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Old 12-17-2011, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,525,225 times
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Sorry...in the heat of the moment there, I posted (miscarrying at 7 mo, but I meant....losing a child after it's been born is not even close to losing one at 7 WEEKS).

I too, feel awful for the Duggars. They take miscarriages hard. I mean, look what happened when they lost the first one, they made the decision to never use BC again. It affected Michelle so deeply that she has risked her life, repeatedly to have 19 (almost 20) children.

Although I'd never put my family on display for the world to see, I do think that they've shared a great deal of love and knowledge with the rest of the world. They do have some good lessons. Now mind you, I do NOT watch their programs, but I have visited their website and appreciate their money saving tips and have even found a couple of good recipes there. LOL

I don't know how affected those kids will be, having been on television for years, but I do know this....for the most part, there's a handful of camera crew around them on occasion, people who are most likely just an extended family by now, not strangers. The few episodes I have seen, they seem to be respectful of some of the most private moments in the family and do seem to try not to humilate anyone. My heart does go out to that family though, as they try to struggle through this latest sad event. I just hope people will be kind. They're bound to be getting a whole lot of negative feedback at a really rough time in their lives.

Still....I stick with the statement that it's time for JB to make the call. "I love each and every one of my children and I insist that we stop now. My wife's health and life are far too precious to me and the life of an unborn child are too precious to me to risk another pregnancy. Time for an operation!"
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Old 12-17-2011, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Still....I stick with the statement that it's time for JB to make the call. "I love each and every one of my children and I insist that we stop now. My wife's health and life are far too precious to me and the life of an unborn child are too precious to me to risk another pregnancy. Time for an operation!"
Don't you think Michelle has responsibility as well to protect her own health as well as the lives of the children so dependent on her?
But I would guess in that family the wife is subservient to the husband even in terms of her own health. I simply cannot understand living a life like that.
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Old 12-17-2011, 06:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post

I don't know how affected those kids will be, having been on television for years, but I do know this....for the most part, there's a handful of camera crew around them on occasion, people who are most likely just an extended family by now, not strangers. The few episodes I have seen, they seem to be respectful of some of the most private moments in the family and do seem to try not to humilate anyone.
I see what you're saying Mel. And I think it may work, for now. And it probably would have worked 20, even 10 years ago - being able to keep the exposure to a minimum. Not these days though, in the world of social media and TMZ.

The odds are at least one of those 19 kids is going to stray from the pack, for one reason or another.

If one of them is openly gay, transgendered, falls prey to substance abuse, gets pregnant out of wedlock or anything else that makes them newsworthy, they will be descended upon by the media and GP faster than you can say "Give the kid a break".

They've assured that their children will never have the opportunity to live a private life once they leave the nest - should anything at all happen to them they will have to go through it in public. Which will make whatever it is 3 gazillion times worse. They won't be able to deal with their issues in private, because their parents took that option away.

No matter how tastefully and unobtrusively they think they're filming, you cannot control the outside pressures once you put your kids out there.

Their children did not ask for that be a factor in their lives. But it is now. We've yet to see what price one of their kids may have to pay.
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Old 12-17-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
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NK...in my household, yes.... I would definitely have a say in whether or not I got pregnant. I honestly don't think that JB would object to her using protection. I do think he respects and loves her enough for that. Their faith, however, does put him as the absolute head. He is the one who needs to step up and say, "I will not allow this anymore. I'm going to stop it NOW before I lose you."

Fin...I do hear what you're saying and do agree. Anytime you allow yourself to be displayed in the media, you run a terrible risk of losing your "cloak of privacy". I would be blown away if one of more of their children end up in the limelight, due to their actions. What are the odds that at least one will stray from "their faith"? Pretty high I would guess. LOL Like I said, I would NEVER be a part of something like that. In my late 20s, my father expressed his disappointment, that I had chosen to keep my musical talents local....to not pursue the life of "fame". I let him know that my music pleased myself and others...and there was NOTHING less appealing to me than becoming "famous", becoming the kind of person who was victimized constantly by crazed fans, becoming the kind of person who couldn't go anywhere without having my privacy invaded. Fame has its price and that price is far too high....for me! I am famous enough, to those who matter. LOL
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Old 12-17-2011, 08:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
NK...in my household, yes.... I would definitely have a say in whether or not I got pregnant. I honestly don't think that JB would object to her using protection. I do think he respects and loves her enough for that. Their faith, however, does put him as the absolute head. He is the one who needs to step up and say, "I will not allow this anymore. I'm going to stop it NOW before I lose you."

Fin...I do hear what you're saying and do agree. Anytime you allow yourself to be displayed in the media, you run a terrible risk of losing your "cloak of privacy". I would be blown away if one of more of their children end up in the limelight, due to their actions. What are the odds that at least one will stray from "their faith"? Pretty high I would guess. LOL Like I said, I would NEVER be a part of something like that. In my late 20s, my father expressed his disappointment, that I had chosen to keep my musical talents local....to not pursue the life of "fame". I let him know that my music pleased myself and others...and there was NOTHING less appealing to me than becoming "famous", becoming the kind of person who was victimized constantly by crazed fans, becoming the kind of person who couldn't go anywhere without having my privacy invaded. Fame has its price and that price is far too high....for me! I am famous enough, to those who matter. LOL
Well, I wish you had shared your talents with us - but I digress.

