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Old 12-20-2011, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,384,932 times
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Why is it self-love to do nothing with yourself?
Why wouldn't it be self love to pamper yourself, take care of yoruself and make sure you looked your best all the time?

Why would anyone want to go around looking like crap in the name of being all natural and "self-loving"?
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Old 12-20-2011, 09:10 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,376,989 times
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It's about self-acceptance. Loving and accepting the real you, warts and all . . .anyone can look good with makeup and fancy clothes, but you are simply projecting an image of a person . . .it's better to be a real person (better in the sense that you can esteem yourself and love yourself for who you really are - not a fake image that you create with smoke and mirrors).
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Old 12-20-2011, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,384,932 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
It's about self-acceptance. Loving and accepting the real you, warts and all . . .anyone can look good with makeup and fancy clothes, but you are simply projecting an image of a person . . .it's better to be a real person (better in the sense that you can esteem yourself and love yourself for who you really are - not a fake image that you create with smoke and mirrors).
Sorry I am not like that.
Not now won't ever be.
I think of it as enhancing your true beauty.

My green eyes stand out so much more when I use this mascara that is made for green eyes. My eyes just POP when I use it, it makes my green eyes look greener. Pair it with this purple eyeliner and my eyes just glow green and look amazing.

My hair looks shiner and healthier when I blow dry/straighten it and use Paul Mitchell super skinny serum on it. It feels softer and looks cleaner and just over all looks better.
When I don't blow dry and straighten my hair its unruly, it curls funny, its not even curls its just wavy and it waves at odd sections and I look like I don't give a damn about myself.

You know we don't use ANYTHING in its natural form.
Even stuff like corn and veggies, we add butter, salt, lemon, whatever to it. People just naturally try and enhance things.
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Old 12-20-2011, 10:12 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
It's about self-acceptance. Loving and accepting the real you, warts and all . . .anyone can look good with makeup and fancy clothes, but you are simply projecting an image of a person . . .it's better to be a real person (better in the sense that you can esteem yourself and love yourself for who you really are - not a fake image that you create with smoke and mirrors).
With your line of thought, isn't how a person views themselves a "hard wired function?" It's thinking. Why are you spending so much time trying to teach a person how to "be a real person" and how to "esteem" and "love" themselves? You're merely feeding a different type of "cultural B.S." in an effort to mold someone to your way of thinking. You're TELLING someone what to think!

And if you believe low self esteem and the need for smoke and mirrors is the result of "cultural B.S." than you're contradicting yourself about believing people are hard wired. Either that, or you're saying that believe children should be left AS IS with no influence from the environment (which admits the environment can influence development)---even if that means they end up being gullible fools who believe and do everything they are told. You can't have it both ways.

When I said "teach how to think for themselves" I meant teach a child to consider the source, form their own conclusions, weigh consequences and outcomes, etc. Many children and adults don't automatically know how to do that. They easily fall for propaganda. They follow rules for the sake of rules. In other words, I meant "teach HOW to think" as opposed to "teach WHAT to think."

You started this thread wondering how one child can be good and how another child can be bad. Interesting question. I provided some ideas as to why. And you jump on the wording of "teach how to think for themselves." If you don't know the difference between teaching children how think analytically as opposed to merely teaching them what to think, your purpose for starting this thread is outright mindboggling.
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Old 12-20-2011, 10:23 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,739,847 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
It's about self-acceptance. Loving and accepting the real you, warts and all . . .anyone can look good with makeup and fancy clothes, but you are simply projecting an image of a person . . .it's better to be a real person (better in the sense that you can esteem yourself and love yourself for who you really are - not a fake image that you create with smoke and mirrors).
I think people can be perfectly comfortable with themselves and still want to wear nice clothes and makeup, have their hair styled in some way. All that is exterior, it doesn't change the interior person one way or the other.

Nice clothes don't make someone more a hypocrit or insecure, rags don't either, just like tattered clothes don't automatically mean someone is good or accepting of him/herself.
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Old 12-21-2011, 05:37 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,671,359 times
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Great posts by Hopes & Malamute.

Great distinction between "teaching your child HOW to think" and "teaching your child WHAT to think"! It's amazing, the difference between these two phrases. When you really talk with your kids...REAL conversations, REAL education about some human psychology and why people do what they do, you give those kids the tools to think for themselves. They're also a whole lot more likely to not fall for every single fad that comes along and fall into the trap of having to constantly trying to fit in with kids who also are probably just trying desperately to "fit in" as well.

I see too many parents falling back into their old childhood mentality, when they have kids. Rather than giving our kids the logic and reasoning behind why their classmates are acting the way they're acting, they become their "ally" and instead, teach them how to get even with them.
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Old 12-21-2011, 06:48 AM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,948,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Great posts by Hopes & Malamute.

Great distinction between "teaching your child HOW to think" and "teaching your child WHAT to think"! It's amazing, the difference between these two phrases.
Yes, and it's the secret to unlocking part of the entire conversation. Teaching your child how to think is your job as a parent. Kids encounter very similar environments, especially at school and through the media. How they've been trained (yes, I dare use that word) to think about what they see and experience colors their interpretation so that dramatic differences can be seen between the same experience's effects on one child and on another. This might explain how, while txtqueen and I have had very similar childhood experiences, I have such a different perspective than she.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:02 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,237,838 times
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Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Ok I guess I will rephrase.
I finally came into the idenity I always was going for.
My hair does what I want it to do, its always done. I have acheived the make-up styles I like and get compliments on it.

As a side note, I find it very sad that your whole identity is based on looks.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:12 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,237,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Why is it self-love to do nothing with yourself?
Why wouldn't it be self love to pamper yourself, take care of yoruself and make sure you looked your best all the time?

Why would anyone want to go around looking like crap in the name of being all natural and "self-loving"?

Huh. I don't look like crap. I was in my exercise class last night. The song Shake It came on by Michael Franti. There is one line that the whole class shouts out really loud

You're perfect just the way you are. Perfect just the way you are.

I love to dress up when we go out. I love to look like myself when we don't. My husband thinks my crazy Irish curly hair is gorgeous, as are my smile lines when they are aimed his way.

I don't know about self love. But it does have something to do with self confidence.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:16 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,237,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I think people can be perfectly comfortable with themselves and still want to wear nice clothes and makeup, have their hair styled in some way. All that is exterior, it doesn't change the interior person one way or the other.
It is problematic when they view themselves as crappy without.

Quote:
Nice clothes don't make someone more a hypocrit or insecure, rags don't either, just like tattered clothes don't automatically mean someone is good or accepting of him/herself.
NEEDING those trappings to feel self identity is immature IMO.
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