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Old 12-03-2011, 03:31 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,158,317 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Definitely learned. It's a type of non-verbal communication. Eye rolling expresses something specific in our culture. (Though other cultures may have it because of TV and movies.) But no child knows what eye rolling means until it is taught to him by someone else. (Or he/she just picks up on it from being exposed to it.)
Definitely LEARNED I agree!

Toddler X rolled his eyes at me when I told him he needed to save his preschool lunches for preschool and got upset when I handed him a pb sandwich instead. Boyyyyyyy if it wasn't because he was two years old and cute....

I would have unleashed the dragon like Julia said.
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Old 12-03-2011, 03:42 PM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,891,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carmelita189 View Post
back talk = back hand, just once, well placed to get their attention.
Lovely. There is nothing wrong with talking to your child and telling them that it's not acceptable to talk that way. If it's pretty bad, take something away that they love. If they are just being moody you can warn them that if the behavior continues then they will lose such and such. I have told my child that she has every right to get angry, but it's never okay to be disrespectful. I have never had to resort to hitting. My feeling is that if you never let your child express anger they are going to grow up and be very rebellious, resentful teens who are raging inside. What you need to teach them is how to be angry and how to express this anger in a way that is not rude or disrespectful. It can be done, and will serve them well in life.
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Old 12-03-2011, 03:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I've had 3 year olds roll their eyes at me -- it's the funniest thing to see. I try to be tough but it's hard when you want to bust out laughing.

Is eye-rolling an innate behavior or is it learned?
I think it's learned, but from where is anybody's guess. I sure didn't roll my eyes at mine, but she started, at 3, not only to roll her eyes but ALSO to let out this heavy sigh, like I just said the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. It was almost funny...but I was thinking, she's THREE! What is she going to be doing in 10 years?

But I did find that the threatening stare got her attitude back in check very quickly. I never had to go beyond that.
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Old 12-04-2011, 12:19 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,782,280 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
My older child (8) has been getting very mouthy with me lately. He rolls his eyes, makes smart remarks, back talks and groans when I tell him to do something. How would you handle this?

Of course, he is a perfect angel at school!
Not trying to be rude but if he does that with you is because he feels no consequences for his behavior.
The environment to me has led for him to feel free to do so. He still is young enough for you to take care of that.
Granted, do not expect to smile and be happy if they are told to do things. There is a difference between a natural human reaction when having to do something you do not like and being rude and disrespectful.
Our kids did not go that far with my wife at that age. Whenever they attempted privileges were taken away, sent to their room, etc. When they had to go to their room and they saw we did not entertain their tantrum, they realized it was useless to get our attention with that. Take care.
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Old 12-04-2011, 02:53 AM
 
Location: san antonio, tx
609 posts, read 832,834 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
My older child (8) has been getting very mouthy with me lately. He rolls his eyes, makes smart remarks, back talks and groans when I tell him to do something. How would you handle this?

Of course, he is a perfect angel at school!
I come from the 'old school' of thought: spare the rod, spoil the child and a child should be seen and not heard, etc. Of course, I don't raise my child this way, but we've had our share of difficulties. Not sure if this applies to your situation, but a couple really great books that I've found helpful are "Parenting with Love & Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay and "The Difficult Child" by Stanley Turecki. There are some excellent techniques in both books.
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Old 12-04-2011, 02:59 AM
 
Location: san antonio, tx
609 posts, read 832,834 times
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Default P.s.

You'll find that everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your child and what they think you are doing wrong as a parent. But, EVERY situation is different - what works for some children does not work for others. You just have to trust your instincts and, like I posted earlier, I've found that seeking help from professionals (such as books written by child psycologists) is most helpful.
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Old 12-04-2011, 09:28 AM
 
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He isn't really a difficult child. He is actually a joy to have around. He's plucky, likes to help, enjoys learning and can tell a good joke (haha). I agree that it is because of my reaction and interactions with him that has led to him feeling free to backtalk. Since he tends to be very mature for his age, I talk to him as such. It's hard to walk that fine line, kwim?
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Old 12-04-2011, 09:51 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 59,122,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
He isn't really a difficult child. He is actually a joy to have around. He's plucky, likes to help, enjoys learning and can tell a good joke (haha). I agree that it is because of my reaction and interactions with him that has led to him feeling free to backtalk. Since he tends to be very mature for his age, I talk to him as such. It's hard to walk that fine line, kwim?
I don't think it's all that hard to walk whatever line you choose to walk.

For me there is a line in the sand that my kids KNOW they cannot cross, for example they cannot, better not, dare not tell me to "f... off" or throw me the middle finger. However I don't really mind their facial expressions, they can even argue for a bit but if I'm telling them to pick up their mess or that they need to be home by a certain time, they're going to end up doing it.

I don't find eye-rolling to be all that awful. It's just their way of letting you know they don't like what you're telling them but it doesn't mean they intend to defy you. Nor does the big sigh means they intend to defy you, to me it's more a loud sigh of resignation.....and that "I can't wait until I'm old enough to move out of here" even when done by a 3 year old.
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Old 12-04-2011, 10:56 AM
 
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It's difficult for me, because I do want him to do what I say (like clean his room when I tell him to) but I also want and encourage him to speak his mind, even if I don't agree with what he is saying. Does that make sense?
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Old 12-04-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,186 posts, read 22,300,905 times
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You can certainly encourage him to speak his mind - even if he doesn't agree with you. But part of that is learning that one can do that without being disrespectful of the other person. Why not try to teach him that? Disagreement does not have to equal rudeness or disrespect. He will benefit much more from that lesson in the long run.

Also mean to say, I've overlooked an eyeroll or two in my parenting time, but not from an 8 year old. That is when you are setting the bar for what will be considered acceptable and normal behavior as they get older. It's much easier to back off a few times when you know they are going through a lot than it is to try to get things under control once it's out of control....make sense?
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