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Old 12-18-2011, 08:46 AM
 
Location: In Line For The E Ticket Ride
20,517 posts, read 10,908,951 times
Reputation: 21923
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanu86 View Post
I live with my father, stepmother, their 4 year old daughter (my sister). We live in a big house but they're so loud and obnoxous and I live here to spend time with them before I move far away and save enough to outright buy a house. I'm sure its normal because of my age and I'm male and my interests are very different than theirs. But I guess I'm making this topic because I overwhelmly just don't feel good around them. I feel a negative energy which is uncomfortable.

Maybe I want to hear that it's normal and the reason why it's ok to feel this way. I should mention that I sometimes hate my stepmother with a passion, though I don't show it. I think she influences my father to much and because of her they're both lazy chai drinking gassers who try to get on my good side with offering to buy me nice electronics, which I have no desire for. We lived together for years since I was a boy and I've came and gone a few times and lived by myself working etc.

But boy now I just want to get far away from them and have some peace to focus on things that I want to do without them sucking my energy. They're also at the age now when they need me more than I need them but they push their lifestyle on me and try to bribe me with material things but I still want to get away from them. Is that bad? Anyone experience this themself?
First your stepmother "influences" your father because she's MARRIED to him. That's what married people do. They are following the ways of the universe.

Sounds like you don't like chai. Have you tried it? It's quite yummy and leads many on a path of coolness of being.

They BUY you electronics? Cool. Wait, (Hummmmmmmm - I'm tuning in) they buy you NICE electronics? An even better most excelent state of coolness. Don't suppose you say thanks or are you too busy hating your step mother because she's..... your step mother. Hate interupts your internal harmony. Burn some incense. Material things have a place in the world. Use them as calming influences. Get a "Chant" CD to increase the good vibes and lower the chance that they may suck your energy.

What's their lifestyle? Your lifestyle is bummin' off the old geezers and complaining about them. Mellowness is needed to reach nirvana. I suggest some Tai Chi.

I tuned into your karma and all the negative energy is coming from you. Time for a little TM which may enlighten you to find the path of gratefulness.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-18-2011 at 09:00 AM..

 
Old 12-18-2011, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,384 posts, read 2,859,555 times
Reputation: 2317
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanu86 View Post
I live with my father, stepmother, their 4 year old daughter (my sister). We live in a big house but they're so loud and obnoxous and I live here to spend time with them before I move far away and save enough to outright buy a house. I'm sure its normal because of my age and I'm male and my interests are very different than theirs. But I guess I'm making this topic because I overwhelmly just don't feel good around them. I feel a negative energy which is uncomfortable.

Maybe I want to hear that it's normal and the reason why it's ok to feel this way. I should mention that I sometimes hate my stepmother with a passion, though I don't show it. I think she influences my father to much and because of her they're both lazy chai drinking gassers who try to get on my good side with offering to buy me nice electronics, which I have no desire for. We lived together for years since I was a boy and I've came and gone a few times and lived by myself working etc.

But boy now I just want to get far away from them and have some peace to focus on things that I want to do without them sucking my energy. They're also at the age now when they need me more than I need them but they push their lifestyle on me and try to bribe me with material things but I still want to get away from them. Is that bad? Anyone experience this themself?
Yes, its normal to not like how your parents live their lives and how you want to live yours differently.
My mom and I are two very different people and we clash all the time, so I understand completely.
Yes, its understandable that you don't like all the noise they make. I have a 17 year old brother who has speakers in his room that make the walls shake and on the weekends I have to be to work at 7am and during the week I work later and sleep in later as well and he is ALWAYS making noise.
Yes, its normal that you hate your steo mother because you think she influences your dad more so than usual in a direction you don't like to see him influenced.

Trust me I understand on all accounts but you sound like you are better on your feet than I am, just take the money you have saved up a house and put a chuck down on it for now and then you won't have to pay it off for so long.

I just escape to my friends house, he's the guy I like and when ever my brother is hogging the shower he lets me come over and shower at his place, and when I need to get some sleep and can't at my mom's house because DJ Makestoomuchnoise is bumping his bass, he lets me sleep.
Does your girlfriend have her own place? If so, why not escape to her place a few nights of the week???
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:02 AM
 
Location: United State of Texas
1,709 posts, read 2,109,114 times
Reputation: 1989
I'm 25 and I live with my parents.

^^^ If you can't see the real problem here, you need some help.

