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Old 10-03-2011, 12:09 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,069,341 times
Reputation: 9565

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's still against the law to throw a minor into the streets.

Until they are legally adults, you need to find more creative ways to teach them world understanding and how to take responsibility for their actions.
Or I can choose to face legal action. Let us hope I am never faced with that prospect!

The problem with '"creative ways to teach" is that the ONLY way for someone to understand that they are to face the consequences of their actions is to not be shielded from said consequences.

 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:17 PM
 
43,017 posts, read 50,553,628 times
Reputation: 28796
Well, the OP asked if it's legal. It's not. Whether you chose to follow the law is your business and basically irrelevant.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:18 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,069,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Well, the OP asked if it's legal. It's not. Whether you chose to follow the law is your business and basically irrelevant.

She also asked if it was "ok". I think my post is relevant to that. The law is not always right.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:19 PM
 
Location: eastern pa
1,041 posts, read 2,254,482 times
Reputation: 1317
It would be hard for me, but I believe some situations warrant it, so would do it if we felt it needed to be done. My husband was asked to leave his home when he was 16. He was gone only one week, went crawling back, and was forever changed. I met him when he was 21, and he had/has, the best relationship with his parents that I've ever seen. Just because you are a parent does not mean you should enable your kid or not have expectations for what is acceptable in your home. We need to teach right from wrong and be prepared to follow through on consequences.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:26 PM
 
43,017 posts, read 50,553,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L.K. View Post
My husband was asked to leave his home when he was 16. He was gone only one week, went crawling back, and was forever changed. I met him when he was 21, and he had/has, the best relationship with his parents that I've ever seen.
Many parents who do this expect that their children will come crawling back. That doesn't always happen. I know the mother of the boy we took in really regretted her decision to kick him out. She was heartbroken that he didn't go crawling back to her. She was heartbroken that he didn't invite her to his graduation. All kicking him out did was validate to him that he was right about her. In the end, it boiled down to them both being very, very stubborn people. He learned how to be stubborn from her. They haven't spoken in a year. I don't see there being any chance that they will ever repair the relationship. He couldn't be happier without her in his life.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:29 PM
 
18,868 posts, read 16,050,669 times
Reputation: 24940
I removed my son from my home, when he was 16. I did not "throw him" into the street though. He moved to be with his Father. He was not going to school, but stating that he was, he was fooling around with his sister's friend, she was 13, whether it was consensual or not, he was told that was inappropriate behavior, and continued to do so, I felt like he was a danger to other young girls coming to our home. I would not want my daughter going to a home where a teen boy, who does not know appropriate boundaries was living.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 12:36 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,072,504 times
Reputation: 1815
Unless there was a danger to my other children, I would not. But if the issue is with drugs, gangs, etc.... Nope, not in my house. I would, however, provide some sort of "boot camp", rehabilitation program, etc. If they chose not to stay there, that's not my problem.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 01:03 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,162 posts, read 12,652,086 times
Reputation: 13575
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwifruit2 View Post

I ask this because I was a victim of it. Yes I was a trouble maker, but had good reason to rebel, and in retrospect, I do not think I was THAT out of control to deserve being thrown out at age 17. For a teen to get off of the school bus, and come home to find the door of their home locked, not having anywhere else to go, is wrong to me. Is this an okay way to discipline your child? What would it take for you to "reach your limit" and when you did reach that point, would you try to find alternative help first?

If you have had this happen to you or you know someone who had it happen to them, please feel free to share your story. Opinions welcome, but please try to keep this positive, no trolling. Thank you!
No, its not okay and as already posted illegal and heres why, you were attending high school. If you had been a HS drop out and had a job, would throw a different spin on the situation.

You said you had good reason to rebel. Such as?

Did your parents ever consider family therapy before the eviction?
Were you arrested?
Did you have a substance abuse problem?
Were you being abused?
 
Old 10-03-2011, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Maine
2,192 posts, read 3,476,079 times
Reputation: 2293
The OP mentions homosexuality -- this is a very real reason why LBGTQI teens are homeless and suicidal at times. Their parents disown them, cast them out like trash. IMO a parent who kicks their child out for that reason is beyond heinous as an individual.

There are things a parent can do short if "kicking them out of the house" for bad behavior -- it takes some time to find programs and alternatives. I don't believe in merely telling a child to leave without making provisions for them -- that's an abdication of responsibility of the highest magnitude, and fairly ironic when you think about it (i.e. the message it sends to such a kid -- it's not ok for the kid to be irresponsible but it's o for the parent to be.) I am not saying that these ids should stay in the home necessarily, but a parent's job is to see that the kids are taken care of.
 
Old 10-03-2011, 01:32 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,069,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lawmom View Post
The OP mentions homosexuality -- this is a very real reason why LBGTQI teens are homeless and suicidal at times. Their parents disown them, cast them out like trash. IMO a parent who kicks their child out for that reason is beyond heinous as an individual.
I am right there with you. That is simply evil.
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