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Old 12-27-2011, 11:30 AM
 
589 posts, read 832,417 times
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Thanks everyone. I know with my kid he is just being stubborn. I have come to the conclusion that this issue is in my head and I need to just ignore this and not bring more attention to it. He doesn't like foods to touch either, and has been known to melt down over a drop of water on the outside of his cup. He is very strong willed, like me. He is this way with other things too, not just food. He basically rejects most anything I suggest to him! And he's too smart for reverse psychology. He is completely healthy so no worries there. It's just the stubborn person in me that thinks "I KNOW you would like this food if you would just try it, please just one bite!" The one bite minimum trick won't work with him. But the more I think about it the more it makes sense- I know I'm skeptical of any idea that is being sold too strongly to me!
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,674,546 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swerver View Post
Thanks everyone. I know with my kid he is just being stubborn. I have come to the conclusion that this issue is in my head and I need to just ignore this and not bring more attention to it. He doesn't like foods to touch either, and has been known to melt down over a drop of water on the outside of his cup. He is very strong willed, like me. He is this way with other things too, not just food. He basically rejects most anything I suggest to him! And he's too smart for reverse psychology. He is completely healthy so no worries there. It's just the stubborn person in me that thinks "I KNOW you would like this food if you would just try it, please just one bite!" The one bite minimum trick won't work with him. But the more I think about it the more it makes sense- I know I'm skeptical of any idea that is being sold too strongly to me!

Ahhhhh so what you're saying is that the apple didn't fall too far from the tree? So the real challenge here will be in seeing who can out-stubborn the other one! Good luck there. So how does he respond to casseroles or soup? It sounds like you have a little one who should be coming in and helping with food prep, like others have mentioned.

Gosh, there is such a fine line between "catering" to a child's wants and torturing them. Like a couple of others here, there are a few things that I truly can not eat. The aversions that I still have are probably partially due to the fact that I HAD to gag them down as a child. To this day, even thinking about eating them, almost makes me gag. Cooked, mashed squash is one of them. The odd thing is that I LOVE cream of wheat, wheat hearts, tapioca pudding, pumpkin pie (made without cloves...another of my GAAAGH!! issues). Therefore, it can' just be about the texture.

Hilarious story though...If I take the same winter squash (that gags me when it's mashed and in a bowl), puree that squash, and make a squash pie, I love it!
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Old 12-27-2011, 02:38 PM
 
2,873 posts, read 4,547,142 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
You are responding to me, so I think it is important to reiterate that I am not for forcing kids to eat anything.

But to answer your question why would the adults be able to do things differently than the kids, we don't. My husband likes chili. I hate chili. I make it for him because he likes it. I eat a very small meal that evening so that I am not hungry. But that is not a meal I tuck into with great fervor.

No fuss. Some meals are your favorite. Some meals not so much. Sometimes food is just food.
I make foods for my mother than I don't like, like ham and bean soup. And then I go make myself a nice sandwich. Why force yourself to eat something you don't enjoy if other options exist? Note I'm not talking about food that's just 'meh' to you- I'm talking about food where you're forcing down every spoonful. If you 'hate' it, that's what it implies.
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Old 12-27-2011, 02:50 PM
 
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A battle of wills? I don't really know what the point is of that...after all, it is food, if they don't eat it, is it really that big of a deal? There are so many other battles to pick..let them win this one. It is a small victory...so, they don't eat a piece of pumpkin pie, or green beans...is it really something to force a child to eat? Not in my book. I have so many other things to deal with...
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Old 12-27-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ParallelJJCat View Post
I make foods for my mother than I don't like, like ham and bean soup. And then I go make myself a nice sandwich. Why force yourself to eat something you don't enjoy if other options exist? Note I'm not talking about food that's just 'meh' to you- I'm talking about food where you're forcing down every spoonful. If you 'hate' it, that's what it implies.
There are a number of reasons.

1. It is rude to turn your nose up at something someone has prepared. It would be unfair for me to be able to make something else for myself if the rest of the fam cannot. I expect my kids to not be rude to me as much as anyone else. And I would drop dead if they went to someone's house and requested a separate meal because they "don't like it". As I mentioned in another post, it was a great habit when I was growing up (though my parents DID make us eat things we hated. Just not eating was not an option.) Over the years, there have been many social and business situations in which being able to graciously eat things that i thought was nasty was an excellent habit to be in. (Side note, I have a friend who prepares her son a separate meal when he doesn't like something IN MY HOUSE. Sorry that is just rude. I don't say anything because that is rude too. But I think it is absurd to accept a dinner invitation over someone's house and tell them he doesn't like pizza I am going to make noodles.)

2. As I have mentioned before, food is sustenance. Having a healthy respect for what food is and what food isn't is GOOD. Food is not always about enjoyment.

3. It is good preparation for life. We won't always be able to make our food choices based on like. We may have to choose based on nutritional value, cost...
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Old 12-27-2011, 03:36 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,735,299 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It is rude to turn your nose up at something someone has prepared. It would be unfair for me to be able to make something else for myself if the rest of the fam cannot. I expect my kids to not be rude to me as much as anyone else. And I would drop dead if they went to someone's house and requested a separate meal because they "don't like it".
Don't you think there is a difference between just not eating something and requesting a different meal?

I often eat at people's homes where there is a dish I do not care to eat. I simply skip it without comment and eat the things I like. I doubt anyone even notices. I cannot remember a single time that I have ever been at someone else's house for a meal and there has been NOTHING there I would eat.

When I have guests at my house I often inquire about dietary needs. My aunt is a vegetarian so I always prepare some sort of meal that she eats. I usually also prepare something the rest of the family will eat (maybe two trays of a pasta dish, one with meat, one with cheese). I don't think it is rude for her to not eat the meat dish. She just passes it by. What is the big deal?
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:34 PM
 
589 posts, read 832,417 times
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Also let me clarify one thing. It wouldn't bug me if it was just one thing here or there he didnt like. There are only a few things he likes. Casserole or soup? Not a chance. The pizza in my first example was plain cheese pizza.
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:59 PM
 
15,304 posts, read 16,863,154 times
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Originally Posted by swerver View Post
Also let me clarify one thing. It wouldn't bug me if it was just one thing here or there he didnt like. There are only a few things he likes. Casserole or soup? Not a chance. The pizza in my first example was plain cheese pizza.
In general, picky eaters can just be picky, but... in the case of a child who has real issues, I suggest an evaluation for sensory processing disorder. He may have true texture issues or even issues with swallowing. A good evaluation will rule that out if it is not true and suggest therapy if it is true. A good OT can do wonders for eating especially one that specializes in feeding therapy.
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Old 12-27-2011, 05:33 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,241,988 times
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Don't you think there is a difference between just not eating something and requesting a different meal?
Have you read any of my posts? Just not eating something is the alternative though I think that is rather rude when you are a guest. Being able to serve yourself a small amount of something is a good thing.

Quote:
I often eat at people's homes where there is a dish I do not care to eat. I simply skip it without comment and eat the things I like. I doubt anyone even notices. I cannot remember a single time that I have ever been at someone else's house for a meal and there has been NOTHING there I would eat.
Precisely.
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Old 12-27-2011, 06:09 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,735,299 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Have you read any of my posts? Just not eating something is the alternative though I think that is rather rude when you are a guest. Being able to serve yourself a small amount of something is a good thing.


Precisely.
I don't see what the big deal is if a guest skips one of the dishes offered at dinner. Who would even notice?
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