 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,590 posts, read 2,425,315 times
Reputation: 4171
Does anybody ever get roommates anymore? When I was first starting out (in the 70's) it was normal for people to share apartments to live more cheaply. At one time I had 3 roommates, then 2, then one and then was able to have my own place. Do people do this nowadays?
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,384 posts, read 2,859,555 times
Reputation: 2317
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
Does anybody ever get roommates anymore? When I was first starting out (in the 70's) it was normal for people to share apartments to live more cheaply. At one time I had 3 roommates, then 2, then one and then was able to have my own place. Do people do this nowadays?
Its hard to find people you can co-exist with in the same household.
Trust is the biggest thing, trusting who you live with is the hardest part.

IME, its hard to find people who aren't already roomed with someone and then setting down apartment rules is where you find out you just can't live with some people.
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,590 posts, read 2,425,315 times
Reputation: 4171
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Its hard to find people you can co-exist with in the same household.
Trust is the biggest thing, trusting who you live with is the hardest part.

IME, its hard to find people who aren't already roomed with someone and then setting down apartment rules is where you find out you just can't live with some people.
That's all part of growing up and making your own way. I had conflicts with my roommates to be sure, but these were situations that lasted maybe a year before things morphed for all of us. Find some co-workers or high school/college friends in the same boat and make it work.
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,590 posts, read 2,425,315 times
Reputation: 4171
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Its hard to find people you can co-exist with in the same household.
Trust is the biggest thing, trusting who you live with is the hardest part.

IME, its hard to find people who aren't already roomed with someone and then setting down apartment rules is where you find out you just can't live with some people.
And one more thing, don't let "hard" be a word you live by. On the scale of "easy" to "impossible", "hard" is just about every step in between. So it's a little work to make it happen. So what? If you're current situation is grating on you, put in some hard work and change it. The rewards are worth it. You will never escape "hard", you'll just learn to navigate it.
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,915 posts, read 4,747,583 times
Reputation: 18977
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
That's all part of growing up and making your own way. I had conflicts with my roommates to be sure, but these were situations that lasted maybe a year before things morphed for all of us. Find some co-workers or high school/college friends in the same boat and make it work.

Or hey, how about looking at your parents as the coolest room mates ever! Imagine sitting down with "room mates" and having a conversation like this, "Since YOU'RE paying the rent, utilities and food....here's what MY contribution will be. I'll take care of everything else...the cleaning, the yardwork, etc." Sweet freakin' deal if you ask me!!

Not too many people can move in with a room mate without totally getting irritated with them, once you get to know them. With your parents, you already know what to expect. One would think that you'd have as much tolerance for your parents' flaws as you would someone else's. I'm blown away at the sense of entitlement. Live with someone who is paying all of the rent/utilities/food....AND expect them to shape shift into the perfect person you want them to be. What are you doing for them, in return?!!
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:52 AM
Status: "Never have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
22,774 posts, read 14,333,680 times
Reputation: 28259
OP meet txtqueen---you are a match made in heaven. You would be the perfect roommates, you have so much in common.

I have a little tear in my eye--so proud to play the matchmaker.
 
Old 12-18-2011, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,384 posts, read 2,859,555 times
Reputation: 2317
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Or hey, how about looking at your parents as the coolest room mates ever! Imagine sitting down with "room mates" and having a conversation like this, "Since YOU'RE paying the rent, utilities and food....here's what MY contribution will be. I'll take care of everything else...the cleaning, the yardwork, etc." Sweet freakin' deal if you ask me!!

Not too many people can move in with a room mate without totally getting irritated with them, once you get to know them. With your parents, you already know what to expect. One would think that you'd have as much tolerance for your parents' flaws as you would someone else's. I'm blown away at the sense of entitlement. Live with someone who is paying all of the rent/utilities/food....AND expect them to shape shift into the perfect person you want them to be. What are you doing for them, in return?!!

But everyone in the household should be considerate of one another maybe the OP needs to sit down with everyone and maybe discuss some quiet hours or something.
I know on the weekends I have to work early but its my brothers time to hvae friends over and everything, which is why I compromise and give him till about 9 or 930 before I ask him to quiet it down. 10pm is the city time for things to be quiet and you can hear his base well outside the house, so I ask for him to quiet down about an hour before he has to anyways, I however won't be staying up until 10pm when I have to be up at 6am, I will be going to bed between 9pm and 930pm.
In return I am quiet on the weekdays at night when he has to go to school in the morning or since he's been sick he sleeps all day and I am quiet then as well.

Its all about give and take and people need to be considerate of each other in the house regardless of age, income, rent status etc.
You can't just be like its my house ill be as loud and obnoxious as I want anytime I want and if you don't like it too bad, well you CAN but then what kind of person are you?
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