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Old 12-23-2011, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 6,914,833 times
Reputation: 2669

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
This is your sister-in-law's child, correct? Your niece? Has her mother asked you for advice about how to discipline her daughter? You say, "I think we need to find other ways to discipline her and have patience"--who is "we"? If your sister-in-law doesn't want to hear or follow your advice, nothing will change, and there's nothing you can do about that.
^This. Why is this even your business? Does this child live with you?
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:53 AM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,836,530 times
Reputation: 17473
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
^This. Why is this even your business? Does this child live with you?
Maybe she cares about the child? It is, after all, her sil's daughter. While she cannot necessarily change much, children do need other loving adults in their lives and if her mom is having trouble, helping her is not a bad thing.
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:55 AM
 
Location: United State of Texas
1,707 posts, read 6,201,548 times
Reputation: 2135
If this person can't handle a 2 year old... I hate to see what it's like when the kid is 16.
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:59 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
Reputation: 32578
Quote:
Originally Posted by califdad View Post
I think we need to find other ways to discipline her and have patience. Does anyone have any inputs on how we can discipline her?

1) Who, exactly, is "we"? Does the mother think there is a problem? Has the mother asked you for help? Is this discipline and patience going to be provided by you or the mother? (Which takes me back to the "who is WE question.)

Edit to add I just noticed JustJulia asked the same question. Good job, Julia!
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:39 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,167 times
Reputation: 10
Wow. Am glad to see so many responses. Thank you all.
To answer some of the questions...
We are visiting my sister-in-law and will be staying with her for a while. Me and my wife want to help her in any way we could, because we care about her and her family.
Will think about the advice you all have given and see what is best. Thanks for posting the links and recommendations for reading material.
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Old 12-24-2011, 08:41 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
Reputation: 32578
Quote:
Originally Posted by califdad View Post
Wow. Am glad to see so many responses. Thank you all.
To answer some of the questions...
We are visiting my sister-in-law and will be staying with her for a while. Me and my wife want to help her in any way we could, because we care about her and her family.
One question you didn't answer: has the mother asked you for help?

If she hasn't, how will she feel about your offering up free advice and disciplining HER child? You might want to think about that. If she has, talk to her about all the TV watching.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-24-2011 at 08:49 AM..
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Old 12-24-2011, 12:56 PM
 
2,714 posts, read 5,348,165 times
Reputation: 6218
Quote:
Originally Posted by califdad View Post
Wow. Am glad to see so many responses. Thank you all.
To answer some of the questions...
We are visiting my sister-in-law and will be staying with her for a while. Me and my wife want to help her in any way we could, because we care about her and her family.
Will think about the advice you all have given and see what is best. Thanks for posting the links and recommendations for reading material.
Well that clarifies the living situation but you should leave the discipline to the child's parents. You can be caring, concerned and desire to help the child's parents cope with or address the situation but again, leave the actual disciplining to them.

Last edited by cleasach; 12-24-2011 at 12:56 PM.. Reason: fixed a very weird sounding sentence
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Old 12-24-2011, 09:52 PM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,281,021 times
Reputation: 26463
If you feel like the Mother would benefit from a parenting skills class, they are often free, google that for her area, and let her know about resources available to help her, and even being with other Moms having the same issues is helpful. And perhaps, a better method of providing support.
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:27 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,167 times
Reputation: 10
Yes, the mother knows about this post and we discuss with her about what can be done. And we definitely want the parents to discipline her, not us. Me and my wife just want to provide the mom with information that she can use. Unfortunately, she is too tied up because of her daughter, so am trying to help her with searching information on the internet. We have talked to her about TV and have already started cutting down on TV time and having her spend more time on playing.
Me and my wife have a 14 month old son and we can also benefit from the information in this thread and others.
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Old 12-26-2011, 11:24 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,565,345 times
Reputation: 22474
Quote:
Originally Posted by califdad View Post
I have been reading through some posts and found some possible explanation / answers, but I thought I should still post this.

My sister-in-law has a 22 month old daughter. She is pretty active. A few times a day she gets into this mode where she starts demanding things like chocolates, ice cream or just to go out, all at one time. Sometimes she wakes up at night at odd-times and demands for these things and/or milk. Most of the time she sleeps well at night. She also watches a lot of TV and even when there is a song playing on the TV, she demands playing another song on the cellphone, simultaneously. Her mom tried scolding, spanking and ignoring. Ignoring seems to have helped a bit, but temporarily.

Based on some posts that I read so far, I think we need to find other ways to discipline her and have patience. Does anyone have any inputs on how we can discipline her?
Two year olds are supposed to be active and demanding. I think the ignore is the best approach. Just patiently ignore unreasonable demands and positively reinforce good behavior.
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