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There's as much difference between dissent and bullying as there is between lousy sex and rape.
It's a long spectrum comprised of many points. Since there ARE authority figures who do believe bullying is no more than a conflict between children, I'll stick with my original statement.
Hmmm. I'm going to go out on a limb here. My 4.5yr old is somewhat naturally inclined toward bullying. Yes, he's only 4.5 so a lot of his behavior "should" improve with age. But right now he's the "alpha dog" in the room. He'd like your kids' toys, he'd like to boss them around, he might push or shove your kid, and he'd like to be their friend...he just doesn't know how.
Now, as his parent we discipline consistently and do our best to try to teach him . We're tough parents and have a very well behaved older child. My husband and I are laid back creative types, not bullies.
You know what would make him behave? If he wasn't always the toughest kid in the room! No one pushes back, no one tells him to buzz off, all they do is whine and tattle. The influence of parents only goes so far, I can't be with him every day at school on the playground, kids need to learn some social consequences for their actions.
The problem of bullying has gotten worse as the majority of kids have become wimps. One well-placed shove and my "wanna be a bully" would be back in line. Please somebody shove him
Well, I would but I'd probably get in trouble since I'm 52 years old. But FYI, I'd still do it. I don't put up with much sass from children.
Has anyone his own age pushed him back? Just curious why you think it would work.
Well, I would but I'd probably get in trouble since I'm 52 years old. But FYI, I'd still do it. I don't put up with much sass from children.
Has anyone his own age pushed him back? Just curious why you think it would work.
I think it would work because there would be a social consequence for his action. I can punish, the teacher can put him in time out, but until he faces some kind of punishment from his peers I don't think it really sinks in.
I hope this hasn't come off like my kid is terrible, he isn't. But, he does tend to want to be in charge and has no problem bossing around other kids to do it. I think kids now are so quick to run to a teacher or Mommy and no one stands up to him.
Unfortunately, it's a very thin line these days. Kids are taught not to confront but to tell an adult versus back in the day kids were taught if someone pushes you - push them back
Hmmm. I'm going to go out on a limb here. My 4.5yr old is somewhat naturally inclined toward bullying. Yes, he's only 4.5 so a lot of his behavior "should" improve with age. But right now he's the "alpha dog" in the room. He'd like your kids' toys, he'd like to boss them around, he might push or shove your kid, and he'd like to be their friend...he just doesn't know how.
Now, as his parent we discipline consistently and do our best to try to teach him . We're tough parents and have a very well behaved older child. My husband and I are laid back creative types, not bullies.
You know what would make him behave? If he wasn't always the toughest kid in the room! No one pushes back, no one tells him to buzz off, all they do is whine and tattle. The influence of parents only goes so far, I can't be with him every day at school on the playground, kids need to learn some social consequences for their actions.
The problem of bullying has gotten worse as the majority of kids have become wimps. One well-placed shove and my "wanna be a bully" would be back in line. Please somebody shove him
Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976
I think it would work because there would be a social consequence for his action. I can punish, the teacher can put him in time out, but until he faces some kind of punishment from his peers I don't think it really sinks in.
I hope this hasn't come off like my kid is terrible, he isn't. But, he does tend to want to be in charge and has no problem bossing around other kids to do it. I think kids now are so quick to run to a teacher or Mommy and no one stands up to him.
I disagree greatly with your mentality...
especially at this young age...children look to adults for guidance because they lack effective communication and everything should not boil down to a push and pull ...
The fact that your older child is not like this means very little at times temperament is the culprit...
Maybe it could be that other parents are telling their children to tell the teacher which is best practice since aggressive behavior should not be tolerated..period..
What always worked in my classroom is nippingit in the bud...having the child tell the bully "You are not my boss and I do not have to listen to you"
and the teacher reaffirming that this behavior will NOT be tolerated...period and if it continues? We have contacted parents and had a conference and then a BIP trying to find out where this behavior is stemming from...
One bully should not be tolerated nor should 15 more be created...in order to knock him down a peg...really?
I believe children should LEARN how to foster cooperative relationships as well as team building from a young age..these are skills they sare going to need for the rest of their lives.....Adults are the best teachers and I agree with the MFT...
Some of these people don't realize they are bullies or that there is anything wrong with their behavior so they don't see the need to get their kids to stop acting like that.
And there are some kids who are bullies who are being parented by bullies.
The problem is that sooooooo many parents think their kids are perfect wonderful little specimens capable of no wrong doing and are always so quick to point the fingers at others and make excuses for their own children that it's easy for their children to become bullies.
Parents need to stop being so oblivious, you are doing a great disservice to your children by acting as if they are perfectm they are not, no one is. It's more loving to notice their imperfections, love them any way and help them grow to be better people.
I disagree greatly with your mentality...
especially at this young age...children look to adults for guidance because they lack effective communication and everything should not boil down to a push and pull ...
The fact that your older child is not like this means very little at times temperament is the culprit...
Maybe it could be that other parents are telling their children to tell the teacher which is best practice since aggressive behavior should not be tolerated..period..
What always worked in my classroom is nippingit in the bud...having the child tell the bully "You are not my boss and I do not have to listen to you"
and the teacher reaffirming that this behavior will NOT be tolerated...period and if it continues? We have contacted parents and had a conference and then a BIP trying to find out where this behavior is stemming from...
One bully should not be tolerated nor should 15 more be created...in order to knock him down a peg...really?
I believe children should LEARN how to foster cooperative relationships as well as team building from a young age..these are skills they sare going to need for the rest of their lives.....Adults are the best teachers and I agree with the MFT...
Some of these people don't realize they are bullies or that there is anything wrong with their behavior so they don't see the need to get their kids to stop acting like that.
That's been the case, IME, more often than not. Especially with girl bullies, though maybe it's just that I've run into more of their mothers. Lord love a duck, some of these women need to just calm. the. heck. down.
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