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Old 10-17-2011, 10:40 AM
 
575 posts, read 211,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo61397 View Post
I'll drink to that... After the last 9 weeks, I'll drink to about anything...

As far as teen drinking, my mom allowed us to drink in her home, as long as it was under her roof, she didn't care. We were not allowed to leave.
Of course you probably were not suppose to drink outside of the home, right? Like that worked? I don't get parents thinking by letting their KIDS drink at home means they won't drink somewhere else. So delusional. Did your Mom let your friends drink with you?
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Old 10-18-2011, 12:02 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,191 posts, read 2,325,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
As an 18 year old, I don't think it's right for teenagers to be drinking. Most of them are already immature mentally, make stupid decision and being under the influence of alcohol will further set them back in their ability to make sound decisions. But unfortunately some parents are just irresponsible and let their minors consume alcohol even though legally, they're not allowed to.

Thankfully, statistics show that the % of teenagers who drink is falling.

My mom actually told me she wouldn't mind it if I drank. She even told me that when she was 16, she and her friends used to make fake IDs and go to clubs. I was literally shocked and a bit upset that she used to do that. She acted like it was no big deal and said that her friends used to do it. I felt like I was actually her parent for a moment there when I asked her "oh, just because all of your friends did it means it was okay?"

I personally don't drink, never have and won't ever drink. My dad is an alcoholic and it's caused him a lot of problems. So, because of that, I made a decision when I was 10 years old to never drank. I just don't believe you need alcohol to have fun.
So glad to see to see young people like you that demonstrate maturity. Sorry to hear what you said about your mom. It should be the other way around. Unfortunately, many parents today are not helping their kids make good decision. Many actually try to be their friend confusing that with being a parent. Take care.
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Old 10-18-2011, 12:18 PM
 
573 posts, read 655,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
Of course you probably were not suppose to drink outside of the home, right? Like that worked? I don't get parents thinking by letting their KIDS drink at home means they won't drink somewhere else. So delusional. Did your Mom let your friends drink with you?
I didn't drink outside of the home. If I had gone to say a friends house to party it up, I would have lost every privilege under the sun. No car, no sports, no dates, no dances, no prom, no radio, no television. I valued having my parents trust and the privileges I had than going out and getting drunk for the fun of it. My parents treated me like an adult when it came to alcohol, they didn't stigmatize it. I made my decisions and lived with them. And even though I had the freedom of drinking whenever I pleased in their home, I didn't get drunk until I was 26 years old.
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Old 10-18-2011, 01:36 PM
Status: "The Union forever! Down with the traitors." (set 22 days ago)
 
13,677 posts, read 17,587,858 times
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Some of the searchable threads on the topic will stumble on to my feelings on the subject. They can best be summed up by the idea that I believe the US as a whole has a backwards view on the consumption of alcohol which leads to it being stigmatized as a forbidden fruit and hence sought out by people for whom it is illegal to consume or leads to consumption en masse by those for whom it has just become legal. Consider me from the European school on the topic of alcohol and teens.

The first thing I would advocate for is lowering the drinking age back to 18. I find it ridiculous that an 18 year old can assume the full rights and responsibilities under the law with the exception of consuming alcohol. We allow 18 year olds to enter into financial contracts, join and fight in the military, vote in elections, etc. yet we deem them to childish to drink a beer. It's a little asinine and I don't care what "research" from MADD that you can point out showing how many lives it supposedly saves.

Further than that I would also be in favor of more graduated drinking laws that allowed lower age consumption of beer and wine, but I would concurrently favor much stiffer penalties for things like drunk driving and public intoxication.

Since the laws changing will most likely never happen this leaves me with the choice on how to handle it with my own children. I am within my legal right to allow my children to consume alcohol in our home under my supervision as long as it is not to excess. I think I would approach it progressively in an attempt to demistify and let my children try beer and wine as they reach the teenage years in the home. However, I would not get drunk with my children.

On hosting other teens at my home for drinking, that would have to be a definitive no. There is simply far too much liability involved in doing so. It is not worth it to risk prison and my families financial stability just to embrace the concept of what I think is the correct direction as outlined above. If my kids had friends over and they were drinking I would take the alcohol and call their parents to come pick them up.

When it comes to my kids going out to a party where alcohol may be involved, this is a situation where I believe the demystification of alcohol and open communication will pay dividends. I would allow them to attend such a party as long as they have demonstrated trust and responsibility in the past and I had all the details.

Any infraction that would break the above mentioned trust would result in stiff penalties such as not being allowed to attend future parties, loss of priviledges, primarily driving priviledges if they had them at the time.

