed very knowledgeable about the program and what she was gonna do with my daughter if we chose to go with her and her prices are very affordable as well. I know everyone has to start somewhere and someone's child has to be the first child, but would you put your child in that situation? Im guessing she will have a lot of attention since she will be the first and only child for now but I really don't know. Oh and I checked her license on the state's website and it is valid and at the last inspection in June, there were no violations, which in part could be due to the fact that there were no children in her care, but also everything else seemed to be in order, the inspector noted that the house was very clean and well equipped.Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

If you have checked references, license, and have a good feeling about the woman, I would say give her a try. Take your daughter to her home before enrolling her, see how your daughter responds to her and how she interacts with your daughter, or maybe you could try half days first if that works with your schedule. Or make some unexpected visits the first few weeks. A good daycare provider will have no problem with you showing up whenever you want, and it's a good way to spy on what's really going on. But I would do that whether my kid was the first and only or entering into an established daycare.

Trusting a stranger with your baby is always a scary thing, and I understand the apprehension you're feeling. But maybe if this woman is trying to get her business off the ground, she is going to give it, and your child, the very best. You are going to be her best form of advertisement...if she screws up, you'll be the one to tell every mom you know not to send their kids to her. I would give it a chance, keep a close eye on the situation, see if your daughter is happy and learning there.
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Old 09-17-2011, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
If you have checked references, license, and have a good feeling about the woman, I would say give her a try. Take your daughter to her home before enrolling her, see how your daughter responds to her and how she interacts with your daughter, or maybe you could try half days first if that works with your schedule. Or make some unexpected visits the first few weeks. A good daycare provider will have no problem with you showing up whenever you want, and it's a good way to spy on what's really going on. But I would do that whether my kid was the first and only or entering into an established daycare.

Trusting a stranger with your baby is always a scary thing, and I understand the apprehension you're feeling. But maybe if this woman is trying to get her business off the ground, she is going to give it, and your child, the very best. You are going to be her best form of advertisement...if she screws up, you'll be the one to tell every mom you know not to send their kids to her. I would give it a chance, keep a close eye on the situation, see if your daughter is happy and learning there.
Yeah that's really scary especially that this will be her first time going and she will be in a new environment. My other concern I guess is, she will be the only kid so she won't really get enough interaction with kids her age and when I raised that concern, the provider told me there was a park closed to her house and she would take her there, but I also think at her age, 2 she should start interacting more with kids her age and that she might be less scared her first days if she could interact with kids her age as opposed to just dropping her there and she finds herself alone with a stranger. I have to add that my daughter doesn't do well with people she doesn't know and will cling to me when strangers are around, I guess that's because she's been staying home with me her whole life .
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Old 09-17-2011, 03:08 PM
 
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I don't know... I was always more comfortable with a day care center setting. I figured with more people around, there was more accountability for the teachers. There are pros and cons to her being the only one there. Fewer germs, but very little social interaction. It would be like having a private nanny for a fraction of the cost. I guess it depends on what you are looking for and what our priorities are.
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Old 09-17-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DCmum View Post
Yeah that's really scary especially that this will be her first time going and she will be in a new environment. My other concern I guess is, she will be the only kid so she won't really get enough interaction with kids her age and when I raised that concern, the provider told me there was a park closed to her house and she would take her there, but I also think at her age, 2 she should start interacting more with kids her age and that she might be less scared her first days if she could interact with kids her age as opposed to just dropping her there and she finds herself alone with a stranger. I have to add that my daughter doesn't do well with people she doesn't know and will cling to me when strangers are around, I guess that's because she's been staying home with me her whole life .
My daughter was 2 years old when she started daycare too, and after being around only family and and only adults and older kids, she wanted NOTHING to do with other children. They seemed to overwhelm her. She loved the teachers, but avoided the other kids. When I would pick her up, I would always find her alone in a corner with a book, or hanging onto an aide or teacher. I actually think your child being the first, and other kids joining in gradually, would be a good thing. That way she's not thrust in the midst of a big bunch of screaming kids, and she gets the same one one one attention she's used to from you. Hopefully the daycare will grow and there will eventually be other kids for her to interact with, after she's comfortable and settled in.
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Old 09-17-2011, 03:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I don't know... I was always more comfortable with a day care center setting. I figured with more people around, there was more accountability for the teachers. There are pros and cons to her being the only one there. Fewer germs, but very little social interaction. It would be like having a private nanny for a fraction of the cost. I guess it depends on what you are looking for and what our priorities are.
Some part of me also feels that way. Since its just going to be her and the provider, what if she goes to sleep when Im gone? hit her because she's too loud? I know these are crazy things to think of and Im a paranoid person but I have just seen too many abuses happen with nannies and that freaks me out a little bit. I guess that's one of the reasons why I have stayed home with her till now but I know she's at an age where the interaction would be beneficial for her and plus I have to go back to work. I wonder what makes you comfortable as a parent to drop your kid with a home provider who is technically a stranger and you can't control or know anything that's going on once you leave. That's what's scaring me at this point.
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Old 09-17-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
My daughter was 2 years old when she started daycare too, and after being around only family and and only adults and older kids, she wanted NOTHING to do with other children. They seemed to overwhelm her. She loved the teachers, but avoided the other kids. When I would pick her up, I would always find her alone in a corner with a book, or hanging onto an aide or teacher. I actually think your child being the first, and other kids joining in gradually, would be a good thing. That way she's not thrust in the midst of a big bunch of screaming kids, and she gets the same one one one attention she's used to from you. Hopefully the daycare will grow and there will eventually be other kids for her to interact with, after she's comfortable and settled in.
YeS I also think her being the first has advantages as well since its not going to be too overwhelming at first. My only concern is accountability I guess and the fact that I don't know when other kids will join the program so she could be the only one there for quite a while.
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Old 09-17-2011, 04:47 PM
 
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As a child care provider for 20+ years, both in a center and from my home now, I have all kinds of insight to advantages and disadvantages on both.

