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Old 12-02-2011, 10:12 AM
 
2,379 posts, read 4,205,401 times
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Your post makes me really sad ... for this little boy, not you. I have an 18month old and I would die if I thought she had to spend time with some who "didn't like her" . If he's sick, make his dad take him to the DOCTOR!

We don't use wipes everytime if it's only pee here. That's what our peditrication told us to do - our daughter had a pretty bad diaper rash at about 6 weeks and she said it was due to the wipes being too irratating/drying and that urine is sterile. It seemed gross to me at first too...but she ws miserable with the rash and hasn't had any since then. Cost of the wipes isn't an issue for us - but we also use washclothes with a little warm water. She gets a bath every night and I take her in the shower with me in the a.m. most of the time.

 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:17 AM
 
63 posts, read 72,314 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakeneko View Post
Your post makes me really sad ... for this little boy, not you. I have an 18month old and I would die if I thought she had to spend time with some who "didn't like her" . If he's sick, make his dad take him to the DOCTOR!

We don't use wipes everytime if it's only pee here. That's what our peditrication told us to do - our daughter had a pretty bad diaper rash at about 6 weeks and she said it was due to the wipes being too irratating/drying and that urine is sterile. It seemed gross to me at first too...but she ws miserable with the rash and hasn't had any since then. Cost of the wipes isn't an issue for us - but we also use washclothes with a little warm water. She gets a bath every night and I take her in the shower with me in the a.m. most of the time.

Im not mean to the kid. I just am annoyed personally. When hes at our home Im so preoccupied with my dd that I wouldnt have time for him anyways. His dad is the one who takes care of him. He isnt my son or step son so I dont feel I SHOULD take care of him. If my bf and I ever split and he had a new girlfriend I would not want her to take care of my daughter either. Now if we were to get married then that would be different, I would be his step mom.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,094,389 times
Reputation: 39642
You bit off more than you can chew and now this boy is going to suffer for it unless you make some conscious choices to do better by him.

He is your daughters brother whether you like it or not, and don't think for a second he doesn't sense your dislike and distaste of him, even at his young age.

Time to seek some professional help for all your inappropriate feelings so you can get a grip on them.

Make an appt with someone asap.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:22 AM
 
63 posts, read 72,314 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You bit off more than you can chew and now this boy is going to suffer for it unless you make some conscious choices to do better by him.

He is your daughters brother whether you like it or not, and don't think for a second he doesn't sense your dislike and distaste of him, even at his young age.

Time to seek some professional help for all your inappropriate feelings so you can get a grip on them.

Make an appt with someone asap.

Yeah I was thinking that. I need someone to talk to about these feelings. My boyfriend is very understanding and does his best to listen but its not the same.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:23 AM
 
758 posts, read 1,578,915 times
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Yes it is wrong to have such feelings of disdain for an 18 month old baby. Just to be clear he is still a BABY. I know he seems huge and can do a lot more things than your 3 month old but when your baby is 18 months old you will see that she is still a baby.

Get some professional help.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:24 AM
 
11,110 posts, read 9,022,860 times
Reputation: 14393
Quote:
Originally Posted by soconfused112 View Post
MY DAUGHTER COMES BEFORE ANY AND EVERYBODY. Bottom line. I dont care who you are.

Anyways. Im not taking anything from anybody. If anything his bm and his son are taking from ME.
A couple of things. When you marry a man (or woman in men's case) you marry their children. Realizing that at the outset would have been helpful to you, but you are where you are.

Be aware, for right or for wrong, child support is usually calculated with the notion that Dad takes care of needs during visitation.

Quote:
When moneys low or his hours got cut who pays the child support? ME! So ultimately they are taking from my daughter. And no I dont expect child support to cover every thing but child support plus Welfare PLUS foodstamps what the hell else is there to buy???

And he goes to work 10p-3a and school 8a-5p/ When does he have time to get a SECOND job??

SMH

I'm 22 by the way.
You are very angry. I don't doubt it. I have all sorts of helpful thoughts. Right now I think you want to vent. When you want some ideas on how to solve the problem(s) and gain peace in you home, give us a shout. You will get some good thoughts.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:29 AM
 
63 posts, read 72,314 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
A couple of things. When you marry a man (or woman in men's case) you marry their children. Realizing that at the outset would have been helpful to you, but you are where you are.

Be aware, for right or for wrong, child support is usually calculated with the notion that Dad takes care of needs during visitation.



