U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-21-2011, 05:55 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,490 posts, read 13,349,016 times
Reputation: 19916

Advertisements

A swat on the butt to get their attention is not brute force, and I'm not concerned with endearing myself to a child. As a parent I'm sure we all do things that are best for a child that don't endear us to them. Teaching them to mind adults whether they are at home or visiting in someone else's home is one of those things IMO. If you don't trust me not to 'beat' your child why would you leave them with me?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-21-2011, 05:58 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,233,571 times
Reputation: 14654
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
A swat on the butt to get their attention

Attention? Hitting them at TEN to get attention? Not that I think it is a great idea at any age...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:07 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,946,507 times
Reputation: 2585
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
A swat on the butt to get their attention is not brute force, and I'm not concerned with endearing myself to a child. As a parent I'm sure we all do things that are best for a child that don't endear us to them. Teaching them to mind adults whether they are at home or visiting in someone else's home is one of those things IMO. If you don't trust me not to 'beat' your child why would you leave them with me?
Some parents either don't know where their kid is (which is admittedly wrong) and others don't stop to think about what you may or may not do (also not good parenting). Still, would you really risk a lawsuit from some rich family or a domestic dispute all because you insist that a swat on their kid's bottom is the best way to "teach" them something?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:16 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,983,895 times
Reputation: 1478
No you do not have the right to swat someone else's child. The mom should have told the child (firmly) to stop and then called her mother to come and take her home.

No need to be disrespected in one's own home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:16 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,490 posts, read 13,349,016 times
Reputation: 19916
A swat is not hitting. Hitting hurts. Really , you guys drop your kids off at houses where you don't know the parents well enough to know their parenting style? Call me old fashioned but when my kids were little most of the parents in my group had a pretty darn good idea of what to expect from other parents, and we seemed to be okay with other parents disciplining our kids when they didn't behave. I know it's wildly unpopular but I don't fall in with the argument that it's taboo to touch a child when disciplining them. Which is not to say that I advocate spanking or beating a child. There is a difference, and I don't know why it seems like everybody has to fall into one camp or another. A pop on the butt is not worthy of a lawsuit and I tend to stay far away from the kind of people who would even think that way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,382,457 times
Reputation: 3018
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
A swat is not hitting. Hitting hurts. Really , you guys drop your kids off at houses where you don't know the parents well enough to know their parenting style? Call me old fashioned but when my kids were little most of the parents in my group had a pretty darn good idea of what to expect from other parents, and we seemed to be okay with other parents disciplining our kids when they didn't behave. I know it's wildly unpopular but I don't fall in with the argument that it's taboo to touch a child when disciplining them. Which is not to say that I advocate spanking or beating a child. There is a difference, and I don't know why it seems like everybody has to fall into one camp or another. A pop on the butt is not worthy of a lawsuit and I tend to stay far away from the kind of people who would even think that way.

Even if you know the other parents parenting style it is not up to the other parent to use that parenting style on your child as well.
I would be ok with my child being friends with a child who was spanked but if I sent my child over there I would not expect that my child be disciplined the same.

If my child was acting up and not listening I would expect them to be placed in time out or have something removed from them, like remove them from the activity or remove the toy they are playing with and if it is bad enough call me and I will come deal with it but if anyone laid a hand on my child I would be livid, especially as someone who is going to be a non-spanker.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,658,725 times
Reputation: 19409
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
A swat is not hitting. Hitting hurts. Really , you guys drop your kids off at houses where you don't know the parents well enough to know their parenting style? Call me old fashioned but when my kids were little most of the parents in my group had a pretty darn good idea of what to expect from other parents, and we seemed to be okay with other parents disciplining our kids when they didn't behave. I know it's wildly unpopular but I don't fall in with the argument that it's taboo to touch a child when disciplining them. Which is not to say that I advocate spanking or beating a child. There is a difference, and I don't know why it seems like everybody has to fall into one camp or another. A pop on the butt is not worthy of a lawsuit and I tend to stay far away from the kind of people who would even think that way.
Frankly, I never allowed allowed my children to go to someone's house, whom I did not know VERY well. I knew them well enough to know what forms of discipline they used. I EXPECTED my children to follow the rules of their home. If they did not do so, they could expect to receive the same punishment from THAT parent, as their own children received, if the parent felt it was necessary to punish them. They were also free to call me on the phone and have me come pick up my child, so that they could be disciplined at home.

Who knows...maybe my children really WERE angels at other people's houses, because to the best of my knowledge, in my 28 years of parenting, not one of my children ever had to be punished by another parent. However, they ALWAYS knew that thier friends' parents had my permission to do so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 06:37 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,276,463 times
Reputation: 22274
I never laid a hand on my own child or stepchildren so I certainly wouldn't do that to someone else's child, lol.

If things are hyped to the point that a parent has to step in and discipline a visiting child, it is time for the child to go home.

My child knew never to jump on the bed. If another child had come in and started jumping on a bed, my son would have corrected them by saying "we don't do that - we will get in trouble." All I had to do was tell any visiting kids that we have rules in our house and even if they don't do the same things the same way at their homes, when visiting our home, visitors follows our rules.

Parents who over-explain (you will break the jewelry box if you keep jumping!) don't have a clue. If the problem is - kids jumping on the bed - you simply tell them to stop jumping on the bed or they go home. PERIOD.

Some people make things way too complicated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,706 posts, read 2,923,476 times
Reputation: 1741
No way. There are so many other ways to to discipline a child without resorting to a spanking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2011, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,095,491 times
Reputation: 1529
NO ONE has the right to hit my child regardless of what she has done. If there was a problem, call me to pick her up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top