First thing, what are your priorities for your daughter in a child care setting? Make a list and rank them. (learning, safety, nurturing, social interactions, potty training, personal attention, comfort..etc)

Second, what set factors are deal breakers? Location, price, hours open, group size, food provided, policies, discipline...etc?

Third-once you've got in your mind what you want in a provider for your child, go visit and ask direct questions. What kind of discipline do you use? What would you do if there was an emergency? What is your policy on illness? How do you potty train? What days are you closed? Anything that you might foresee as an issue for you.

Then factor in the human qualities...tone of voice, approach, professionalism, love of their job and children and so on. Are the provider (and other adults) pleasant? Do they react in calming ways? Do they treat you and your child with respect? Do they seem to be genuinely happy? Again, anything that you think is important.

Also look at equipment, supplies, toys, outdoor play area and anything else that will be used by your daughter. Are things in good repair? Is there enough for numerous children to enjoy? Does it look fun for your daughter?

Last, ask yourself, can I work together with this provider in all things regarding my child? If you feel the need to set down guidelines for the provider, if you feel like you have deep reservations about something-tangible or not, if you are thinking 'if it doesn't work out' or if you lean towards distrust to the provider then it's not the right provider for you. There are many many providers out there, both center based and home based, and one will be a good fit both ways, so look for that right fit.

We providers do the same thing in reverse...we interview the parent as much as they are interviewing us and if we feel it's not a good fit for our program, then we'll decline.
It's a smart business decision all the way around to go into an agreement together regarding the care of a child for both to be on the same page all the way around.

Good luck and I hope you find the right fit!

Oh and no provider is perfect, just like no parent is perfect, so you won't find the 'perfect' provider....just saying...lol
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Old 09-17-2011, 09:08 PM
 
1,057 posts, read 2,418,502 times
Reputation: 623
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
As a child care provider for 20+ years, both in a center and from my home now, I have all kinds of insight to advantages and disadvantages on both.

First thing, what are your priorities for your daughter in a child care setting? Make a list and rank them. (learning, safety, nurturing, social interactions, potty training, personal attention, comfort..etc)

Second, what set factors are deal breakers? Location, price, hours open, group size, food provided, policies, discipline...etc?

Third-once you've got in your mind what you want in a provider for your child, go visit and ask direct questions. What kind of discipline do you use? What would you do if there was an emergency? What is your policy on illness? How do you potty train? What days are you closed? Anything that you might foresee as an issue for you.

Then factor in the human qualities...tone of voice, approach, professionalism, love of their job and children and so on. Are the provider (and other adults) pleasant? Do they react in calming ways? Do they treat you and your child with respect? Do they seem to be genuinely happy? Again, anything that you think is important.

Also look at equipment, supplies, toys, outdoor play area and anything else that will be used by your daughter. Are things in good repair? Is there enough for numerous children to enjoy? Does it look fun for your daughter?

Last, ask yourself, can I work together with this provider in all things regarding my child? If you feel the need to set down guidelines for the provider, if you feel like you have deep reservations about something-tangible or not, if you are thinking 'if it doesn't work out' or if you lean towards distrust to the provider then it's not the right provider for you. There are many many providers out there, both center based and home based, and one will be a good fit both ways, so look for that right fit.

We providers do the same thing in reverse...we interview the parent as much as they are interviewing us and if we feel it's not a good fit for our program, then we'll decline.
It's a smart business decision all the way around to go into an agreement together regarding the care of a child for both to be on the same page all the way around.

Good luck and I hope you find the right fit!

Oh and no provider is perfect, just like no parent is perfect, so you won't find the 'perfect' provider....just saying...lol
Thank you hipocore, that was very insightful and helpful, but you have not given me the pros/cons of daycares vs in home providers Honestly though I think the things that are important to me at this point are safety, nurturing learning and socializing. I would also like flexibility in case I have to work late which I don't think will happen a lot, but it's just good to have the option. I understand that no provider is perfect lol and Im not looking for a perfect provider, I am more looking for a right fit, a place that will be nurturing and allow my daughter to grow and strive beautifully.
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Old 09-17-2011, 10:20 PM
 
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It certainly isn't an easy decision. The first in-home sitter I hired for my first born lasted one day. She had all her state permits and references that checked out, but when I got to her house to pick up my son, he was dressed in his snow suit, strapped into his car seat, and screaming his head off in the front foyer while the family was in the dining room having dinner.

It took me weeks to find somebody else, while my parents stepped in and babysat. The next in home provider had raised 6 kids, including 4 that she adopted from China. My son was just enveloped into the family, and remained there for almost 4 years. She was not on the approved list from the state, she just answered an ad I put in the paper. But, I knew when I met her that she was what I was looking for.

Good luck!
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