19 yo told me that she is sexually active (appropriate, child, getting married)
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Honey, it isn't me saying what is or isn't adultery.
Actually, it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
I didn't come up with The Ten Big Rules.
Someone with a whole lotta more authority than me did that.
In Judaism (the orgin of the Big Ten) premarital sex is NOT considered adultery. But Jews don't get to define the word any more than Christians do. The meaning of the word is not affected by religion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
BTW, are you suggesting that only Christians are subject to basic morality?
How would you jump to that conclusion based on what I wrote?
I don't know what the average age of losing one's virginity is, but I would venture 16 or younger . . .obviously, by the time an "adult" is off to college, they will be exercising their freedoms. Sex is natural, by-the-way, in case you have not heard.
Do you have a problem with men? You sound like you believe men are evil sex devils and women are innocent victims. Seriously. That's a sad perspective.
Do you have a problem with men? You sound like you believe men are evil sex devils and women are innocent victims. Seriously. That's a sad perspective.
Since all of this God-talk crept into this discussion, consider this point: If sex is so evil, why did "God" create people with sexual feelings? Why did "God" create girls capable of becoming pregnant at nine years's old, (or whatever the average age of menstruation is)?
If "God" thought sex was evil, "he" would have made robots with no sexual feelings, and "he" certainly would not have made girls able to conceive while they are still playing with dolls.
I don't know what the average age of losing one's virginity is, but I would venture 16 or younger . . .obviously, by the time an "adult" is off to college, they will be exercising their freedoms. Sex is natural, by-the-way, in case you have not heard.
As a parent I never expect my child to be average in anything! Sex is natural but it has consequences that one should be ready for before engaging in!
This is the last thing I am going to post on this subject, because clearly it is a waste of my time.
I do not think that it is likely that men or women will, in these times, stay sexually unactive until marriage. And if that is what they choose, then fine.
But:
1) do not act like it is not undermining our society. The fact that the illegetimacy rate in this country has risen by 300% since 1970 is very telling, especially given that the percentage of men in prison who were raised in single parent households is 80%.
2) the idea that women should be married before becoming sexually active actually helps PROTECT the woman not only from pregnancy, but also from disease. No contraceptive is 100% effective. There is also the way women react emotionally to sex, which is different from men.
3) there is a morality aspect to it, like it or not.
I think it is important to instill your values in your kids, but I also think it is important to balance that with realistic expectations. Would you rather your daughter get married at 19 to the wrong guy just to avoid having sex before marriage, then end up unhappily married or divorced, or would you rather her go ahead and have sex with him, unmarried, realize he was the wrong person, and end up with the right person, happy? I see the value of doing it "your way" if you happen to find your soul mate at a young age, but that doesn't often happen.
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! Sex is natural but it has consequences that one should be ready for before engaging in!