You are very angry. I don't doubt it. I have all sorts of helpful thoughts. Right now I think you want to vent. When you want some ideas on how to solve the problem(s) and gain peace in you home, give us a shout. You will get some good thoughts.

I am angry. No doubt. But I am ready to change. I dont want to feel this way. I want his son happy. I want him to feel happy at our house because the plan is to as some point get full custody of him after my bf graduates. So the feelings do need to change.

Before I had my daughter I never felt this way about him. Though again I never was very involved since he isnt my son and his dad and I arent married.

Im not sure if its the overload of work and my daughter and having to clean and cook and all the other stuff. Im not sure but any advice you have I would greatly appreciate.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:33 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,736 posts, read 18,313,879 times
Reputation: 24559
Quote:
Originally Posted by soconfused112 View Post
Im not mean to the kid. I just am annoyed personally. When hes at our home Im so preoccupied with my dd that I wouldnt have time for him anyways. His dad is the one who takes care of him. He isnt my son or step son so I dont feel I SHOULD take care of him. If my bf and I ever split and he had a new girlfriend I would not want her to take care of my daughter either. Now if we were to get married then that would be different, I would be his step mom.

By the time your daughter is 18 months old, it's quite possible that your boyfriend will have moved on to another woman and had a child with her. Imagine your daughter spending weekends at another woman's house, when the woman doesn't like her, isn't interested in her, and doesn't even want to share diaper wipes with her. How would you feel? Wouldn't your heart be breaking every time you had to send your daughter over there, knowing that the other woman wouldn't even care for her as well as a babysitter would?

Saying that you're just the girlfriend and not the step mom and you don't have to care for your daughter's half-brother at all is immature. If you're living with the man and you have a child with him, then you need to love his child because you love him, and care for his child like your own. If you don't feel that way about him, then quit supporting him and make him move out. Find yourself a man who doesn't have any other kids. Your attitude is not good for the little boy and it is only going to get worse as he gets older.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:38 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 28,819,254 times
Reputation: 32185
I'm going to give you some straight talk. If you don't want to hear it feel free to skip my post. (And I'm giving you a massive break because I figure you're still hormonal.)

Go get the big girl panties out of the drawer and pull them up as far as they'll go. It was your decision to have a child with a man you are not married to and who has a child by a former girlfriend.

I feel sorry for the little guy. It's obvious you hate his mother because she's on welfare and you have to work. Well, that's the way life is. Life is not fair. Meanwhile, this innocent little child is being deprived of a wipe (and it sounds like a Kleenex) because you have to pay for it? Pul-eeze. Beachmel has already clued you in on the washcloths. I'm going to clue you in on a little boy who is an innocent in all of this. He is also your child's half-brother. That's for the rest of their lives.

This little boy needs a hug and a kiss and to be told how precious he is. He does not need to have you sending out MASSIVE vibes that you resent his presence.

Please. Think about this little guy. You made your decision when you got pregnant. He's a little human being who has done nothing wrong other than having a messy bottom and a runny nose. And be the son of someone you don't like. I feel for him. My heart breaks for him.
 
Old 12-02-2011, 10:40 AM
 
63 posts, read 72,314 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
By the time your daughter is 18 months old, it's quite possible that your boyfriend will have moved on to another woman and had a child with her. Imagine your daughter spending weekends at another woman's house, when the woman doesn't like her, isn't interested in her, and doesn't even want to share diaper wipes with her. How would you feel? Wouldn't your heart be breaking every time you had to send your daughter over there, knowing that the other woman wouldn't even care for her as well as a babysitter would?

Saying that you're just the girlfriend and not the step mom and you don't have to care for your daughter's half-brother at all is immature. If you're living with the man and you have a child with him, then you need to love his child because you love him, and care for his child like your own. If you don't feel that way about him, then quit supporting him and make him move out. Find yourself a man who doesn't have any other kids. Your attitude is not good for the little boy and it is only going to get worse as he gets older.

Im not quite sure why everyone is making it seem like im just beating the kids and not feeding him or something. I dont yell at him hit him or anything.

I feel like if my bf and I break up and he got a new GIRLFRIEND (not wife gf) that I wouldnt want her to play mommy to my baby. Its not her place just like it isnt mine. And its not just diaper wipes. Its everything. Im scrapping to make ends meet while this chick is living it up for NOTHING. How hard is it to provide wipes for your own kid and send food when those things dont cost her anything. But for me $30 in food is hitting hard. I make enough to support myself and my daughter. No one else.

And as for my bf moving on to someone else. HA! thats funny. LMAO. Wow that made my day.
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