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Old 11-03-2011, 03:57 PM
 
90 posts, read 96,653 times
Reputation: 70
Unhappy Depressed as a SAHM...please be kind

I am really just looking for any positive words of advice or suggestions- please do not rule me as an awful parent. I work at a part time job I hate 4-8am and am then home with my 3 1/2 & 1 1/2 year old girls all day.I am also back in school getting my bachelors degree- I know I put that added stress on myself, but my days are becoming difficult.

I swear i completely lost all patience and am more irritable since becoming a mother and it kills me because that is not who I am. I know they are typical ages for whining, screaming, fighting, pulling on me, and asking things of me every 5 minutes- I just would like to know that I am not alone out there. I know there are several women who would give anything to stay home with their children all day- and I commend them for that because I just do not know if it is for everyone.

Please do not get me wrong- I can not describe how much I love my girls and it kills me to think of anything happening to them, and kills me even more seeing myself get so upset during the day because I know how blessed I am to watch them grow and develop. I am looking for positive, encouraging, suggestions to help me through the day!
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Old 11-03-2011, 04:05 PM
 
2,308 posts, read 2,211,793 times
Reputation: 1979
Do you think you could find another job you like better? Maybe that would help.

My best friend is a SAHM who just went back to work one day a week as a nurse. She was so bored and irritated home all day with a 7-month old. I don't think it makes you or her bad moms. Some women, IMO, are just not built for it. In addition, you have an awful lot on your plate with work, school, and full time mom duties.

I'm not sure what to say. Do try to give yourself some slack. I think anyone would be cranky doing everything you're doing. Is there anyway you could get a weekend to yourself or just you and your significant other? Maybe that would revive you a little. Try to find something that you can do for you. Perhaps that would relieve some pressure.
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Old 11-03-2011, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,277 posts, read 51,756,487 times
Reputation: 35443
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midwest1628 View Post
I am really just looking for any positive words of advice or suggestions- please do not rule me as an awful parent. I work at a part time job I hate 4-8am and am then home with my 3 1/2 & 1 1/2 year old girls all day.I am also back in school getting my bachelors degree- I know I put that added stress on myself, but my days are becoming difficult.

I swear i completely lost all patience and am more irritable since becoming a mother and it kills me because that is not who I am. I know they are typical ages for whining, screaming, fighting, pulling on me, and asking things of me every 5 minutes- I just would like to know that I am not alone out there. I know there are several women who would give anything to stay home with their children all day- and I commend them for that because I just do not know if it is for everyone.

Please do not get me wrong- I can not describe how much I love my girls and it kills me to think of anything happening to them, and kills me even more seeing myself get so upset during the day because I know how blessed I am to watch them grow and develop. I am looking for positive, encouraging, suggestions to help me through the day!

Hang in there honey, this too shall pass

And believe it or not, there will come a day when you would give every last penny you have just to have one more day with them at this age, one more opportunity to hear those tiny sweet voices

Being with kids 24/7 can be exhausting. Try to be kind to yourself when you can; take a long hot shower or bath or just 30 minutes to read a good book every once in a while.

And look for a great book that helped me out many moons ago. It's called "When you feel like Screaming".

Hard to appreciate just now, but this part really does go faster than you think.
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Old 11-03-2011, 04:18 PM
 
Location: In Line For The E Ticket Ride
20,508 posts, read 10,902,135 times
Reputation: 21907
A job you hate with bad hours, two little kids, and you are in school. Do you have a Superwoman cape? Probably not. That set-up would bring anyone to their knees. You have my sympathy and understanding. But what you need is a solution that will get you some relief.

What can you change?

Can you leave school for a while? Change jobs? Change hours?
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Old 11-03-2011, 04:26 PM
 
18,870 posts, read 13,488,400 times
Reputation: 24727
Try not to be such a great Mom, just stick them in front of the tv with a DVD. Get a few my little ponies, a my little pony playhouse, and let them rock out on their own for a bit. I remember that age, and I really went crazy myself. I went back to work to get away. So, I am probably not the greatest Mom to ask. I was always taking the kids out, to the park, to play, anything to keep them busy. Who cares about cleaning the house? I worked on staying sane.
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Old 11-03-2011, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Allergy Hell
3,775 posts, read 3,268,557 times
Reputation: 5510
I say this all with love. You can't do it all and you are trying to and because of that you won't be able to give 100% to anything. Nobody could with that schedule. The harsh reality is that you are going to have to give up something. Your job or school will have to be put on hold for a little bit. Is your income needed to make ends meet? If there is a way to budget to where you don't I would get rid of that and stay in school. BUT if you absolutely need your income to pay the bills you need to put school on hold. I know it's not the answer you want to hear but for your health you have to give one up. I wish you the best of luck.
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:13 PM
 
Location: here
16,581 posts, read 12,893,180 times
Reputation: 13199
You have some good advice so far. Something has to go. Can you quit your job? Can you cut back on school for now? Can you afford to put the kids in a mom's day out or preschool program a few hours/week?
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Old 11-03-2011, 06:19 PM
 
646 posts, read 675,200 times
Reputation: 1247
Good googley, when are you sleeping? I always felt I could handle most anything if I had enough sleep. If not, everything set me off.
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Old 11-03-2011, 06:50 PM
 
9,793 posts, read 10,223,282 times
Reputation: 8703
I agree with many of the prior posters.

You are not a bad person. You are not a bad parent. You are just doing way to many things at one time. Only you are in a position to figure out what to change.

Can you quit your job?
Can you lighten your course load?
Can you put your kids in daycare one or two days a week?

Please know that you are doing the best you can. Don't worry about other people or what they want, or would want. Just worry about your family. And remember that YOU are part of your family. You are entitled to be happy.
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Old 11-03-2011, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Land Of Moose, Blueberries and Chickadees
9,610 posts, read 4,514,519 times
Reputation: 12234
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midwest1628 View Post
I am really just looking for any positive words of advice or suggestions- please do not rule me as an awful parent. I work at a part time job I hate 4-8am and am then home with my 3 1/2 & 1 1/2 year old girls all day.I am also back in school getting my bachelors degree- I know I put that added stress on myself, but my days are becoming difficult.

I swear i completely lost all patience and am more irritable since becoming a mother and it kills me because that is not who I am. I know they are typical ages for whining, screaming, fighting, pulling on me, and asking things of me every 5 minutes- I just would like to know that I am not alone out there. I know there are several women who would give anything to stay home with their children all day- and I commend them for that because I just do not know if it is for everyone.

Please do not get me wrong- I can not describe how much I love my girls and it kills me to think of anything happening to them, and kills me even more seeing myself get so upset during the day because I know how blessed I am to watch them grow and develop. I am looking for positive, encouraging, suggestions to help me through the day!
I would never judge you for that. It's just another reason on my long, long list why I do not want to be a parent. It's exhausting! It's constant, it never ends. (Well, maybe 18 years later...maybe.)

I could give you some advice about it but then there's people who think that if you never had kids, you don't have "any right" to say anything.

Been around 'em, watched them, have done much for them, have been "in charge" of them, have seen what some parents do that works, have seen what some parents do that don't work...but alas, I get labeled as "not knowing anything" because I don't personally have them.

BUT, if you would like, you may feel free to PM me for ideas.
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