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Old 10-19-2011, 07:44 PM
 
Location: here
16,929 posts, read 13,881,698 times
Reputation: 13713
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
That's because SAHM's do every day what WM's do on their days off. And, yes, we call them vacation days. Anything is easier if you don't have to do it after working all day.

Quit twisting what I've said. I've said that SAHM's don't accomplish anything that WM's don't accomplish. All moms do things that are important at home. It just doesn't matter whether mom does them while working or while not working. As I've said, people get their panties in a wad because it makes no difference whether you SAH or not. For some reason, saying WM's accomplish the same things SAHM's do is upsetting to some.
So, you are totally socially inept.

 
Old 10-19-2011, 08:34 PM
 
14,428 posts, read 8,502,578 times
Reputation: 6742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
That's because SAHM's do every day what WM's do on their days off. And, yes, we call them vacation days. Anything is easier if you don't have to do it after working all day.

Quit twisting what I've said. I've said that SAHM's don't accomplish anything that WM's don't accomplish. All moms do things that are important at home. It just doesn't matter whether mom does them while working or while not working. As I've said, people get their panties in a wad because it makes no difference whether you SAH or not. For some reason, saying WM's accomplish the same things SAHM's do is upsetting to some.
Since I've experienced both WOHM and SAHM with two vastly different children I call dissident BS on this statement. I have found my days with my son dx with PDD-NOS much harder than ANY day I've experienced as a single WOHM with my older son.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 03:23 AM
Status: "Desperately searching for the grading fairy...." (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,913 posts, read 16,215,477 times
Reputation: 11479
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
So, you are totally socially inept.
I love the I have nothing to say so I'll just attack the poster posts...

No, I'm just stating a fact. And it's a fact that has nothing to do with this debate as it's not about who has it easier. It's about whether or not the time differences that exist because of the decision to SAH or WOH matter and they don't. Our kids don't turn out differently based on our working status. From that, we can conclude that any time differences that do exist are inconsequential. The structure of a SAHM's day compared to a WM's day off is another debate and not really a debate as it's rather obvious that a SAHM's every day resembles a WM's day off.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 03:32 AM
Status: "Desperately searching for the grading fairy...." (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,913 posts, read 16,215,477 times
Reputation: 11479
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Since I've experienced both WOHM and SAHM with two vastly different children I call dissident BS on this statement. I have found my days with my son dx with PDD-NOS much harder than ANY day I've experienced as a single WOHM with my older son.
Sorry, but it becomes more difficult to get things done if you take 9 hours out of your day. That's just logic.

And I've SAH, SAHPT and WOHFT. I can tell you that SAH with any of my kids was easier if I didn't have to go to work that day. I would assume one of the attractions to SAH is it's easier. That was my only attraction to working part time and it was easier. However, what does easier/harder have to do with whether or not time differences actually matter to our kids?

I see no benefit to my kids of my working part time over full time. I do see benefits for me but I think it was transparent to my kids because I think my kids had enough time with parents either way. As a PTWM, I nearly doubled my days at home but I have no reason to believe that that was in any way good or harmful to my kids. It just made MY life easier. (That was the whole point. It was a selfish decision on my part because I wanted my life to be easier.)

All that happened because I doubled my time at home was the house was cleaner, I got more sleep, I had time for hobbies and time to take care of myself and dh did less housework and child care (the one negative besides the financial blow IMO) because I was home to do it. You have to keep in mind that we don't spend every second we are home interacting with our kids and people tend to be more efficient with their time when they have less of it (which is most of the reason that time studies find so little difference in time spent with children between WOHM's and SAHM's.)

