What age to have your first child? (party, school, father)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 21 and I already have a baby. But talking to a few of my co workers everyone says something different. Most say 30 though. I dont know that seems a little old to just be starting a family. What do you guys think?
From studies I have read at about 26 to marry. From there I take it is about the same age to have a baby.
Reason? I understand that around that age men and women do have the brain fully developed when it comes to logic and also experience in life.
The older angle is that you should be financially able to support that child, not the state with some type of social program. You want to have a baby, you support it. Take care.
The reality is that no one can tell you. A study or a book cannot tell you when you are ready to have a child. Every person is different. Some people are not capabale of parenting when they get pregnant, but when they become a parent, suddenly they change. A lot has to do with whether you have given up self centerendness that we all have in teen/college years. Some people never give it up. Some people never get it. It could be at 5 10 40 or 50. IMO that is the most important factor in "are you ready for Children"
I was 29. It was a perfect age for me. I got married at 27 so it was nice to have a few years to honeymoon.
Baby #2 came when I was 31. Again, it was a nice age. We were financially secure enough for me to take a few years off from work.
Baby #3 came when I was 40 (a blessed surprise). She lights up our lives, but it would have been much easier if I had had her at age 33-35. It's hard at times having an 8-year gap between my youngest children and it means that my dh and I will have to work longer to put her through college. No regrets at all, I just would have done things a bit differently if I knew then what I know now.
I don't think there's a perfect age to start a family. It all depends on your relationship, your ability to support a child, and whether you're mature enough to put a child first.
Im sure the child would appreciate life in general. Wow they dont have a mom or they dont have a dad depending on the situation. At least they were BORN. Im sure anybody would appreciate that.
Wasn't going to indulge in this but...
If I child wasn't born it wouldn't know it wasn't born. And I am not about to get into a debate about this.
Also, am I the only 25 year old here? I couldn't imagine having a kid! And to the person who is planning on making $95K after grad school. Lets back track. Did you do great in college and graduate top of your class? Did you apply to grad school? Did you graduate from grad school? Do you have your offer letter stating that you will be making $95k? Until you have the offer letter in your hand DON'T EVER assume that you will make any sort of money that you read about online or in a course catalog.
30? lol! Maybe old in the Ozarks, but I was 41. And where I live, late 30s to early 40s is the norm for having babies. I guess a lot of people are enjoying their 20s and 30s, then waiting until they can really afford kids.
I laughed at that too. I am 25 and my mom is 56 and my dad is 64! AND I have a YOUNGER sister!
25 seems like you past that "I want to go out and party" age and before that "I want to travel with my SO and enjoy my golden years soon" age.
What? Really? When did this happen. I didn't realize that you settle down at 25 and then the golden years started at 26. I guess I get to retire in 6 months!
Wow. After reading all of your responses, I am starting to feel like I was young when I had DD even though I had her when I was 25.5 (the average age for a first time baby they year I had her was 25.5, lol). I was the first of my friends to have a baby, but they started having them soon after. Of course, my group of friends were all homeowners before 25, married for a couple of years, and somewhat settled in their lives (as much as you can be at 25). I guess I just happened to pick a group of friends who all wanted to settle down at a pretty young age. I really don't think I would have been as good of a mom if I had her before 25 because I just don't think many people are really ready to put themselves after a child much earlier than that age. I do sometimes wonder though if I would be a better mother if I was older and a little more settled in life before I had her.
Sorry if that was kind of rambling. I was just typing what I felt and it all just kind of flowed out.
Wow. After reading all of your responses, I am starting to feel like I was young when I had DD even though I had her when I was 25.5 (the average age for a first time baby they year I had her was 25.5, lol). I was the first of my friends to have a baby, but they started having them soon after. Of course, my group of friends were all homeowners before 25, married for a couple of years, and somewhat settled in their lives (as much as you can be at 25). I guess I just happened to pick a group of friends who all wanted to settle down at a pretty young age. I really don't think I would have been as good of a mom if I had her before 25 because I just don't think many people are really ready to put themselves after a child much earlier than that age. I do sometimes wonder though if I would be a better mother if I was older and a little more settled in life before I had her.
Sorry if that was kind of rambling. I was just typing what I felt and it all just kind of flowed out.
Most women where I live seem to have their first baby around ages 16-22 and then there seems to be another peak around ages 27-30.
Teen pregnancy was a major problem when I was in high school. In my 11th grade, there were probably 10 girls that got pregnant and had a baby. In my 9th grade year, there were about 3 or 4, 10th grade: this increased to 5-7 and fell when I reached the 12th grade, this dropped to around 3 or 4. My school was also smaller than most, there were about 1300 students per year.
I really was trying to stay out of this I really was. Buttttttt......what if a pregnant wife loses her husband during the pregnancy? Should she put the baby up for adoption? I mean the baby DESERVES 2 parents right? It would be unfair to the baby for the mom to raise her child alone.
Death of a spouse/partner is a whole other ball game.
And no a surviving spouse should not give their baby up for adoption unless they really can't cope and aren't able to care for the baby.
Do the research, educate yourself on this issue. Psychologically there is a huge difference in being the child of a single mom by choice and the child of a widow.
A child who's mother or father dies grows up KNOWING they had a parent who cared - big difference for the child who only gets a "sperm donor".
A child is not a doll to play with, a child is not a solution to a mental problem or a marital problem, a child is not someone to always love only you. A child will grow to be a real person. They will go on to have their own life. (how will you feel with an empty nest and no partner??) A child is a continuation of our gene pool, and selfishly a gift to ourselves. When you are ready to parent, support, and let the child be whatever he will be, you are ready to have a child. But support includes not only money, but time, sacrifice, and love. Do you have it to give now?? When will you???
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