Overall, alcohol should be treated much the same as drugs and sex. Open and honest communication, a little bit of leeway to let them make their own informed choices, but the consequence of having that door slammed shut if they abuse the priviledge. The worst thing a parent can do is treat the above three issues as being banned ultimate no-no's that we don't even discuss unless it's to reinforce the "just say no" attitude. In my experience the kids who were brought up where the conversation ended at no tended to be the ones smoking a joint, drinking a beer and then capping off the evening with random unprotected sex. The kids whose parents were honest and open and didn't place absolute limits on those things were the ones who may indulge but did it in a far more controlled and responsible manner. You never want your child to fear admitting their indulgement in vices as they are the ones who are least likely to call you when they are in trouble because of them.
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Old 10-18-2011, 01:40 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,302 posts, read 47,653,355 times
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every addict claims to be a moderate user.
your friends will do it all and still be winners but you, following them, will crash and burn, and "you" is a very large group.
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Old 10-18-2011, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
38,755 posts, read 39,267,653 times
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Zero tolerance. Drinking is the one and only thing that would nullify a mutual trust between myself and my teenager. (I would also not trust an adult who has been drinking.)

I would expect my teens to disclose whether their companions on any given outing would be drinking or not, and I would expect them to either abstain, or keep their consumption to a very moderate level, and not be influenced by any drinking companions. And preferably, to associate with non-drinking companions, but that can't always be controlled, just as I can't guarantee that people I socialize with will not drink.

I would allow my teens to drink occasionally and minimally at home, socially with parents, in hopes that it would curtail their inclination to drink away from home as a form of rebellion.

Drinking is an extremely serious issue, that can't be allowed to just "sort itself out with maturity". Maturity is where all the alcoholics are.

Having said that, I agree 100% with NJGoat's post #14.

Last edited by jtur88; 10-18-2011 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 10-18-2011, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,309 posts, read 17,079,141 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ees21 View Post
im doing a reserch paper about peoples ideas in the subject of teen drinking
and you think that a little drinkings ok if not in hevy useage

Seriously, the teen years are tough enough if you're not on mind altering substances. I am, absolutely, against teen drinking. Adults make major mistakes while drinking. Teens have even poorer decision making skills and less impulse control. And, and as anyone who works with alcholics knows, regular drinking arrests development. (look at Lindsay Lohan, et..al..) Definitely, not something you want your teen doing.
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:16 PM
 
575 posts, read 211,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Seriously, the teen years are tough enough if you're not on mind altering substances. I am, absolutely, against teen drinking. Adults make major mistakes while drinking. Teens have even poorer decision making skills and less impulse control. And, and as anyone who works with alcholics knows, regular drinking arrests development. (look at Lindsay Lohan, et..al..) Definitely, not something you want your teen doing.
Agree completely with this post parents. Above and beyond anything social regarding drinking, what it does to a teen with an undeveloped brain where their decision making skills are still not fully developed is really the issue at stake. Most teens never think there will be a problem and nothing will happen, which is another reason why they shouldn't drink at least until their brains are fully developed. I don't know. Drinking was never an issue growing up. My Dad ocassionally ordered a drink when we went out to dinner, but they never drank at home and as adults we don't have a drop of alcohol here as well. Just our preference.
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Old 10-19-2011, 11:00 AM
 
Location: state of transition
713 posts, read 390,946 times
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It is against the law in most states, I believe, for those under 21 to drink, so it was a no brainier in my house. That being said, I was in college during the Vietnam War. The drinking age was lowered to 18, as it should be now in my opinion. It was raised years later. If someone can die for their country--they are adults, and should be afforded adult rights. Drinking and Driving is a concern of course, and should be dealt with harshly. First offense no car for a year.
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Old 10-19-2011, 11:08 AM
 
Location: state of transition
713 posts, read 390,946 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
Agree completely with this post parents. Above and beyond anything social regarding drinking, what it does to a teen with an undeveloped brain where their decision making skills are still not fully developed is really the issue at stake. Most teens never think there will be a problem and nothing will happen, which is another reason why they shouldn't drink at least until their brains are fully developed. I don't know. Drinking was never an issue growing up. My Dad ocassionally ordered a drink when we went out to dinner, but they never drank at home and as adults we don't have a drop of alcohol here as well. Just our preference.
I was a military brat, my parents went to cocktail parties, and had alcohol in the house. They were an example of responsible social drinkers. There was never any question about teen drinking in the home, it was against the law and not tolerated.

Everyone has their own preferance on this issue--but on the issue of the law as it pertains to the drinking age there can be no wiggle room.
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