Most kids aren't a lot of work. They require supervision more than anything but you don't have to intereact with them every second of the day and moms don't. Many things are transparent to our kids. Does it matter if I take my kids to the neighborhood park to play for an hour or the dcp takes them to her neighborhood park for an hour? I don't think they care who is sitting on that park bench talking to the other adults in the park just so long as someone is while they play.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:03 AM
 
14,428 posts, read 8,502,578 times
Reputation: 6742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Sorry, but it becomes more difficult to get things done if you take 9 hours out of your day. That's just logic.
LOL! No, it doesn't. Not in my case or many others. For example, keeping a clean house is easier when no one is home all day to mess it up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
And I've SAH, SAHPT and WOHFT. I can tell you that SAH with any of my kids was easier if I didn't have to go to work that day. I would assume one of the attractions to SAH is it's easier. That was my only attraction to working part time and it was easier. However, what does easier/harder have to do with whether or not time differences actually matter to our kids?
Because if one is stressed out during the time spent with the children, the quality of that time goes down.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Most kids aren't a lot of work. They require supervision more than anything but you don't have to intereact with them every second of the day and moms don't. Many things are transparent to our kids. Does it matter if I take my kids to the neighborhood park to play for an hour or the dcp takes them to her neighborhood park for an hour? I don't think they care who is sitting on that park bench talking to the other adults in the park just so long as someone is while they play.

My younger son is a lot of work & that was the point of my post.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:10 AM
 
10,083 posts, read 11,022,699 times
Reputation: 9135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
No, I'm just stating a fact.
Not exactly. You are stating your opinion.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:36 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,878 posts, read 18,404,241 times
Reputation: 29236
Ivory, you might consider that perhaps mothering and keeping house come much more easily to you than anyone else, and the people who object to your statements don't share your aptitude. If I am good at math and can solve a page of difficult equations in 10 minutes, and I tell people that 10 minutes is all it takes, I might hear some argument that completing the task takes 30 minutes, or an hour. If I can read quickly and go through a novel in four hours, I can also accept that some people might take several days to accomplish the same thing. From your descriptions of leisurely home life with minimal effort on your part, I've concluded that you might just be really gifted in that area. That's great! I wish I were so lucky. I think you might also have some sympathy for those who are not as fortunate as you are. For as much as you might know that the page of equations can be solved in 10 minutes, it's not that simple for everyone else.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
2,087 posts, read 1,517,849 times
Reputation: 2570
Again with the personal experience thing, Ivory.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 06:45 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,459 posts, read 3,932,918 times
Reputation: 3383
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
That's because SAHM's do every day what WM's do on their days off. And, yes, we call them vacation days. Anything is easier if you don't have to do it after working all day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
No, I'm just stating a fact.
The above, which is what was referenced (I didn't include rkb's post in between because it isn't relevant), is not a fact, no matter how much you call it one. "Easier" is not quantifiable. It is a malleable term which changes from instance to instance, from person to person, and sometimes even day to day or hour to hour. You've said that yourself earlier, to jojo, when you referenced her disabled child as an exception to the discussion. You can't make something a fact just because you want it to be-- and when "fact" becomes accurately renamed "Ivory's personal opinion", your argument loses its legs.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,459 posts, read 3,932,918 times
Reputation: 3383
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Sorry, but it becomes more difficult to get things done if you take 9 hours out of your day. That's just logic.

And I've SAH, SAHPT and WOHFT. I can tell you that SAH with any of my kids was easier if I didn't have to go to work that day. I would assume one of the attractions to SAH is it's easier. That was my only attraction to working part time and it was easier. However, what does easier/harder have to do with whether or not time differences actually matter to our kids?
Again with the assumptions based on extrapolation from personal opinion. "Easier" rarely comes up in anyone's reasoning for being at home. Economics (poor payoff:loss ratio), inadequate daycare, family preference, belief that children benefit from a parent present in the home, homeschooling-- there are any number of reasons cited. Google and you get dozens. In my search, the only time I came close to "easier" was "unlimited fridge access", which is not only not the same but I'm pretty sure it was with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I see no benefit to my kids of my working part time over full time.
Then there probably isn't, for your family. You don't get to make those generalizations for everyone else, however.
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