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Old 09-28-2011, 07:25 PM
 
10,114 posts, read 7,558,773 times
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I was going to post, but the thread has closed.

I thought that perhaps the OP would be interested in this

At-Home Dad Newsletter
Happy SAHD
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Old 09-28-2011, 07:28 PM
 
Location: here
17,004 posts, read 14,311,731 times
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Dad Stays Home - Place for Stay at Home Dads to Share Daddyhood Experiences - Powered by vBulletin

Here's another
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Ashburn, Va
3,243 posts, read 1,560,512 times
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Just saw the other closed thread. I've been a SAHD for 11 years now. Who has questions? Just don't ask me my sign or weight.
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:04 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,155 posts, read 19,012,005 times
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How many kids do you have? What made you decide to be a stay-at-home dad?
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,785,477 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
Just saw the other closed thread. I've been a SAHD for 11 years now. Who has questions? Just don't ask me my sign or weight.
Ha!

So, how did you and your family come to the decision on who would be the stay-at-home-parent?
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Ashburn, Va
3,243 posts, read 1,560,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
How many kids do you have? What made you decide to be a stay-at-home dad?
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Ha!

So, how did you and your family come to the decision on who would be the stay-at-home-parent?
I have 3. 14, 11 and 5. High school, Middle School and Kindergarten.

The decision for me to stay home was an easy one. It came down to money and job security. We both agreed that we wanted one of us home for the kids. At the time we both had good jobs and we were both making close to the same amount. My wife's job had a much better outlook however. She's a CPA and ran all the numbers and I got the job. Here's the equation she used:

My salary - Taxes - Daycare costs - the day to day hassle of having both parents working = a big fat goose egg.
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,785,477 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
I have 3. 14, 11 and 5. High school, Middle School and Kindergarten.

The decision for me to stay home was an easy one. It came down to money and job security. We both agreed that we wanted one of us home for the kids. At the time we both had good jobs and we were both making close to the same amount. My wife's job had a much better outlook however. She's a CPA and ran all the numbers and I got the job. Here's the equation she used:

My salary - Taxes - Daycare costs - the day to day hassle of having both parents working = a big fat goose egg.
Thanks, mike! We used a similar formula and came up with a similar conclusion. We decided my career could handle the time out of the work force more readily than DH's could, based on fields (psych vs. tech, respectively).

How do you enjoy being a SAHD? I imagine you have a wide array of experiences with kiddos ranging from K to HS! And like any parent, I imagine you have found pros and cons in your arrangement? Our OP on another thread had a bunch of questions for SAHDs - wondering where he got off to?
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Old 09-29-2011, 03:39 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,155 posts, read 19,012,005 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
I have 3. 14, 11 and 5. High school, Middle School and Kindergarten.

The decision for me to stay home was an easy one. It came down to money and job security. We both agreed that we wanted one of us home for the kids. At the time we both had good jobs and we were both making close to the same amount. My wife's job had a much better outlook however. She's a CPA and ran all the numbers and I got the job. Here's the equation she used:

My salary - Taxes - Daycare costs - the day to day hassle of having both parents working = a big fat goose egg.
Your kids are spaced in age similar to mine. Mine are 15, 13 and 7.

Do you like being a stay-at-home dad? Are you the only one you know? Do you have Dad groups? I see a lot of dads around here walking their kids to and from work, but I am not sure of most of their situations. One stay-at-home dad used to post, and I remember his saying how difficult it was for him to breach the Mommy Pack. The stay-at-home moms in his area weren't very friendly to him. Is that your experience too?
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Old 09-29-2011, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Ashburn, Va
3,243 posts, read 1,560,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Thanks, mike! We used a similar formula and came up with a similar conclusion. We decided my career could handle the time out of the work force more readily than DH's could, based on fields (psych vs. tech, respectively).

How do you enjoy being a SAHD? I imagine you have a wide array of experiences with kiddos ranging from K to HS! And like any parent, I imagine you have found pros and cons in your arrangement? Our OP on another thread had a bunch of questions for SAHDs - wondering where he got off to?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Your kids are spaced in age similar to mine. Mine are 15, 13 and 7.

Do you like being a stay-at-home dad? Are you the only one you know? Do you have Dad groups? I see a lot of dads around here walking their kids to and from work, but I am not sure of most of their situations. One stay-at-home dad used to post, and I remember his saying how difficult it was for him to breach the Mommy Pack. The stay-at-home moms in his area weren't very friendly to him. Is that your experience too?

I do enjoy it. At times I get a little "kidded out". I do wish I had a bit more interaction with adults.

I do know a couple of stay at home dads. My best friend did it for 4 or 5 years but had to go back to work recently. His experience didn't go to well for him though. His wife worked two jobs as a nurse. The stress of her jobs and her resentment of him ended with him moving out. The other fellow is the husband of a coworker of my wife. Things are going well with them but he's only been doing it for 2 years.

The biggest challenge I've faced was my wife's maternal jealousy when I first started. I think she really resented me for the first couple years. I think she thought she was missing out on everything. She eventually got past that issue and things are fine.

The Mommy Pack isn't much of an issue for me. I think the fact that most of the moms at my son's preschool didn't have older kids so would ask me for advice from time to time. I meet with various groups of moms at playgrounds for the kids to play but that's is as far as it goes. I don't have much in common with the moms outside of kids. I also don't think my wife would appreciate me having a really close friendship with another woman.
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Old 09-29-2011, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,785,477 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
I do enjoy it. At times I get a little "kidded out". I do wish I had a bit more interaction with adults.

I do know a couple of stay at home dads. My best friend did it for 4 or 5 years but had to go back to work recently. His experience didn't go to well for him though. His wife worked two jobs as a nurse. The stress of her jobs and her resentment of him ended with him moving out. The other fellow is the husband of a coworker of my wife. Things are going well with them but he's only been doing it for 2 years.

The biggest challenge I've faced was my wife's maternal jealousy when I first started. I think she really resented me for the first couple years. I think she thought she was missing out on everything. She eventually got past that issue and things are fine.

The Mommy Pack isn't much of an issue for me. I think the fact that most of the moms at my son's preschool didn't have older kids so would ask me for advice from time to time. I meet with various groups of moms at playgrounds for the kids to play but that's is as far as it goes. I don't have much in common with the moms outside of kids. I also don't think my wife would appreciate me having a really close friendship with another woman.
As a SAHM, I have to totally concur with the first bolded and the second bolded, as well!

Thanks for sharing your experiences! The issue of maternal jealousy is interesting - I hadn't thought of that, above and beyond the working parent feeling like they are missing out on the day-to-day.
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