Preschool Afterschool Nightmare

[Hedgehog_Mom]

My kids used to have after-school meltdowns. It happened to both of them during their first year of school, although they were different ages, one had a shorter day, and both were older than your son when it happened to them.

I think it's just the strain of being a good kid all day at school.

That and they learn a lot of negative behaviors from watching other kids in their classes, and those kids get a lot of attention for their negative behaviors, so when our kids come home, having been good all day, they want to try out what they saw the other kids doing and see if they get some attention. I don't respond to things like that...if you want to try whining to see if you get attention like the little boy at school did, then try it at school, but at home, mommy can't hear or see you when you're doing it.

What helped my kids was routine. And naps...when my oldest was in kindergarten, she napped for two hours every day when she got home.

[omigawd]

Originally Posted by Mattie

How is that any of your business?

Having to work is hardly "bs" in this economy, it's a reality.

Sorry, back to the topic at hand...

It's the world's business because the OP put it on a message board for all the world to discuss


You should have read my whole post.... I didn't say having to work is "bs".

[omigawd]

Originally Posted by num1baby

Please show me ANYWHERE that there are "many jobs". That is not really the topic though. If you would like to discuss that, there are plenty of threads on here about working moms. This is about helping a mom finding a solution to her problem with a toddler.

Well, I've been considering leaving my job and there are at least four places where I can get another job with comparable pay and benefits. People who claim "there are no jobs out there" aren't looking hard enough.

As for the kid in day care? Six hours is too long for a 2 year old to be in a setting like that. The kid is TWO YEARS OLD.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Well, I've been considering leaving my job and there are at least four places where I can get another job with comparable pay and benefits. People who claim "there are no jobs out there" aren't looking hard enough.

As for the kid in day care? Six hours is too long for a 2 year old to be in a setting like that. The kid is TWO YEARS OLD.

OMG do you know how many full time working parents there are out there and how many of their kids are in daycare all day every day? you act like this is unheard of. This is 6 hours 3 x/week. 18 hours/week. Many many kids go to day care for more like 50 hours/week. the kid is 2. 2 yos have tantrums whether they go to school or not. Save your indignation. This is not the place for it.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Well, I've been considering leaving my job and there are at least four places where I can get another job with comparable pay and benefits.

Good for you. Very happy for you. Applause, applause, applause.

Now back to our regularly scheduled thread which isn't about your working situation.

[num1baby]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Well, I've been considering leaving my job and there are at least four places where I can get another job with comparable pay and benefits. People who claim "there are no jobs out there" aren't looking hard enough.

As for the kid in day care? Six hours is too long for a 2 year old to be in a setting like that. The kid is TWO YEARS OLD.

You are very lucky that you have that flexibility. Not everyone is. We posted a job at my office last week paying $8.50 per hour with no benefits and requiring a Bachelor's degree. We got 796 resumes within 3 hours. All of them had degrees and were willing to work for that amount of money. Again though, that is not the point.

How is 6 hours 3 times a week too much time for a kid in preschool? Especially considering some of that is nap time and lunch time? 18 hours a week is a tiny amount of time.

[eastwesteastagain]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Well, I've been considering leaving my job and there are at least four places where I can get another job with comparable pay and benefits. People who claim "there are no jobs out there" aren't looking hard enough.

As for the kid in day care? Six hours is too long for a 2 year old to be in a setting like that. The kid is TWO YEARS OLD.

Well, I'm glad you are in a field where you have options. But "oh please" in response to people saying there are no jobs aren't looking hard enough. Spoken like someone who either hasn't had to do it themselves or thinks their field/area of the country is representative of all fields/all areas of the country.

Either way, many people have jobs that they can't easily switch to night or weekend hours to avoid sending their children to daycare for *gasp* six hours a day. I wonder what you'd say to someone who sends their three month old to daycare (which many people do).

To return to the OP:
Mrs X, I was also thinking that in addition to being tired, Toddler X may just have a hard time transitioning from the structure of school to the structure of home? I know my son takes a little while to adjust from one setting to the other (and I swear he "uses up" all of his good behavior at school sometimes! ).

