U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 12-17-2011, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
2,913 posts, read 5,197,388 times
Reputation: 1170

Advertisements

I live with my father, stepmother, their 4 year old daughter (my sister). We live in a big house but they're so loud and obnoxous and I live here to spend time with them before I move far away and save enough to outright buy a house. I'm sure its normal because of my age and I'm male and my interests are very different than theirs. But I guess I'm making this topic because I overwhelmly just don't feel good around them. I feel a negative energy which is uncomfortable.

Maybe I want to hear that it's normal and the reason why it's ok to feel this way. I should mention that I sometimes hate my stepmother with a passion, though I don't show it. I think she influences my father to much and because of her they're both lazy chai drinking gassers who try to get on my good side with offering to buy me nice electronics, which I have no desire for. We lived together for years since I was a boy and I've came and gone a few times and lived by myself working etc.

But boy now I just want to get far away from them and have some peace to focus on things that I want to do without them sucking my energy. They're also at the age now when they need me more than I need them but they push their lifestyle on me and try to bribe me with material things but I still want to get away from them. Is that bad? Anyone experience this themself?

 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:04 PM
 
43,017 posts, read 50,400,919 times
Reputation: 28784
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanu86 View Post
Maybe I want to hear that it's normal and the reason why it's ok to feel this way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanu86 View Post
We lived together for years since I was a boy and I've came and gone a few times and lived by myself working etc.
It's perfectly normal to feel that way after you move back in once you've lived by yourself. You were used to freedom, now it's limited. It's time to move out.

I once stayed with my parents for a few months when I moved back into town. I was about your age. The house was super loud. My father's hearing was deminishing (not deaf) and the TV seemed to be blaring. But it mostly had to do with being used to having no noise when I was living by myself, except when I turned on something that made noise. So the noise level really taxed me when I returned home. I would have never stayed there for an indefinite time as an adult. Your peace of mind is more important than purchasing property earlier. Go rent an apartment.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,245 posts, read 1,568,102 times
Reputation: 1321
Move out to a cheap apartment, it will do your relationship with them wonders. BTW, if you have 4 year old little sister, I doubt highly that they are both "at an age when they need you more...."
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:13 PM
 
2,679 posts, read 2,120,108 times
Reputation: 3648
It is normal and to be expected.

My 24 year old graduated from college and has been trying to get a job and it hasn't been easy. on any level.

but i know the day will come that she will be gone, out on her own, and i will miss her so I treasure each day. still two women in one house can get on each other's nerves.

So it is normal, just appreciate the good and pull together your funds to move on as you do need to do.

good luck
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Peoples Republic of Cali
9,593 posts, read 4,855,846 times
Reputation: 5400
Damn Man your 25, time to put on your big boy pants and move out....
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
26,457 posts, read 17,788,424 times
Reputation: 31618
Have we got just the girl for you. She's 22, hates her Mom and little brother and complains nonstop about them and how she wants to have her own life, not follow their rules and have all the freedoms of an adult without the responsibilities. Most of us have the same advice I would give to you: If you don't like it there, then get out and on your own instead of complaining about it.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Princeton, New Jersey
250 posts, read 376,001 times
Reputation: 257
I notice the OP lives in NJ, as I do. Cheap apartments are hard to find.

My condolences. I'm 26 and live at home, as well. I want to move out but the only way out in NJ is to buy, as rent is ridiculous, and I don't make enough to do that, yet.

It's perfectly normal to want out. I'd just confront them about these issues, since holding them in is just going to drive you crazy. Especially if you feel they're using you. At best, the situation will get better. At worst, it doesn't, but you sure as heck have a strong motivation to get out!

Best of luck!
 
Old 12-17-2011, 09:59 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
2,913 posts, read 5,197,388 times
Reputation: 1170
I've wasted lots of money/worked my butt off renting and won't waste anymore. I'm at the age where I want some roots and a home and no city life. I also have a g/f I want to marry and with the economy like this I'd like to have a modest home with no mortgage.

Only reason I will feel bad is because my parents are out of shape and the only way they can "do for themselves" is have outsiders to do what I won't be around to help like yard-work, stupid christmas lights, fix a iphone all these gadgets I could care less about etc. Father is 54 and fat and stepmom is 45ish and can barely walk up stairs let alone run a household. The funniest thing is that in my culture parents are suppose to live with their son, but I almost want nothing to do with them. I want to be near my real mom who I've always been closer with but had to move.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 10:04 PM
 
43,017 posts, read 50,400,919 times
Reputation: 28784
Then go live with your real mother until you save up money to buy a house without a mortgage.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
2,913 posts, read 5,197,388 times
Reputation: 1170
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Then go live with your real mother until you save up money to buy a house without a mortgage.
She's in a similar situation as me haha. I can't live there. I guess this topic is more about how cold I feel towards my father and stepmom. I do have a plan to move soon and I'm meeting my financial requirement dates.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top