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Old 12-05-2011, 10:48 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,766,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Since we're talking about bedrooms: My kids' bedrooms were their sanctuaries. It was the place they could go to blow off steam. I wasn't at all keen on eye-rolling and back talking to me and my DH but once they were in their room and closed the door they could do it to their heart's content. Turn up the stereo. Plug in the guitar. Turn to a radio station I hated. Whatever. Everyone needs a place they can de-stress and get away from the person driving you nuts.

To a child that person is usually the parent, lol.
And as long as I can't HEAR all that stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Oh, yeah. I posted this a long time ago. To this day if they come visit us and a door slams they call out, "Sorry! Accident!"


I do have to say, for some reason, we don't have good slamming doors, not sure why-maybe the carpet or something slows them down...carpet on the stairs doesn't make for good stomping up the stairs either. Maybe I deprived our kids of this growing up?
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:58 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 2,370,470 times
Reputation: 2051
We don't have the eye rolling (yet). I was never an eye roller and DH isn't an eye roller either, so maybe we will be lucky enough to skip that.

DH and I have different responses to talking back. That is because we have different relationships with her. She is a "Daddy's girl" and just disappointment from him stops her in her tracks. It is different with me. I have learned that and have found other ways of dealing with her. DH looks at her and says "Excuse Me!?" She stops right away and apologizes. That doesn't work with me all of the time, so I found a method that does. I use the same method I use when she doesn't say please. If she talks back, I completely ignore her and pretend like I didn't hear her. When she tries to get my attention I just say "Oh! I didn't think you were talking to me because I know you would never talk to me that way." She stops and apologizes.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,749,867 times
Reputation: 19422
Good news update..... DS, after our "understanding" in regard to tone of voice...leading to zero Internet and zero telephone...has been so sweet, with speech as gentle as a lamb.
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Old 12-06-2011, 03:10 PM
 
15,245 posts, read 16,245,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
Lovely. There is nothing wrong with talking to your child and telling them that it's not acceptable to talk that way. If it's pretty bad, take something away that they love. If they are just being moody you can warn them that if the behavior continues then they will lose such and such. I have told my child that she has every right to get angry, but it's never okay to be disrespectful. I have never had to resort to hitting. My feeling is that if you never let your child express anger they are going to grow up and be very rebellious, resentful teens who are raging inside. What you need to teach them is how to be angry and how to express this anger in a way that is not rude or disrespectful. It can be done, and will serve them well in life.
Agree with all of this^^^^.

We all get angry with people, but learning how to express it respectfully can take some time. I tell my daughter (13) she can think whatever she wants about me but she still needs to talk to me in a respectful tone. I've also told her that it hurts my feelings when she's rude and that goes a long way, because she does love me to death. I have, on occasion, also said, "you can roll your eyes all you want, but you still have to clean the kitchen tonight."

And this year, I had to instigate a new rule, which is she must make eye contact when getting out of the car in the mornings. It utterly peeved me for her to just grab her stuff and go, barely even saying good-bye. She's gotten much better about that.
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Old 12-07-2011, 03:35 PM
 
7,901 posts, read 8,690,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
My older child (8) has been getting very mouthy with me lately. He rolls his eyes, makes smart remarks, back talks and groans when I tell him to do something. How would you handle this?

Of course, he is a perfect angel at school!
Mine does that too.

She's three. I think I'm in for a rough time.
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Old 12-07-2011, 03:36 PM
 
Location: CT
245 posts, read 420,927 times
Reputation: 203
To this day I still don't understand how eyerolling is bad.




Like, you mad bro?
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Old 12-08-2011, 05:54 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,783,472 times
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My 11 year daughter has been an eye roller for years and I have taken Julia's approach of the long, long stare at her when she says something disrespectful. I usually say something like, "Can you repeat that?," if something snarky is said. It usually gets the point across. My husband doesn't tolerate any kind of disrespect and the kids are always very good around him (he had a strict Southern upbringing).

Now when she gets mad, she does the glare, something that she perfected around the age of 4.
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Old 12-11-2011, 12:42 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,755,778 times
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The thing about is to address it, "do you have a problem? Let's hear it", and discuss how disrespctful that type of behavior is. I tell my kids that I am their "boss", and if they acted that way on a job, they would be fired. I can't "fire" them, but I can send them to their room.

Zero tolerance on that type of behavior. It is bratty.
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Old 12-11-2011, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,749,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
The thing about is to address it, "do you have a problem? Let's hear it", and discuss how disrespctful that type of behavior is. I tell my kids that I am their "boss", and if they acted that way on a job, they would be fired. I can't "fire" them, but I can send them to their room.

Zero tolerance on that type of behavior. It is bratty.
Jasper, if you have your child's future success in life,first and foremost in your heart, that kind of behavior and disrespect MUST not be tolerated! How can we say we've done the best we can, if we're afraid to "offend" our children by correcting their offensive behavior? We're setting our kids up to fail if we fail to set boundaries.
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Old 12-11-2011, 06:57 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,921,561 times
Reputation: 47490
U carefully teach them
that those are techniques that the poor and ignorant use when they get called on their stuff
is not the path to progress but keeps the down and out in the pit
Shoo jee your very best (Japanese buddist expression)
The light exposes dirt that must be cleaned don't hide from the light do not hate the light welcome it
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