[JustJulia]

MrsX, you talk about "teachers" and "classrooms," but your boy is a toddler. He's, what, two? Maybe he just isn't ready for a classroom. I think three is pushing it. At two, he might just be better suited to running around outside, playing with toys, listening to stories, and having some loose structure. Being in a classroom where he is expected to sit quietly and learn things might simply exhaust his little self.

[CD's Only Mrs. X]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Okay.... here's my advice on your topic. Don't drop a 2 year old off at a center for 6 hours a day. It's much too long for him to be apart from you and he's probably overwhelmed, exhausted, and hungry by the time he gets home.

He is not at a day care center he is at a private preschool.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly8

+1
Exactly Lawmom!

Picture the springy snakes in a can that spring out when you open it.

OP, you have a lot to be proud of. He's being such a big boy at school by following the rules and minding his manners! This shows how smart he is. He acts out with you because your his 'safe' person to fall apart with. It is very stressful to keep it all together like Lawmom said. This is not uncommon and he will outgrow this.

I think he's napping enough and has too much energy. What if you take a snack and let him play at the playground- weather permitting - or an indoor playground? Climbing, jumping, running are great ways for him to blow off steam. He's been following directions and playing by the rules all day. Self-directed active play will give him a sense of control.

Something that helped with the dish, glass struggle when my children were younger- putting their dishes low enough so they could choose their own. I have a large, deep drawer in my home now, but used a lower cabinet shelf in our last home. A lot of misbehavior is about control.
Allowing them control in reasonable situations does wonders sometimes.
After you wash the dishes- let him put 'his dishes in his cabinet' and praise him for his help.

Hang in there mom!

Thank you for your wonderful post Dragonfly.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom

My kids used to have after-school meltdowns. It happened to both of them during their first year of school, although they were different ages, one had a shorter day, and both were older than your son when it happened to them.

I think it's just the strain of being a good kid all day at school.

That and they learn a lot of negative behaviors from watching other kids in their classes, and those kids get a lot of attention for their negative behaviors, so when our kids come home, having been good all day, they want to try out what they saw the other kids doing and see if they get some attention. I don't respond to things like that...if you want to try whining to see if you get attention like the little boy at school did, then try it at school, but at home, mommy can't hear or see you when you're doing it.

What helped my kids was routine. And naps...when my oldest was in kindergarten, she napped for two hours every day when she got home.

Thank you for your wonderful post Hedgehog Mom!

Originally Posted by JustJulia

MrsX, you talk about "teachers" and "classrooms," but your boy is a toddler. He's, what, two? Maybe he just isn't ready for a classroom. I think three is pushing it. At two, he might just be better suited to running around outside, playing with toys, listening to stories, and having some loose structure. Being in a classroom where he is expected to sit quietly and learn things might simply exhaust his little self.

Today I was at his school and went through a some of his routine. I volunteer on ocassion and this was one of those days. I decided to peek in on his classroom to see what was going on and Lawmom hit the nail on the head. He is trying to darn hard to be well behaved at school. It is not something that we instilled in him, it seems he has a strong liking to his TA and wants to impress her. Every time he does something out of order or is rough housing with one of the boys and she points it out to them all he is the first one to say Sorry Ms. May and buck up.

I have noticed is that he really loves being in school, around his friends and teachers. It would be ashame to pull him because I took him out early today and he was upset. I knew he was tired because it was naptime but I thought since I was going home I might as well take him with me and let him nap there.

I did speak to the teachers again about it and they said he really seems to enjoy the lessons provided which are very simple by the way and loves the arts, crafts and playtime in motion.

Gathering from the advice I have been given by some great posters, I am starting to see it just maybe an issue of control and security. He is secure with me and he feels he can lash out his frustrations. I have moved his little bowls and cups to the cabinets below and he is happy with that. It worked at dinner time and spared me a huge headache of changing plates for the umpteenth time.

Thank you all who have respond kindly and I consider this thread closed and done.