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Old 10-20-2011, 05:11 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 3,090,301 times
Reputation: 3579

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I went to the park today and my dd played with a group of kids while I sat on the bench and chatted with another Mom. DD came to me a few times to tell me about something or ask me a question, or because she was sad about something. I didn't get involved in her play at all but was there for her when she needed me. Even though I wasn't actively playing with her today, my presence was still important for her.

 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:12 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,275 posts, read 47,627,816 times
Reputation: 41668
no mom in home means unattended youngsters. unattended youngsters get raised by the streets.
biggest prison population on earth.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:20 PM
 
22,214 posts, read 13,026,697 times
Reputation: 23818
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
.... we can't look at our own situations without bias. That's why we need studies. They give us pause when our feelings are out of line with reality.
I thought that's why mothers-in-law were invented.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-20-2011 at 05:36 PM..
 
Old 10-20-2011, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165
Again, I guess the biggest questions here would be, "What exactly are we doing with our children, in our time with them." What are we teaching them? What are we modeling for them? As far as surviving in the world without us, what life skills are they going to take away, I mean, KNOW...I don't mean they've seen us do things, or they KNOW that we do these things, I mean what will they be excellent and confident at, when they leave our nests?

Will our kids really know how to keep house? how to appropriately do laundry? change the oil in their cars?....a spare tire? use tools? I mean, if all we're really teaching them is that you get up in the morning and you go to the job that you went to college, to learn how to do, is that enough? There's a whole lot more to life than that, that's for sure!

I'm back...LOL I can't count the times I've watched home improvement shows where someone gets a house and they have no idea how to do anything! Many of these people, men included, have never mowed a lawn before, don't know how to start a lawnmower, much less how to change a spark plug, add oil or change the oil. So many of the people leaving their homes are loaded with college degrees, but it's like they don't know how to do the most basic things. To me, that's just odd. Perhaps, if you're raised in an apartment building your entire life where someone else does everything for you, there's a valid reason for some of these knowledge voids, but seriously, we need to ask ourselves if we're truly preparing our children for life on their own. They may leave the nest with "earning potential", but look at how much money they're going to spend doing everything for them. What good does a high 5 or even a 6 figure income going to do them, when their cost of living expenses exceed their earnings.

Last edited by beachmel; 10-20-2011 at 06:40 PM..
 
Old 10-20-2011, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,815,848 times
Reputation: 2356
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
You should care what studies say. Studies are the only way we can take off our blinders. To ignore them is foolish. What we think is good for our kids may not actually be good for our kids because we can't look at our own situations without bias. That's why we need studies. They give us pause when our feelings are out of line with reality.
Sigh. Studies are not the only way to "take off our blinders." To put too much emphasis on one study or one meta-analysis is just as foolish as ignoring studies altogether. As has been demonstrated quite a bit in this thread, even the facts derived from solid studies can be used to "support" muddle-headed opinions.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 07:18 PM
 
14,561 posts, read 8,962,081 times
Reputation: 6852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
no mom in home means unattended youngsters. unattended youngsters get raised by the streets.
biggest prison population on earth.
LOL Wow! Talk about cherry picking facts and weaving them together to form your own reality!

 
Old 10-20-2011, 07:34 PM
 
Location: here
17,024 posts, read 14,538,767 times
Reputation: 13926
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I thought that's why mothers-in-law were invented.
he he
 
Old 10-20-2011, 07:37 PM
 
Location: here
17,024 posts, read 14,538,767 times
Reputation: 13926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
More is not necessarily better. I think I fit the description of a free range kid and so does dd#2. I happen to agree that kids need to spend time with peers. It's our job, as parents, to get them ready to leave our nest and start their own.
Starting at age 3? You may have teens who are capable of coming home to an empty house, but many of us have preschoolers. I'm not ready to shove them out of the nest quite yet.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
Starting at age 3? You may have teens who are capable of coming home to an empty house, but many of us have preschoolers. I'm not ready to shove them out of the nest quite yet.
WHAT!? ....never mind. Not even gonna go there.
 
Old 10-20-2011, 08:38 PM
 
Location: state of transition
713 posts, read 390,569 times
Reputation: 994
I'm just wondering why people would have kids at all if they don't want to spend time with them. I had great times with my son --loved all the hugs,, times reading together, taking him to movies, swinging in the park, exploring museums (so funny when he asked why all the people had no clothes on at 3), climbing up to waterfalls, exploring caves, the first plane trip when he thought we were going to blast off like the space shuttles we watched being launched, watching his concerts, band and jazz band performances, plays on the football field, debates, graduation from college, wedding--the joy on his face as he saw his daughter being born.

Why do people have dogs if they are just going to crate them for 8+ hours during the day and 8 ours at night and tell them to go away and play by themselves.

For those people it makes more sense to work, work, work, no kids, retire early with more money,to do all they thing that they put off doing,that is if they don't drop dead or get hit by a semi first.
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