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Old 10-04-2011, 06:04 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,094,622 times
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D is in college 20 minutes away- BF is there -he is 1 year older -they have dated 2 1/2 years- she came home today to get some clothes and we chatted for a bit- I asked about BF and if they were still together - she said yes -I of course asked are you still taking your birth control and she said Yes and I said do you need it? dumb ? - she said yes- we are having sex mom -"everyone in college does....." anyway I am glad that she tells me the truth- I wasn't sexually active at 19 so it is hard for me to understand- Boy have the times changed- I did remind her that he needs a condom- I've been told he does.... hard to believe my sweet little baby is old enough for this.... anyway Just wanted to vent and get opinions -it could be alot worse like her being pregnant-she is at a very good school and studies alot-they do go to parties too.. she is hoping to go to medical school. A girl at her HS got pregnant, married the guy and they lost the baby last week- baby was 6 1/2 months along.... I do know that she doesn't want a baby for quite a long time-she told me not before 30 -she babysat all thru HS = very good birth control-haha!! I know that they've had sex before now but I think it wasn't very often...
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:09 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
27,237 posts, read 15,024,326 times
Reputation: 20851
I'm sure that, as a parent, that's hard to hear but not surprising at 19.

College seems to be the time for experimentation; but at least she has a steady BF and is on birth control.

She's actually way ahead of the game - than a lot of girls her age.

But, as the Mother of a teen-ager ~ I'll share your vent! I'm sure I'll be hearing it one day soon myself.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,093,871 times
Reputation: 1529
I to am not looking forward to that day. Hopefully I have quite a few years to ponder my response because my D is only 9 years old. Anyway....as the other OP said, at least she has a steady BF and is no bed hopping. It is great that she feels sol comfortable with you to share this, I only hope I am so lucky. Just keep the lines of communication open.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:20 PM
 
5,605 posts, read 4,158,119 times
Reputation: 12338
Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
D is in college 20 minutes away- BF is there -he is 1 year older -they have dated 2 1/2 years- she came home today to get some clothes and we chatted for a bit- I asked about BF and if they were still together - she said yes -I of course asked are you still taking your birth control and she said Yes and I said do you need it? dumb ? - she said yes- we are having sex mom -"everyone in college does....." anyway I am glad that she tells me the truth- I wasn't sexually active at 19 so it is hard for me to understand- Boy have the times changed- I did remind her that he needs a condom- I've been told he does.... hard to believe my sweet little baby is old enough for this.... anyway Just wanted to vent and get opinions -it could be alot worse like her being pregnant-she is at a very good school and studies alot-they do go to parties too.. she is hoping to go to medical school. A girl at her HS got pregnant, married the guy and they lost the baby last week- baby was 6 1/2 months along.... I do know that she doesn't want a baby for quite a long time-she told me not before 30 -she babysat all thru HS = very good birth control-haha!! I know that they've had sex before now but I think it wasn't very often...
Take a deep breath and....

Be thankful she trusts you enough to be truthful. Be thankful she and her BF are being safe. Be thankful she's in a committed relationship and isn't just "hooking up" with random guys. Be thankful she's focused on her future and realizes kids are a commitment she wants to delay until the time is right.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:31 PM
 
5,106 posts, read 6,060,240 times
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Good news is that you have raised a level headed girl who respects and trusts her mother enough to answer honestly. She will be OK.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,595 posts, read 15,415,894 times
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Also, give yourself a LOT of credit, OP, that you are the type of parent that your child, (sorry, teenager, adult daughter...your baby), can talk to about these things and feel safe doing so.

It really does go a very long way in her making smart decisions and she knows, if she needs advice or help or to just talk about anything at all, she can come to you.

You have done a great job by being a parent like that.

Of course it's not easy to hear...but be glad you hear it from her.

Now go pamper yourself knowing you raised that girl right.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:31 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,968,489 times
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at 19 she is an adult. glad she is on birth control. she sounds like a great young woman.
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Old 10-04-2011, 07:19 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 10,501,488 times
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Big deal. I was engaged at 20 and married at 21, shortly before I earned my Bachelor's degree. We celebrated our 22nd anniversary this year. Face it; she's a grown-up.
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Old 10-04-2011, 07:22 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,228,109 times
Reputation: 21263
Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
I know that they've had sex before now but I think it wasn't very often...
yeah, right.

Once the barn door is open, honey. Ain't no way you're gonna keep those horses in.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 10-04-2011, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,159,738 times
Reputation: 3481
Honestly, at 19, I would be more shocked to hear she wasn't.
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