A Quantitative Analysis of How Much Time Spent with Kids Correlates To The Child's Outcome... (SAHM, average) - Children, problems, school, daycare, behavior, age, teenagers, infants - City-Data Forum

jojo61397 · 10-08-2011, 09:14 AM

OR

My mom spent too much time with me, so therefore I'm *****ed up.

OR
My mom spent too little time with me, so therefore I'm *****ed up.

My mom was stay at home mom, who hovered around a lot. As a child I was laughed at constantly, because I was afraid of everything, and didn't learn to function until I was out of college out from under her watchful eye. Most of the children I grew up with were one extreme or another.

My kids are given plenty of time to themselves while I clean and accomplish things around the house, but they are not allowed to run willy nilly through the neighborhood. I think a happy medium is the best.

I do think that SAHMs tend to spend more time with their children, as a matter of physics, but I also think too much of a good thing is bad.

Here are a few

for good measure, enjoy the debate about who is the better parent because they spend the most time with their kid...

Today, so far, I spent over 8 hours with my kids, my son woke up and puked all over the place, so I have been tending to him since 3 AM. I win.

jojo61397 · 10-08-2011, 09:22 AM

And just for the record, I'm being sarcastic, deriving from martyrdom sleep deprivation.

formercalifornian · 10-08-2011, 09:27 AM

Ha, I've been up since 3:00 working on Cub Scouts for my kid and all his friends. Does that qualify as a tie?

P.S. I'm sure you realize that this thread will be short-lived, but we might as well have fun while it lasts.

jojo61397 · 10-08-2011, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

Ha, I've been up since 3:00 working on Cub Scouts for my kid and all his friends. Does that qualify as a tie?

P.S. I'm sure you realize that this thread will be short-lived, but we might as well have fun while it lasts.

It's my hope and prayer...

Yep, we are tied.

In all seriousness though, I knew the mommy wars made motherhood a contact sport, but I didn't realize that I would have to do public math and account for all the hours in the day.

num1baby · 10-08-2011, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojo61397

It's my hope and prayer...

Yep, we are tied.

In all seriousness though, I knew the mommy wars made motherhood a contact sport, but I didn't realize that I would have to do public math and account for all the hours in the day.

It is easy if you are organized. I keep a log of every second of my day so that I know I am spending the optimal amount of quality time with my child. Of course I have read all of the studies to give me the exact number of hours and what exactly qualifies as quality time.

ETA: I am losing by far today because DD and I woke up, she got dressed and was out the door. I haven't seen her since. Although I have talked with my neighbors who have stopped by and said that they have seen the pack of wild kids wandering the neighborhood and DD was in the pack.

Hopes · 10-08-2011, 09:35 AM

It's 11:30am. I just woke up.

Magritte25 · 10-08-2011, 09:43 AM

I go for an average for all years of childhood vs. by day. Easier that way.

I'm sure I'm screwing up in some way but I've come to terms with it. LOL

I keep telling them to get a good job with nice health benefits so they can seek therapy in their mid twenties.

wsop · 10-08-2011, 09:46 AM

Well, I'm a SAHM but my dd is out with my husband and my ds is in bed nursing a cold. The dog, however, has been underfoot all day as I try to clean and keeps scratching at the door to be let in every time I kick her out. So, I've spent more time with the dog today than my kids.

Come to think of it, I spend more time with my dog every day. Does that count?

Ivorytickler · 10-08-2011, 09:59 AM

I've got you all beat....up at 4:00 yesterday to get dd to a school function at 5:30 AM and didn't get home from another school function until 11:00 last night (literally, never left the school...of course I work there)!! And I've got you all beat on both ends because the only time I really saw dd#2 was around 11:00 last night when I got home, ate a slice of cold pizza and went to bed. So, I, simultaneously, spent all day on dd#1 while, COMPLETELY, ignoring dd#2. This happens a lot. Guess which one is the better behaved child? The one who gets ignored. Go figure.

Motherhood is not about time. I have no idea when/why someone thought it was. Logically, if we're all spending more time with our kids than a 1970's SAHM did we all have MORE time than we need, if we conclude that the 1970's SAHM had enough time. So time shouldn't even be part of the debate other than how spending our time has changed and what the ramifications of those changes might be. If our kids did not need more time and we're lavishing more time on them, what will be the outcome? Maybe time is like food. You need enough and you need enough of the right kinds but if you get too much, even of the right kind, you get fat. Maybe if you get too much of one kind and not enough of another, you have the time equivalent of a vitamin deficiency. Maybe what we need to do is find balance. More is not necessarily better. Maybe more is worse. As a teacher, I know my students are at a loss to do things for themselves. They've had them done for them their entire lives and they seem to NEED the approval of others. Most can't self assess and they seek the approval of others to find their self worth.

num1baby · 10-08-2011, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

I've got you all beat....up at 4:00 yesterday to get dd to a school function at 5:30 AM and didn't get home from another school function until 11:00 last night (literally, never left the school...of course I work there)!! And I've got you all beat on both ends because the only time I really saw dd#2 was around 11:00 last night when I got home, ate a slice of cold pizza and went to bed. So, I, simultaneously, spent all day on dd#1 while, COMPLETELY, ignoring dd#2. This happens a lot. Guess which one is the better behaved child? The one who gets ignored. Go figure.

Motherhood is not about time. I have no idea when/why someone thought it was. Logically, if we're all spending more time with our kids than a 1970's SAHM did we all have MORE time than we need, if we conclude that the 1970's SAHM had enough time. So time shouldn't even be part of the debate other than how spending our time has changed and what the ramifications of those changes might be. If our kids did not need more time and we're lavishing more time on them, what will be the outcome? Maybe time is like food. You need enough and you need enough of the right kinds but if you get too much, even of the right kind, you get fat. Maybe if you get too much of one kind and not enough of another, you have the time equivalent of a vitamin deficiency. Maybe what we need to do is find balance. More is not necessarily better. Maybe more is worse. As a teacher, I know my students are at a loss to do things for themselves. They've had them done for them their entire lives and they seem to NEED the approval of others. Most can't self assess. You learn to self assess by being left alone to make your own assessments.

Yes, but who says that 1970's moms did have enough time? And who says that 1970's mom did it right? If their way was the right way, then why are the kids of 1970's moms doing it differently?