The kicker of it is, in your situation you were an adult and could make an informed decision regarding being in the limelight.

These kids are (mostly) far from being adults, and have had their privacy irrevocably taken from them. And I know from experience the absolute bitter and tragic path that that can take. I think they're highly irresponsible for making that decision on behalf of the kids.

And that goes for The Gosselins, The Rolloffs, The Toddlers and Tiaras, The Dance Moms, The Housewives and especially The Jenners, in regard to their underage daughters. Anybody who puts their child's everyday life on TV is just courting disaster. There's not even any reason to do it, it's not like these parents were already famous and the kids were famous by default.

Geez, even Courtney Love has done a better job of keeping her kid out of the spotlight.
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Old 12-17-2011, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Well, I wish you had shared your talents with us - but I digress.

The kicker of it is, in your situation you were an adult and could make an informed decision regarding being in the limelight.

These kids are (mostly) far from being adults, and have had their privacy irrevocably taken from them. And I know from experience the absolute bitter and tragic path that that can take. I think they're highly irresponsible for making that decision on behalf of the kids.

And that goes for The Gosselins, The Rolloffs, The Toddlers and Tiaras, The Dance Moms, The Housewives and especially The Jenners, in regard to their underage daughters. Anybody who puts their child's everyday life on TV is just courting disaster. There's not even any reason to do it, it's not like these parents were already famous and the kids were famous by default.

Geez, even Courtney Love has done a better job of keeping her kid out of the spotlight.

Again, I wholeheartedly agree! And.....Fin, it wasn't just for MY sake, safety and privacy that I made the decisions that I made. I did it for my kids as well. Yeah, they'd have had "bragging rights" if I'd have gone further, but they also would have had less Mom and "could" have been put in situations which might have caused the stress....and worse! I believe there are a whole lot of great people out there, gifted in many, many ways, who choose privacy and safety, over fame. I have met quite a few, who like me, know that they're simply not willing to sacrifice the things that they truly hold sacred.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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I also wonder about the wisdom of continuing to have children. Jim could easily have a vasectomy. That would not be using birth control, but practicing common sense. Enough is enough. Michelle's body is giving clear signs, that it is done birthing babies. She and the baby would have died without medical intervention on the last birth, and her body teminated this pregnancy. Common sense would tell anyone--God is giving some pretty clear signs that it is time to stop.

I doubt that will happen though. Michelle will just keep getting pregnant to please her husband. And if she dies...well, that is "God's Will", and Jim can go get him a new young wife to have more babies with, and be a Mama to the current bunch. Just watch. I hope I am wrong.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,525,225 times
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Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I also wonder about the wisdom of continuing to have children. Jim could easily have a vasectomy. That would not be using birth control, but practicing common sense. Enough is enough. Michelle's body is giving clear signs, that it is done birthing babies. She and the baby would have died without medical intervention on the last birth, and her body teminated this pregnancy. Common sense would tell anyone--God is giving some pretty clear signs that it is time to stop.

I doubt that will happen though. Michelle will just keep getting pregnant to please her husband. And if she dies...well, that is "God's Will", and Jim can go get him a new young wife to have more babies with, and be a Mama to the current bunch. Just watch. I hope I am wrong.
I hope you're wrong too, Jasper. I hope she's not having them just to please him. I almost feel as if it's a deep psychological need in Michelle to keep having them....like she feels it was a punishment from God, losing that first baby...you know? It's like they've interpreted that miscarriage as God's wrath for trying to stop a pregnancy from happening. "If it's God's will that we become pregnant, then it's God's will. We have no right to try to stop something that is God's will."

Like you, I believe that God IS trying to tell them something and they're not listening. I believe that He has BEEN trying to tell them. Look at that last pregnancy? "Hellooooo, is there anyone home? Are you listening? Turn up the volume!"

As for JB marrying someone else to be those kids' mommy? I would seriously question the quality of brain matter of someone who would step into a household with that many children. You'd have to really be desperate for fame....AND a glutton for punishment. Those kids would have to work full-time, teaching a new mommy the ins and outs of running a household like that. You can bet those KIDS would BE the ones running that household.
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Old 08-24-2012, 04:38 PM
 
Location: 112 Ocean Avenue
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When it comes to the Duggar family, apparently 19 isn’t enough.
Michelle and Jim Bob say they’re still trying to make it an even 20 – though they know that might be tough.

Duggars start new season, going for baby 20 - TODAYMoms

I think its high time Jim Bob met Lorena Bobbit.
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Old 08-24-2012, 06:03 PM
 
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"An even twenty". Okay. That has never been my goal in life, to have twenty kids. Different strokes for different folks. My value system is so different from those folks, we could be from another planet.

Again though, I hope that this goal does not endanger Michelle's life. This makes no sense to me. She almost died before, then had a miscarriage. God is giving her some clear signs to make some other goals.
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