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Old 12-19-2011, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Maine
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This issue is not really related to Julia's thread, but when I saw hers I remembered I had wanted to raise this topic here.

How much privacy do you allow your kids and at what age?

My parents were hands-off. Of course I didn't have internet or facebook or texting. If they had read my diary I think they would have been pretty concerned about my mental well-being (I was depressed.) They also let me have far too much freedom in going out as a teen -- I was a good kid at home and school, and I think they made a mistake there, too.

DD is 11. She has a cell phone and knows that I reserve the right to check her texts and call log at random. We are going to register he for her own facebook page for Christmas (odd gift, but she's been dying for one), and we are setting the privacy options and both of us will be her "friends" so we can monitor the goings-on.

Is that going overboard? Am I veering too far from my own parents' lenient ways? I think with technology things are a little different...
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:15 PM
 
Location: North America
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Was the problems due to them being too lenient or do you feel maybe they didn't participate in your life enough?
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:17 PM
 
Location: North America
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Also i don't see anything wrong with the fb thing since you want to make sure she understands the type of people she can add, and has the maturity to deal with things on her own. But i would say checking on her phone might be a tad much.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:21 PM
 
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I think Lucidkitty made a very interesting observation. If one is an involved and active parent do you really need to strip away your childs right to a little privacy?

My kids are not yet at this stage of life, but I believe that my wife and I will take the approach of privacy being a given until you do something that deserves it being taken away. Assuming we stay active and engaged parents and loosen the leash gradually with greater and greater freedom, I see no reason why I need to "spy" on my kids outside of them giving me an explicit reason to do so. For instance, I wouldn't let my kid have a Facebook account if I was so concerned they may do something wrong that I needed to spy on them (though I do think being their "friend" is simply being responsible). When it comes to having a cell phone, I would simply not give them one, or greatly restrict their ability to use it, if I felt I couldn't trust them without having to spy on them.

I think kids and especially teens are just as deserving of a right to privacy as adults are.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:28 PM
 
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I think as long as overall shes a pretty good kid then you may want to ease up a little. Monitor facebook for sure though. Too many perverts on there. But the cell phone thing may be going overboard unless you have suspicions that she may be doing some bad things.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:33 PM
 
Location: North America
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
I think as long as overall shes a pretty good kid then you may want to ease up a little. Monitor facebook for sure though. Too many perverts on there. But the cell phone thing may be going overboard unless you have suspicions that she may be doing some bad things.

Well chances are once she understands the type of people to add of not she won't have to worry. You can set your privacy to only accept people who are your friends to message you. But to be honest i have never had random people PM me.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Well chances are once she understands the type of people to add of not she won't have to worry. You can set your privacy to only accept people who are your friends to message you. But to be honest i have never had random people PM me.

I have. Only once. But im paranoid about the whole internet thing with kids. Kids arent mature enough to realize that the person on the other side of the computer is really a 50 year old man, some kids are but not all. And for that reason i think monitoring FB is a must. Just my opinion though.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:44 PM
 
Location: North America
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
I have. Only once. But im paranoid about the whole internet thing with kids. Kids arent mature enough to realize that the person on the other side of the computer is really a 50 year old man, some kids are but not all. And for that reason i think monitoring FB is a must. Just my opinion though.

Well that's why i think she should do it on a graduated basis gently allowing her more freedom as she displays the maturity needed.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:53 PM
 
Location: California
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Not that I care but doesn't FB and federal law say 13 is the minimum age to be advertising your life online?
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Not that I care but doesn't FB and federal law say 13 is the minimum age to be advertising your life online?
The federal law is that you cannot open a social media account if you are under 13 without verifiable parental consent. So, in practical terms it means you need to click a box that says you are 13 and the fineprint absolves the social media site of any wrongdoing if you lie.
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