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Old 12-22-2011, 12:50 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,243,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
but ANY chance that could happen makes it a no go for me.
Then you better not let him
- go over a friend's house
- go over the grandparents house
- go to school

...
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
The odds may not be high that a pedophile would target him, but ANY chance that could happen makes it a no go for me.
May not be that high? The odds of being molested by a stranger are so low that if you consider it a real risk better keep them inside else they get struck by lightning, no baths or swimming pools either because they might drown. The odds are roughly the same.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
As opposed to walking to school, going to a friends house, going to a sports practice, etc. Are we really to make all decisions regarding our kids based on what is essentially an imaginary and overhyped fear of predators? In all honesty, her son has a FAR greater chance of being molested at a family reunion within a couple hundred feet of his parents then he does going on a bus ride by himself.



With the above said, I still don't know if I would load him on a bus by himself. I would personally default to driving him myself. However, my statement on that is based on the age of 11, which is only a number. If the OP believes that this is something her son can handle than this is about as controlled of an environment to do it as any.

I would contact the bus company ahead of time and see if they have any policies on unaccompanied minors, I would imagine they do. I would also make him sit in the front near the driver and make sure grandmom knew exactly what time and what bus he is on. Giving him a cell phone is also a necessity for something like this as the unexpected does happen and he may need to call. A cheap prepaid phone is more than adequate, but if you have a regular cell phone to give him, do that and activate the parenting features that will let you track his location, all major cell providers have these.

My decision to do it is entirely dependent on the kid themselves and not some illogical fear. If you think your son can handle it, then give him the chance.
Hey, keep you head buried in the sand about the way pedophiles look for unaccompanied kids to prey on, that's your right, but this happens thousands of time a day in America.

But as a mom I always viewed myself as the first line of defense in my kids lives. Foolish decisions on my part could have resulted in them having to pay the ultimate price, which was a risk I was not willing to take. (this went for who they got in cars with, who they traveled with, who they spent the night with ect.)

I took my job as a mom VERY seriously and I never chose to do things the easy way just so I wouldn't be inconvenienced. That's just the way I rolled - others are free to parent how ever they see fit.

Since the OP asked for opinions I am just giving her mine
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,803,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You can hate it all you want, but I would never put my child at 11 in this situation.

The odds may not be high that a pedophile would target him, but ANY chance that could happen makes it a no go for me.

My opinion on this has been reinforced by friends and family that are in law enforcement. They see and know far more than we want to about this kind of thing, so I trust their judgement.
Not choosing to put your child on the bus, and having fear driven by anecdotes are 2 different things. All people in law enforcement see terrible things. Next time ask them for statistics on stranger vs. known perpetrators.

And statistically a child has a far greater possibility of being assaulted by a coach, step-father, uncle, scout master, priest than a stranger on a bus.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
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Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
May not be that high? The odds of being molested by a stranger are so low that if you consider it a real risk better keep them inside else they get struck by lightning, no baths or swimming pools either because they might drown. The odds are roughly the same.
I am aware that more kids are molested by people they know, or at least recognize, than they are by strangers.

But that doesn't mean pedophiles aren't out there looking for opportunities to strike when they see a child alone.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Hey, keep you head buried in the sand about the way pedophiles look for unaccompanied kids to prey on, that's your right.
I would argue that my head isn't the one buried in the sand...

Quote:
But as a mom I always viewed myself as the first line of defense in my kids lives. Foolish decisions on my part could have resulted in them having to pay the ultimate price, which was a risk I was not willing to take. (this went for who they got in cars with, who they traveled with, who they spent the night with ect.)
What risks did you let your kids take? Did it ever occur to you that statistically it was those people who you trusted and vetted that would be the ones who would most likely molest your kids?

Quote:
I took my job as a mom VERY seriously and I never chose to do things the easy way just so I wouldn't be inconvenienced. That's just the way I rolled - others are free to parent how ever they see fit.
It's not about being inconvenienced, it's about being reasonable and understanding actual risk versus perceived risk.

Quote:
Since the OP asked for opinions I am just giving her mine
As am I.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:58 PM
 
14,777 posts, read 34,552,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
But that doesn't mean pedophiles aren't out there looking for opportunities to strike when they see a child alone.
There are also hunks of rock making their way through the atmosphere and occasionally they don't fully disintegrate and hit the ground. Yet, I don't wear a helmet when I take the trash out...
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
There are also hunks of rock making their way through the atmosphere and occasionally they don't fully disintegrate and hit the ground. Yet, I don't wear a helmet when I take the trash out...
LOL, and neither do I
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:01 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,243,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Hey, keep you head buried in the sand about the way pedophiles look for unaccompanied kids to prey on, that's your right, but this happens thousands of time a day in America.
"The stark reality of the statistics is that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 and it can affect any child regardless of age, gender, family income, culture, race, religion, physical appearance, sexuality, intellect, disability etc.

Most sexual abuse (85%) is perpetrated someone within the child's social sphere - for example, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, youth worker, religious leader, neighbour. Despite the stereotypical image of the abuser propagated by the media, abusers usually do not look like monsters and it is relatively rare for them to be strangers. "
1 in 6 boys where 85%
[/quote]
So while you are busy protecting him from strangers, he is at MUCH greater risk from those he knows.

What is your last line of defense there?!?


Quote:
But as a mom I always viewed myself as the first line of defense in my kids lives. Foolish decisions on my part could have resulted in them having to pay the ultimate price, which was a risk I was not willing to take. (this went for who they got in cars with, who they traveled with, who they spent the night with ect.)

I took my job as a mom VERY seriously
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
"The stark reality of the statistics is that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 and it can affect any child regardless of age, gender, family income, culture, race, religion, physical appearance, sexuality, intellect, disability etc.

Most sexual abuse (85%) is perpetrated someone within the child's social sphere - for example, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, youth worker, religious leader, neighbour. Despite the stereotypical image of the abuser propagated by the media, abusers usually do not look like monsters and it is relatively rare for them to be strangers. "
1 in 6 boys where 85%

So while you are busy protecting him from strangers, he is at MUCH greater risk from those he knows.

What is your last line of defense there?!?


I have already stated that I am aware of the stats - more children ARE molested by those they know than strangers.

That doesn't mean that pedophiles aren't looking for kids traveling alone to take advantage of when the opportunity presents itself.

I also said the odds aren't great of this happening, but any risk of it would have been too great for me when my kids were 11.

Last edited by JustJulia; 12-22-2011 at 03:07 PM.. Reason: fixed tag
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