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I don't like Aunt and Uncle for non-relatives. It even bothers me a little when relatives of my mom's husband want my kids to call them Aunt and Uncle.
I prefer Mr/Mrs/ Ms. First Name, that was the norm among our friends when we lived in TX. Here in PA, people seem to prefer Mr./Mrs. Last Name. It took me a while to catch on to that and I was feeling conflicted regarding how to instruct my kids. My husband suggested that I ask our 7 year old her opinion. Turns out, she prefers to use Mr/Mrs Last Name because then there is only 1 name to remember. OK - problem solved.
Our kids--they're grown now--called our friends "Mr." or "Mrs. Surname." We did know one couple who felt that was too formal and asked to be called by their first names....they were the only ones. (Time to grow up? ) We told our kids' friends that they could call us by our first names when they became adults. And they do now.
I have always thought that calling someone Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. is a little too formal, so I have encouraged my 5-yr old to call a grown-up by their first name preceeded by Uncle or Aunt. Right, so instead of me telling my son, "Go ask Ms. Megan if you can pat her dog", I tell him, "Go ask Aunt Megan if you can pat her dog". And that's exactly what he will call her.
My question: Is this a big no-no? No one has complained so far, but I hope I am not making them feel uncomfortable. I guess "Uncle" and "Aunt" are strictly reserved for blood relatives and my fear is that I (unintentionally) might be crossing those boundaries.
Any thoughts?
I think the appropriate show of respect from your child would be to use Mr or Mrs, or Ms if you must ....the person they're addressing can then tell the child whether thay'd rather they used just their first name or not....Unless a man or a woman ARE the uncle, or the aunt...your child should NOT call them that, and no doubt wouldn't unless you've taught them to.....would you teach your child to call another man father???, or another woman Mother???...of course not....because YOU are his mother....I just think the practice of giving strangers a familial name could prove confusing to the child and is totally unnecessary.
In Hawaii it's common to call an older woman Auntie Firstname. Even if she's not related. It's actually seen as a sign of respect for your parents' generation and is in the spirit of aloha.
I think it depends on the people, and also the region. When we lived further South, almost everyone called thadults ( kids addressing adults) Miss ( first name) or Mr. ( first name). So, my children were very much use to that... Where we live now, it is a little more formal and everyone seems to call everyone by their last names, which I do not like.
I sometimes ask what they prefer... I tell my kids friends' they can refer to me as Miss ( first name).
Down south here, I notice that Miss Sadie, or Miss Suzie is considered proper.
My children always called our adult friends and the parents of their friends Mr and Mrs. Smith.
My children use the appropriate honorific and surname. I was raised in the north where typically only family are referred to as Aunt and Uncle, and one must be at least a young adult and graduated from high school before it's safe to assume first names are acceptable.
Aquaintances, teachers, and neighbors are always Miss, Mr, or Mrs, although sometimes the adults would give permission to be Mr Jimmy, Mrs Barb. Close adult friends are Aunt and Uncle, but they are few and far between. Even today my adult kids feel comfortable FB 'friending' their "Aunt" Brenda or "Uncle" Rodney, in spite of not being related, because they spent so much time around them as children. Of course some of the adults they used to call Aunt and Uncle they now call merely by their first names - if the adults give them permission.
I have always thought that calling someone Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. is a little too formal, so I have encouraged my 5-yr old to call a grown-up by their first name preceeded by Uncle or Aunt. Right, so instead of me telling my son, "Go ask Ms. Megan if you can pat her dog", I tell him, "Go ask Aunt Megan if you can pat her dog". And that's exactly what he will call her.
My question: Is this a big no-no? No one has complained so far, but I hope I am not making them feel uncomfortable. I guess "Uncle" and "Aunt" are strictly reserved for blood relatives and my fear is that I (unintentionally) might be crossing those boundaries.
Any thoughts?
I would rather kids of my friends just call me by my first name. I agree Miss so and so sounds formal but I am getting somewhat used to it since my bestfriend is from Maryland and it is the norm there.
Because of my Hawaiian in-laws I am getting used to Auntie and Tita/Ate (filipino but close enough) as well, but that does tend to be reserves for family or VERY close family friends. We would not use it for the parents of the friend of a child.
I always had to use "Mr./Mrs./Miss Lastname when growing up. Occasionally I got embarassed because I either didn't know the last name or it was not the same as my friend due to divorce.
I don't care if someone of any age calls me by my firstname. The kids I've volunteered with call me "Miss [Firstname]" to make it sound a little more formal.
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) We told our kids' friends that they could call us by our first names when they became adults. And they do now.
